07/06/2026
Today Dad would have turned 73.
Instead, his life was cut short by a one-punch, domestic and family violence assault.
As I inch closer to the age he never reached, I think more about everything that was taken from him. And from us.
Dad was gentle. He had never been in a physical fight in his life, which makes the way he died even harder to accept.
In the aftermath of his homicide I wanted accountability.
I wanted the opportunity to sit across from the person responsible for dad’s death and ask “why”.
That opportunity was denied. Instead, the system assumed it knew what justice looked like.
More than two decades later, conferencing and restorative justice processes remain inaccessible to many victims who want them.
My experience, and the experiences of many other survivors, have taught me that victims are not a homogenous group.
Some want custodial sentences. Some want rehabilitation. Some want answers. Some want acknowledgement. Many want different things at different times.
But all of us want a say.
Yet victims still play a passive role in our justice system.
Our public debates about crime and justice still treat victims as though we are all the same.
We’re not. And a one size fits all system fails most of us.
If we are serious about putting victims at the centre of our justice system, politicians, policymakers and the media need to make space for the full diversity of victim experiences and justice needs.
Nothing can bring Dad back. But perhaps his story can remind us that listening to victims means more than speaking on our behalf.
In his and others victims’ names, may we have the courage to build systems that recognise our differences.
