28/08/2026
My Grief, leading up to Esme’s 10 year anniversary.
The days are softer, more gentle as i recognise the signs of grief yet i struggle to understand how it has been 10 years since i last saw her. I now openly say, “I’m having a hard day.”, “I’m struggling with my grief today and feel overwhelmed.”, “I feel lost and can’t seem to get anything done.”
i feel comfort and closeness from her, leaning into the warmth from the rays. I pause and feel them against my skin, feel the breeze on my face, the wind through my hair. She’s close.
I’ve remembered to take little breaks & often think of her a lot. My bracelet helps with finding a place for my love to go. I look at it and smile. My children twist the circle and play with the star.
I’ve done things which are good for my soul. Being in nature always helps bring peace.
I made time to do things just for Esme. I took Charlotte to the garden centre to choose a plant for her grave. On the way, we talked about the two of them in the neonatal unit, how they shared clothes and both looked great in pink and purple.
I know that 10 years is just a day, like any other day. I won’t think of her anymore or any less. But 10 years feels big. Maybe it scares me how fast time goes.
Elle from Elle wrote a beautiful post about her Teddy and that has helped me a lot. Thank you for sharing 💫
Remember to always look for the glimmers ✨
