22/05/2026
Below is the next story of our Stroke journey with a picture of Mum and Dad and how I like to remember them.
But I do want to say before you read on, that should you or your loved one's have a stroke, get in touch with the
At the beginning, they were an absolute lifeline for information and grounding. They were fantastic.
I had one particular lady from the association who just phoned up out of the blue to see how I was and her timings couldn't have been better as they always came when I was at my lowest-how did she know?
People often think the hardest part of a stroke is the night it happens but it is fair to say, for us, that was only the beginning.
Once the emergency settles, a whole new life starts:
Hospitals.
Meetings.
Forms.
Capacity assessments.
Trying to understand all those acronyms!!!
Going through hoops to get funding and then having it taken away again.
Having to sell Mum's property to pay for care. We had the buyer from hell for that one. Even his own solicitor was exasperated..
And whilst all this is happening, you are still trying to be somebody’s daughter.
The role reversal was not something I consciously thought about at the time, I just got on with what needed to be done. But at the back of my mind I kept thinking, “Will Dad be pleased with us?”
My father worshipped the ground Mum walked on, so although he had already passed away, he was still there in the back of my mind because I didn’t want to let him down.
Overnight, me and my sister found ourselves making decisions we never imagined having to make and it soon became clear our relationship as siblings was going to become a bit of a rollercoaster ride because we think very differently to one another.
I also learned very quickly that families do not always cope the same way in a crisis.
People grieve differently.
Problem solve differently.
Communicate differently.
And underneath it all sits guilt.
Guilt when residential care becomes the safest option despite promises you once made.
And then, when one of those homes later lets your loved one down in the most catastrophic way imaginable, the guilt grows even heavier.
Six years after making a complaint via solicitors, they still have not properly accounted for their actions.
But that is another story for another day.
Stroke affects far more than mobility.
It changes identities, relationships, family dynamics and futures.
And nearly ten years later, there are still parts of that journey that stay with me.
I still don’t think I have properly grieved or said goodbye to my Mum.
However, I am proud that my own experiences has not pulled me down or made me bitter/resentful but instead, it made me resolute to help Carers and Care services to be the best they can be.
