Captain Tootys Biker Smiles page

Captain Tootys Biker Smiles page Captain Tootys Chat page, every one with a love of 2, 3, or 4 wheels welcome am one of the most "down to earth" admins you will ever meet. I stick to my values.

There is nothing about me (or what I own) that is any better than anyone else. That said, I do strive for excellence in everything I do, as I think everyone should. As admin, I have studied every brand of motorcycles there is, to "qualify" myself to run a biker page. Also owned well over a 100 bikes, and to date 79 trikes, most makes, I've been riding nearly 50 years. I love ALL brands, and think

each one has a specific function for the rider in question. I say this as humble as possible - don't compare brands on this page. You won't like the outcome. Harley and Yamaha are my personal favorites, but I don't promote ANY brand, because I think it's irrelevant. I like Harley because it SCREAMS "Bad Boy", and always will. I like Kawasaki because the brand has never changed hands, and the owner is a stickler for quality - (can you say "Samaria sword?"). But I buy used - I look for bikes & trikes in need of a little TLC. Once a bike/trike has been sold, every bit of money spent on it goes back into the community. Being a disabled Biker/Triker myself I understand what its like to want to keep the lifestyle, the way of life our hearts want, but sometimes can't quite find. after being given early medical retirement from government service, I now dedicate my time to helping others stay sane, in this crazy world. If you need help, advice, a friend, just ask. Trikes for sale, just ask, I always know someone selling, and feel free to advertise on this page.

05/09/2026

The Silly Saturday Smile :
A lady walks into Tiffany’s, she looks around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet, and walks over to inspect it.

As she bends over to look more closely, she unexpectedly farts…

Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone noticed her little woopsie, and prays that a salesperson was not anywhere near.

As she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes in the form of a salesman standing right behind her…good looking as well. Cool as a cucumber, he displays all of the qualities one would expect of a professional in a store like Tiffany’s.

He politely greets the lady with, "Good day, madam. How may we help you today?"

Blushing and uncomfortable, but still hoping that the salesman somehow missed her little 'incident’, she asks, "Sir, what is the price of this lovely bracelet?"

He answers, “Madam, if you farted just looking at it - you’re going
to s**t when I tell you the price.”

04/09/2026

May today be the Fridayest Friday that ever Friday’d

04/09/2026
04/09/2026

The Freaky Friday Smile :
Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation:

When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says. "Honey, my hands are freezing!"

She says. "Well put them here between my legs and that will warm them up."

After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says gain "Man! My hands are really freezing."

She says again. "Well put them here between my legs and warm them up."

He does, and again that warms him up.

After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop wood for the night.

When he returns, he again says. "Honey, my hands are really freezing!"

She looks at him and says......
"FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, DON'T YOUR EARS EVER GET COLD?" 😅

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Hucknall
Nottinghamshire

Opening Hours

Monday 10am - 5pm
Tuesday 9:30am - 4:30pm
Wednesday 9am - 4:22pm
Thursday 9am - 5pm
Friday 9am - 4pm

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