02/09/2026
BREAKING: Private security patrols launched to protect Essex residents from Reform councillors.
Private security patrols are now underway in towns and cities across Essex to protect local residents from elected representatives of Reform UK.
Operation Sh*tehawk officers won’t have the same powers as police officers, but they will be able to loudly scream ‘bollocks’ into a megaphone every time a town or county councillor is heard making a promise that relates to a topic outside of their personal remit, such as ‘stopping boats’ as opposed to bins or hanging flower baskets.