Bearwood Parish Council

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Bearwood Parish Council Bearwood Parish Council, UK
For the people, By the people, In the people. Not in Birmingham.

You may have already seen Backrooms, but did you know that the original inspiration for the film came from an accidental...
23/06/2026

You may have already seen Backrooms, but did you know that the original inspiration for the film came from an accidental visit that the director made to Bearwood Cash & Carry in 2024?

22/06/2026

Rather than using wheel clamps to immobilise offending vehicles, we are currently experimenting with using bees.

The benefit to this approach is that a swarm of trained bees is much trickier to remove and are much more whimsical.

West Midlands Mayor Richard Parker has announced a bold new sports strategy for the West Midlands.  As part of the plan,...
21/06/2026

West Midlands Mayor Richard Parker has announced a bold new sports strategy for the West Midlands. As part of the plan, each resident will be reassigned a new football team to support based on which club is located closest to their current address.

The new system, is seem to be fairer that the current system, and will see all Wednesbury residents becoming Walsall FC fans, all Handsworth residents becoming West Brom fans and so on.

As well as being assigned a League Team (or in some cases, a National League Team), each resident will also be allocated an optional second team from the lower leagues (levels 6-9 on the football pyramid) to also lend their support.

You can find out your new team you can check the maps below. There are also interactive versions of the maps available via a link in the comments.

Recently we've been experimenting with teaching the bears in Warley Woods to play 5-a side football. The bears seem to e...
21/06/2026

Recently we've been experimenting with teaching the bears in Warley Woods to play 5-a side football. The bears seem to enjoy it, and have already formed their own league (featuring only two teams).

The crows have rather predictably formed a gambling ring to wager food scraps an the results.

It's hoped that the exhibition matches will be a big crowd draw and we have soft-launched the concept to the people of Bearwood with this crocheted post box topper.

A mild moral panic was sparked in Bearwood earlier today, as a giant unidentified ph***ic object (UPO) made of balloons ...
20/06/2026

A mild moral panic was sparked in Bearwood earlier today, as a giant unidentified ph***ic object (UPO) made of balloons was seen making its way along Three Shires Oak Road.

Local residents visibly blushed and clutched their pearls, and one person reportedly fainted, at the sight of the large pink and gold inflatable member being delivered to ORyans cocktail bar, for what we can only imagine to be some sort of Todger Disco tonight.

20/06/2026

In exciting news, the opening of a new Wetherspoon pub in Bearwood appears to be one step closer!

As previously reported, the pub company look set to takeover The King's Head, with the upstairs rooms being converted into a 'Japanese-style Love Hotel' - the first such establishment in Wetherspoon's portfolio.

The company were no doubt inspired in this by the pub's slightly risqué postcode.

Taking inspiration from innovations at the World Cup, we are introducing mandatory 'Hydration Breaks' for all Bearwood r...
18/06/2026

Taking inspiration from innovations at the World Cup, we are introducing mandatory 'Hydration Breaks' for all Bearwood residents.

The two breaks (to be held at 11:00 and 15:00) can be used to consume any drink as long as they are downed within the three minute window.

Have you ever wondered what the nearest pub or bar is to you right now*? 👀Well our Bearwood Council map boffins have an ...
16/06/2026

Have you ever wondered what the nearest pub or bar is to you right now*? 👀

Well our Bearwood Council map boffins have an answer for you! We've created a Voronoi map to show you what the closest pub is to you at any location in the West Midlands! There is even an interactive version (see link in comments). 👇

*the map assumes you have the power of flight, or can run through walls. If you can't run through walls or fly, please do not attempt this.

We hold an extensive collection of maps relating to Bearwood and its surrounding dependencies. Here are some 'voronoi' m...
15/06/2026

We hold an extensive collection of maps relating to Bearwood and its surrounding dependencies.

Here are some 'voronoi' maps, we've had made to help Bearwood residents to plan travel and other activities. These maps show the nearest railway station, pub and orange chips.

This mysterious sign has been spotted on a telecoms box on War Lane in South Bearwood (Harborne). We are investigating, ...
13/06/2026

This mysterious sign has been spotted on a telecoms box on War Lane in South Bearwood (Harborne). We are investigating, but in the meantime, whatever you do, DO NOT CALL THIS NUMBER.

If you DO call the number, please let us know what happens (if you survive).

Credit to Redditer u/SidneyBigLove for bringing this to our attention.

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Bearwood Autonomous Oblast

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