27/08/2026
When Someone You Love Is a Perpetrator of Domestic Abuse
Domestic abuse doesn't just affect victims.
It also leaves families, friends, and loved ones carrying a different kind of pain.
Imagine discovering that your son, daughter, sibling, relative, or friend is abusing their partner.
The shock. The disappointment. The guilt. The confusion.
You may find yourself asking:
"Where did this behaviour come from?"
"Could I have done something differently?"
"How do I support the victim without abandoning someone I love?"
These are difficult questions with no easy answers.
Loving someone does not mean excusing abusive behaviour.
And holding someone accountable does not mean you love them any less.
One of the hardest truths to accept is that a person can be caring, funny, and loved by their family, while also causing serious harm to their partner behind closed doors.
"When I learned my son had been abusive towards his partner, I was devastated. I felt ashamed and responsible. It took time to realise that I didn't cause his behaviour, but I did have a responsibility not to excuse it. Supporting him meant encouraging him to take responsibility for his actions, not pretending they hadn't happened."
Domestic abuse affects entire families and communities.
If you are affected by domestic abuse, whether as a victim, survivor, concerned family member, or someone worried about another person's behaviour, Restart is here to help.
π 07977 595 910 / 0800 254 5087
π§ [email protected]
π§ [email protected]
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