26/07/2026
Do you have a chronic health condition and were told to fast Tisha B’Av, unless you started to feel “unwell”? Did you make it through the fast just to end up in a flare the next day?
Are you wondering if this was the right decision, or did you push yourself too far?
This might be a very niche topic for those who experience chronic health conditions, and are often unsure of how to navigate religious customs like fasting. I am not a Rabbi and will not pretend to be, but many people who ask their local rabbinical authority about fasting may not be interpreting the answer in a way that protects their health or may not be sharing enough information in their question to receive a personalized answer.
If you were told to fast unless you started to feel unwell, you may find it difficult to figure out at what point you are considered “unwell”, especially if your baseline looks like someone else’s version of “unwell”. Many people with chronic health conditions hold themselves to high standards and are fundamentally overachievers, even when the output of those traits still looks like less than the standards that they had when they were healthy. One of the places this can show up is in managing rabbinical advice over customs like fasting.
You might see yourself rightfully as capable, but you might be struggling to listen to the cues that your body sends when you push yourself too far. Or you may have been high functioning with serious health obstacles for so long, that the relationship with your body and personal limits is starting to suffer. You may choose to continue fasting past the point of your obligation, because it can be hard to identify that you do indeed feel “unwell” or that your body is beginning to warn you that you are pushing yourself towards feeling unwell.
Chronic Illness can over time make it difficult to tune in to meeting our own needs. This might seem like a contradiction because there are so many times that an illness demands to have its needs met, and the times when we can push past our own needs can feel like taking back control. However, the needs of a chronic illness are not the same as your needs, and pushing past your own needs when you can is not the same thing as meeting your needs.
There is a saying that if we don’t listen to our bodies' cues when they whisper, they will be forced to shout. Or alternatively, if we only meet our needs for rest and care when we are forced to, our body learns that it is only in a collapse that our needs will be met. Over time this can cause harm to our health goals. This “push and crash” cycle is not the only way to manage living with a chronic illness while still holding on to your own emotional needs and identity.
On the other hand, living in fear of activities that may trigger a flare, without first learning to identify what our bodies really need from us, can lead to living a much more restricted life than necessary and overall bring out more negative experiences.
This balance isn’t easy to learn and learning this balance is part of the emotional work of managing a chronic illness and of learning to thrive in the circumstances that you were given.
If you fasted only to then end up in a symptom flare, this is not a rabbinical assessment of your obligation. This is a gentle request to share this information with your rabbinical authority the next time you ask about fasting and to take this moment as an opportunity to realize that you may have more to learn about listening to your body and managing your needs before you crash. You can learn to thrive in ways that don’t feel like a recurring “push and crash” cycle and you deserve to find that ability to thrive while still caring for yourself both emotionally and physically.
If you are looking for support in strengthening your relationship to your body’s cues and other emotional tasks of managing a chronic health condition, please reach out and we can find a time to connect. I know that it can be difficult to find emotional support from someone who understands chronic illness and I would be honored to walk alongside you in your journey.
To Reach Out:
Rivka Benklifa, Therapist
Email: [email protected]
Phone/Whatsapp: 058-627-2894
-Bio-
Rivka is a clinical social worker who helps people reconnect to themselves, their identity and their confidence while navigating life’s biggest challenges.
She specializes in working with people living with chronic illness and those navigating identity changing experiences, including moving to a new country, exploring or changing their relationship with religion, and life-stage transitions.
She received her Master’s of Social Work from Yeshiva University’s Wurzweiler School of Social Work. She has completed additional training in trauma informed care, evidence based therapeutic approaches, and chronic illness support. She has professional experience with a variety of populations in the mental health field as well as many years of experience with the chronic illness community.
