04/08/2026
Sleepovers. One of the most controversial topics I post about. For many families theyâre a childhood tradition. For others, theyâre a hard no.
This week, an Irish court sentenced a father after he drugged his daughter and her friends during a sleepover before ra**ng one of the girls. Itâs a horrifying reminder that the greatest danger to a child isnât always a stranger. Sometimes itâs an adult everyone trusted.
And this by far isnât an isolated case.
In Oregon, USA, a father laced mango smoothies with prescription sedatives before giving them to his 12-year-old daughter and her friends during a sleepover. According to court evidence, one of the girls fought to stay awake long enough to send her mother a desperate text just before 2 a.m.:
âMom please pick me up and say I had a family emergency. I donât feel safe. I might not respond but please come get me. Please. Please pick up. Please. Please!!â
That message saved the girls from a possible lifetime nightmare. But the risks donât end with adults.
In Western Australia, parents left children at a sleepover believing they would be supervised by the host parents. Instead, without informing the childrenâs parents, the hosts arranged for a babysitter they had found through Facebook. That babysitter Jareth Harries-Markham pleaded guilty to more than 140 charges. The victims, some of them sisters, were aged between 8 months and 9 years. The childrenâs parents had no idea another adult would be looking after their children that night.
It is another devastating reminder that parents should never assume the adults they expect to be supervising their child will be the only adults present. Ask who will be in the home, whether anyone else will be caring for the children at any stage, and whether your child could be left alone with another adult or older child.
Child-on-child s*xual abuse is also a significant concern. It can involve cousins, older siblings in the host family, friends of friends, or other children staying overnight. Parents often focus on the adults in the home while overlooking the risks posed by unsupervised access between children.
Predators unfortunately donât wear warning labels. They build trust. They appear friendly, respected and âsafe.â Thatâs how many gain access to children. No different than Hamish Tait in the centres.
If your child does attend a sleepover, have a family safety word or phrase known only to you and your child. If they ever text or say that word, it means one thing: you immediately go and collect themâno questions asked, no punishment, no lectures. Leave first. Talk later. Your child should know they never need to explain why they want to come home.
Just because you as a child had fun experiences at sleepovers doesnât mean your child will. Every parent has to make their own decision about sleepovers, but ask yourself:
⢠Do I really know every adult in that home?
⢠Who else will be there overnight?
⢠Are there older siblings, cousins or other children staying?
⢠Will the children be appropriately supervised?
⢠Does my child know they can call or text me at any time, for any reason, without getting into trouble?
⢠Have we talked openly about body safety, consent, secrets and trusting their instincts?
Child safety isnât about living in fear. Itâs about recognising that trust should never replace vigilance. One conversation today could prevent a lifetime of trauma tomorrow.
Do you allow your children to have sleepovers at other peopleâs homes? If yes, what safety rules do you have in place? If not, what made you decide against them?
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