22/09/2026
KALONZO MUSYOKA AND THE COLONIAL HYPOCRISY OF UKOMBOZI COALITION:
You Cannot Teach an Old Dog New Tricks
Stephen Kalonzo Musyoka was born on 24 December 1953. In June 1989 he was thirty-five and already Deputy Speaker of a one-party House.
He moved that the Nation group be thrown out of the press gallery for good. He called the paper anti-KANU, subversive and tribalist. The corrupt Parliament as was then, and as it is now, agreed.
For months the country’s largest daily could not report what was said in the room that made the law. Critics of that state were jailed, beaten or flown out. Kalonzo was not a rebel in the gallery. He was the man holding the paper up for the cameras.
The motion was 28 June 1989. By then he was a Moi minister - Foreign Affairs through the 1990s, then Education. The function was the same: keep the House in line and keep the press afraid. You cannot teach an old dog new tricks. You can only teach it a new slogan.
KANU’s 1990s method was not debate: it was sedition law, a 1989 motion by Deputy Speaker Kalonzo Musyoka that locked the Nation out of Parliament, bans on Nairobi Law Monthly and a stack of other titles, State House phone-calls that killed Saba Saba copy, a party paper and KBC that spoke for the president, Special Branch visits, and licences denied to anyone judged hostile.
That toolkit did not die with Moi. It changed platform.
William Ruto’s NIS/DCI killer goons now hunt bloggers - the people who do the job the old gallery used to do - with Subarus and Tiguains, arrested and charged by the corrupt Martha Koome judiciary or killed in police cells, all sanctioned by donors and diplomats, the same colonial instruction that a colony must not hear itself speak if cartels are to keep the licences, the fuel contracts and the debt.
Suppression was never about manners. It was about who stays rich while the country stays quiet.
Today, Azimio becomes Ukombozi. “Liberation”, they say, in Kalonzo Musyoka’s sunset years. He is 72. The word is a costume change, not a conversion. The same politician who helped lock the press out of Parliament now wants to be sold as the man who will open the country.
Performative virtue is the oldest trick in a colonial toolkit: campaign as a shepherd, govern as the wolf. Donald Trump and Barack Obama both promised they would not drag the republic into the next war. Both waged a genocide.
Kenyan principals promise liberation and then sign the next WorldBank/IMF loan facility for non-existent projects, protect the next monopoly, and ask the public to wait.
Kalonzo served Moi’s KANU, Kibaki’s cabinet, the handshake years and the Azimio letterhead. Each phase came with a moral upgrade. None of them retired the method.
A name-change is cheap. A record is not. If Ukombozi requires you to forget the Deputy Speaker with the Nation in his fist, the product is not liberation. It is amnesia with a logo.
Do not buy it. Do not be like the generation of old useless bastards (Boomers, Gen X and late-stage Millennials), do not be like religious degenerates, Kameme/Inooro idiots, peasants, slum-dwellers and rural-bred retards who buy such antics, suspend common sense, and re-elect the very politicians who’ve condemned the nation to poverty, strife and colonial subjugation.
The dog is the same dog. The trick is the same trick. Only the collar has been polished.
