05/11/2025
1/4/25
Dear Sarah,
You ever just have one of those blah days? You know, when nothing's really going on to put you in a blah mood but you just feel blah anyway? That's been today. Like we watched a movie today, I played cards and just hung out with the guys but all day my head and heart just weren't in it. I have no idea what's going on. It's probably just a little bipolar peakin' through. I did talk with a homie for about an hour today about you and Jason. I was almost crying, like holding back with everything to not, when I started talking about the day I decided I would do whatever it takes to get out. Including this treatment. That day was Jason's birthday. I remember how it felt writing his birthday card. I remember how it felt to not be able to see him, how it felt to be helpless, not knowing if you were ok. To feel like I couldn't do anything because I couldn't. And it was my actions that put you and me both in that situation. Never will I do anything to let something like that happen again. And I think THAT'S what's weighing on my heart.
I miss you,
John ❤️