COPD - Celina Organized Police Department

08/31/2026

COPD provided on-site security this afternoon while Celina Public Works fulfilled the request of a large business to destroy a smaller business as the result of copyright infringement. We take intellectual property theft seriously, and will act swiftly to uphold the law as necessary.

08/31/2026

PRESS RELEASE - COPD BANS GRAND THEFT AUTO VI FROM CELINA

08/26/2026

Deputy Hardin here. With Weaber Valley High School in session, I took the opportunity to show incoming seniors the consequences of bad grades. Today, the seniors that flunked last year are boarding the bus that will take them to basic training at Fort Knox in Kentucky. There, they will become soldiers for the United States Army and will likely be deployed in the upcoming third world war.

Students are reminded to retain a satisfactory 2.4 GPA to avoid compulsory service, though last year almost half the grade flunked. Nonetheless, we will be monitoring this academic year as we have in the past on behalf of the Department of Defense. Study hard!

08/25/2026

Celina Organized Police Department will be taking the remainder of the day off to mourn the loss of Dolly Parton, Tennessee's greatest hero. All criminals are ordered to cease activity as well. Rest in Peace to a real one.

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08/25/2026

We have authorized installation of advanced surveillance technology, including Flock LPR cameras and high-definition video monitoring, at Gunther’s Guns. This intelligence-led policing initiative creates a non-intrusive surveillance network designed for the proactive monitoring of pre-identified persons of interest and individuals associated with organized criminal activity. This proactive measure provides real-time situational awareness, allowing our department to allocate resources more efficiently, reduce local crime, and provide actionable evidence. All individuals shopping at Gunther's Guns are considered guilty until proven innocent.

08/24/2026

LOCAL BUSINESS SPOTLIGHT: Residents concerned with meat shortages need no longer worry as UNCLE NED'S GAME FARM provides natural wild-raised premium skunk, raccoon, vole, and possum meat. Our officers regularly hunt on these grounds and enjoy the conservation minded mentality Ned's provides.

08/22/2026

The Celina Organized Police Department would like the public's assistance with identifying the suspect in this photo.

The incident occurred at the Celina Walmart.

An individual dropped a quarter (25 cents) on the ground while shopping. This individual picked up the money and did not turn it into the employees.

Anyone with information that may assist with identifying this individual is asked to contact the Celina Organized Police Department at 931-313-6045.

08/21/2026

We encourage residents to demonstrate their confidence in our officers' ability to maintain order by betting big on our department's success with Kalshi. You not only stand to benefit personally but also contribute to a stronger, more resilient Celina. This visible show of public investment in our mission helps to deter crime, build trust, and demonstrates a collective commitment to making our town a better place to live for everyone.

08/19/2026

COPD is proud to announce a community outreach initiative aimed at curbing substance abuse among local teenagers with the official appointment of "Methadone Man" as Senior Drug Prevention Counselor for Celina Youth. Leveraging decades of hands-on field experience in chronic panhandling, low-level property theft, and active illicit substance consumption, Methadone Man brings an unprecedented, real-world perspective to youth mentorship.

We want to emphasize that his current, ongoing battle with active chemical dependency provides a uniquely authentic framework for local students, ensuring that his preventative lessons carry a gritty, unvarnished realism.

08/19/2026

Officer Ton Douglas will be coaching Weaber Valley High School's football team this fall and has already whipped together a formidable team. The Fightin' Poors won their first pre-season scrimmage last evening, and celebrated by dumping hot Campbell's Chunky soup on Ton. Our partners at the NLF have hooked us up with a branding deal with Campbell's and we couldn't be more grateful!