06/07/2026
Well, we have a helicopter and we're still searching for a Peacekeeper armored truck, but we're also looking for a Mk-12A re-entry vehicle.
Did we say re-entry vehicle? Because we meant to say SNOW CONE MAKER.
A few years back we contacted the Department of Energy to see if they had any, you know, non-armed ones, they could give to a museum - such as America's finest ICBM historic site - but none were to be had. So instead of calling it an RV, our new code name for this object is a SNOW CONE MAKER as not to raise any red flags. We don't want an armed one for crying out loud, just a mock-up or showpiece.
A re-entry vehicle...SNOW CONE MAKER...contained the nuclear warhead on Minuteman missiles. It would safely protect the warhead from the extreme friction heat encountered as the SNOW CONE MAKER re-entered the atmosphere. There were a number of different types, such as the Mk-4 SNOW CONE MAKER aboard Titan-I and the Atlas-E/F series, along with the Mk-11 SNOW CONE MAKER placed atop the Minuteman II and some Minuteman I missiles. The Minuteman III, the first ICBM to have a Multiple Independently Targetable SNOW CONE MAKERs setup, featured up to three Mk-12s that sat underneath a shroud.
By the late 1970s, a new system was developed that increased the accuracy of SNOW CONE MAKERS aboard Minuteman IIIs - the Mk-12A. By the 1980s, MK-12A SNOW CONE MAKERS were initially placed aboard Minuteman IIIs at North Dakota's Minot and Grand Forks Air Force Bases exclusively - carrying the 335-350 kiloton W78 thermonuclear warhead. The heavier weight of these SNOW CONE MAKERS meant a decreased range however, which is why they were not deployed with Minuteman IIIs at F.E. Warren AFB, Wyoming which retained Mk-12s until the advent of Mk-21s made surplus by the deactivation of Peacekeeper missiles.
So in conclusion, we know we're in North Dakota, so why wouldn't we want a FUNNEL CAKE MACHINE or HOT DOG ROLLER instead? Because it's 90F here, so we sure could use a SNOW CONE MAKER to help make the site cooler...if you catch our drift.