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THE STORY OF THE EARTH.
By Betsy DeVos
😎🖖 All Hail the Name of Jesus!!! 🙏🙏🙏 Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SuperGod! 💪
Yes. It's SuperGod 💪, strange visitor from another dimension who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. SuperGodJr 💪, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Jesus Christ 😇, mild mannered sky reporter 🚁 for the great metropolis of Bethlehem, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the “American Way.” 🇺🇲️
The Bible said SuperGod 💪 ripped out one of Adam's ribs, then shouted 'ABRACADABRA!' and the rib turned into a human. Adam then married his own rib and marriage was defined as a man and his own rib 💕. And then the rib couldn't stop talking so Adam went to his man-cave for some peace and quiet, thus creating the first caveman. 👣
Then the Bible said Moses had a wooden stick turn into a living snake 🐍. After it was over, he put the magic wood ✏️ in the Ark of the Covenant and saved it for later. Geppetto was able to carve Pinocchio 🤥 with the magic wood ✏️. Biblical archaeologists are able to show that Geppetto and Pinocchio survived in the belly of a great fish 🐳 thereby confirming, according to Biblical scholars, the Bible is true. 👨🎓💻
The Bible said Yahweh's rocket ship 🚀 sped through star-studded space, entered Mary 👩❤️💋👨 landing safely on Earth 🌍 with its precious burden: Yahweh's sole survivor, Jesus Christ. 🌞
A passing Joseph 🤨 found the uninjured child and took SuperGodJr 😇 home and then didn't have s*x with Mary 🙅♀️. As the years ⏳ went by and the child grew to maturity, he found himself possessed of amazing physical 🏋️♂️and mental powers 🧝♂️. Faster than a speeding bullet 🚼, more powerful than a locomotive 🚂, able to leap tall buildings 🏨 in a single bound. 🏅
The infant 🤱 of Yahweh is now the Man of Steel: SuperGodJr 💪! To best be in a position to use his amazing powers 🧞♂️in a never-ending battle for truth and justice 🕴️🤺, SuperGodJr 😇 has assumed the disguise of Jesus Christ 🎅, mild-mannered sky reporter 👀 for the great American busybody and town gossip 😱 associations. 🛸
At these meetings people love to give away their money 💳📈 to hear these Bronze Age ⛺ stories in the 21st Century 🌃. If a person believes all of these stories that person can respawn into eternal 🌈 bliss, for a weekly donation of course. 🤑
It is a PROVEN FACT that the night before his cruci-fiction, Jesus was in the garden praying , "Dad, DAD! Do you hear me? Wake-up! It's Me - You, Jesus! What are you doing? I need to catch up on the latest gossip. Are you still helping people find their oxcart keys?" ✍️
The Bible is TRUE because the Bible SAID it’s TRUE and the Bible SAID it can’t LIE so that MAKES it a PROVEN FACT!!! 😲
Why do these ‘non-believers’ deny these PROVEN FACTS 🕵️♂️? It's as plain as the nose on Pinocchio's 🤥 face. These ‘non-believers’ are in serious denial of this reality. That’s why the Bible’s authors wrote ✏️SuperGodSr is Three 🤥🤥🤥 Pinocchios in One carved 🤥 Pinocchio.
These ‘non-believers’ need to WAKE UP!!! 😱 I pray the Holy Ghost 👻will convince them BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! ☠️😈🔥
