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THE STORY OF THE EARTH.
By Betsy DeVos
ππ All Hail the Name of Jesus!!! πππ Look, up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! It's SuperGod! πͺ
Yes. It's SuperGod πͺ, strange visitor from another dimension who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. SuperGodJr πͺ, who can change the course of mighty rivers, bend steel with his bare hands, and who, disguised as Jesus Christ π, mild mannered sky reporter π for the great metropolis of Bethlehem, fights a never-ending battle for truth, justice and the βAmerican Way.β πΊπ²οΈ
The Bible said SuperGod πͺ ripped out one of Adam's ribs, then shouted 'ABRACADABRA!' and the rib turned into a human. Adam then married his own rib and marriage was defined as a man and his own rib π. And then the rib couldn't stop talking so Adam went to his man-cave for some peace and quiet, thus creating the first caveman. π£
Then the Bible said Moses had a wooden stick turn into a living snake π. After it was over, he put the magic wood βοΈ in the Ark of the Covenant and saved it for later. Geppetto was able to carve Pinocchio π€₯ with the magic wood βοΈ. Biblical archaeologists are able to show that Geppetto and Pinocchio survived in the belly of a great fish π³ thereby confirming, according to Biblical scholars, the Bible is true. π¨βππ»
The Bible said Yahweh's rocket ship π sped through star-studded space, entered Mary π©ββ€οΈβπβπ¨ landing safely on Earth π with its precious burden: Yahweh's sole survivor, Jesus Christ. π
A passing Joseph π€¨ found the uninjured child and took SuperGodJr π home and then didn't have sex with Mary π
ββοΈ. As the years β³ went by and the child grew to maturity, he found himself possessed of amazing physical ποΈββοΈand mental powers π§ββοΈ. Faster than a speeding bullet πΌ, more powerful than a locomotive π, able to leap tall buildings π¨ in a single bound. π
The infant π€± of Yahweh is now the Man of Steel: SuperGodJr πͺ! To best be in a position to use his amazing powers π§ββοΈin a never-ending battle for truth and justice π΄οΈπ€Ί, SuperGodJr π has assumed the disguise of Jesus Christ π
, mild-mannered sky reporter π for the great American busybody and town gossip π± associations. πΈ
At these meetings people love to give away their money π³π to hear these Bronze Age βΊ stories in the 21st Century π. If a person believes all of these stories that person can respawn into eternal π bliss, for a weekly donation of course. π€
It is a PROVEN FACT that the night before his cruci-fiction, Jesus was in the garden praying , "Dad, DAD! Do you hear me? Wake-up! It's Me - You, Jesus! What are you doing? I need to catch up on the latest gossip. Are you still helping people find their oxcart keys?" βοΈ
The Bible is TRUE because the Bible SAID itβs TRUE and the Bible SAID it canβt LIE so that MAKES it a PROVEN FACT!!! π²
Why do these βnon-believersβ deny these PROVEN FACTS π΅οΈββοΈ? It's as plain as the nose on Pinocchio's π€₯ face. These βnon-believersβ are in serious denial of this reality. Thatβs why the Bibleβs authors wrote βοΈSuperGodSr is Three π€₯π€₯π€₯ Pinocchios in One carved π€₯ Pinocchio.
These βnon-believersβ need to WAKE UP!!! π± I pray the Holy Ghost π»will convince them BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!! β οΈππ₯