05/30/2026
This applies no matter which trail (or anywhere else for that matter) you are on.
ALPINE DIVORCE...HAVE YOU HEARD OF IT? IT'S REAL AND WAY TOO COMMON ON HIKING TRAILS.
The term "Alpine Divorce" comes from a dark short story about a Man and his Wife in the Alps. The Man planned to murder his wife on a weekend trip and blame it on an accident. Little did he know that his Wife had plans of her own. She knew what he was up to and told her friends back home that her husband planned to murder her. When they came to a cliff where he had planned to murder her. She told him how she had already framed him for her murder and then jumped off the cliff on her own...two other hikers had come around the corner just after and the man knew immediately that nobody would ever believe his story and he was doomed.
"Alpine Divorce" has more recently been used to describe when a hiking partner abandons the person they are hiking with because they are moving too slow, injured, or they just aren't getting along. Usually, it's a male who abandons a female and they usually are in a relationship. I see it quite a bit on trail. Since, I don't camp at shelters and prefer to set up in stealth spots along the trail, there a plenty of conversations I hear while sitting in my tent from hikers who are walking along thinking that nobody else can hear them...and many times, it's listening to some guy blasting his girlfriend for moving too slow. In this particular spot, I had already been awake and was taking my time to pack up and just enjoying the morning when I heard yelling and crying coming from around the corner. Lots of F Words and Angry Words coming from some Soy Boy yelling at his girlfriend. He was yelling and cursing about how fast she was moving and threatening to leave her behind and make her hike alone. She was obviously in distress over this and she was literally crying. This was going on for a while before they got to where I was camped and saw me...and then, like the tough guy he is...He stopped mid sentence in the middle of berating her, the moment he saw me and tried to walk past unscathed, hoping I didn't hear what was going on. I don't say much to people when Im in the woods and I don't get involved in other people's issues but, this one needed a reminder....So, I asked him "Dude, WTF is wrong with you?"...he tried to talk but, I kept going. "Shut up! You don't talk to people like that...she's doing the best she can"...He apologized to me and kept walking. Not to her, but to me. Go figure. As she came up, I asked her if she was Ok and she was crying. She said she was and it was OK... I reminded her that it wasn't OK and if she needed help, just say the word... The common "Oh No, I'm Ok" was a response and she kept going along after him...
Let me be clear. It is Not OK!. If someone is abusing you on a hike, turn around, walk away, and get help. There's plenty of us out here that will be more than happy to help you get out of the woods or get to the next place for you to camp and enjoy your hike.
Abandoning a hiker because they aren't moving fast enough is absolutely wrong. You're responsible for the safety of the people you hike with. Especially if you are a stronger hiker. If hiking is too difficult for you and this is how you react, then you should either hike alone or you should stay home and live in the miserable life that turns you into a monster when obstacles present themselves.
Take this advice to heart...DON'T EVER LET ANYONE MISTREAT YOU. WHETHER YOU'RE ON A HIKING TRAIL OR ANYWHERE ELSE.
ONWARD! ❤️
