Neo Virginia

Neo Virginia Virginia post Ultra WWIII Neo Civil War Cyberpocalypse
(1)

08/08/2020

little italy? oh you mean the boot sector?

08/04/2020

life is a permanent downhill slope but you can still angle yourself up til you're doin a really sick wheelie

07/30/2020

Heard theres a gap in th' geometry somewheres in Sector 84,127 where if ya lonch yer DataNet F.E.G. right at it at just the right vector, ya can glitch yerself onto th' moon and finally reset th' moon clock. Its been blinking 12:00 ever since th' Outage of '186, TNGR rest the souls who was defragged out their mortal coil, but we need ta tell th' time o' night more than we need a Random Access Memorial! Course my own brother is a Datasharatzi so it wudden all bad, har har

06/22/2020

I remember the good ol' days back when the Demokratia Popola Respubliko 하리손부그 usedta secretly inject viruses inta the DNA a' CorpoHogs so's that when the sandwich factory bots scanned th' slices a' ham on the 'ssembly line it'd spit rite back out a bit of code ta every bot in the dam place at once an force em to unionize! hah, the NuNeoLibs hated that trick, but these days them folk in tha DPRH jus keep te emselves

05/16/2020

Sector 12: Williamsburg Blvd ("Where The Framptons Of The Past Come Alive") is operating with limited throughput following another god damn SubMetro fire. 'Sumers are advised as we enter MegaSummer that any asbestos must fit in a 3 oz see thru container.

03/25/2020

So we handed the guy a pair of tongs and wouldntcha know it, he didn't give em a little test click first. Just gave himself away as a replicant just like that! Like cmon fukr, have some personal pride if you're gonna grift a guys hot dog cart dot biz!

03/08/2020

Look I don’t care how many of those rad infested “mute-galz” are outside threating to vomit waste on the support beams; I worked hard to turn NeuroArlingtonia into what it is and im not about to leave just cause some glowing goop girls found out i poisoned all the dirt. It’s f**king dirt! Not TOBAKS! Who cares!

02/10/2020

IMPORTANT BULLETIN FROM THE RAPPAHANOCK 'CRETE GUARDIANS:
Be on the look out for gang activity near blownt out buildin gs;the Rebar boiz are back swingin their arms and "thievin those 'bars"; don't engage unless you also have forcefully modified your limbs with pressed steel and/or have a degree in psybermagnetics. THIS MESSAGE WILL REPEAT

02/01/2020

Be like water? You mean fulla lead?

03/04/2019

All the world is turning 'round awash in sickly sweet light, en lux aespartame if ya catch me!

01/04/2019

hey boiyo did you hear bout the fortune teller out on pim-it hill? heard word is, she's UnDeCeIVed. Meditates so hard every night she goes into a trance and has prophetic visions for 8 horas straight. Wanna go ask her when we gonna die?

10/05/2018

aw HELL yea frendidors, summer's gone, the air's coolin' off and it's finally gettin below 90 deg-eff before noon, you know what that means - time for repairs on the two-story box fans that are sposedta get rid of the body odor of this disgusting overpopped city. i heard a buncha chipheads got turned around during that solar flare few months ago and wandered through the fan over by Gleebandlee, now that whole block smells like pork rinds. bust outcher CyberMops, boiyos, it's go-time.

09/24/2018

BeLIEVE me, nothin' I want more than ta help ya out, but you can't use yer fukked up tekno-psycho-mantical spells ta cook falafels AND paella AND serve five customers at th' same time, kiddo. Darn near tipped the entire McTruck over. What kinna questionable operation dya think I got here, runnin' a kitchen out a semi trailer? I have a reputation ta keep sh*tty!

09/21/2018

Don't pop your top! Always disenable your CytoDrive from regulating your blood pressure BEFORE overclocking it!

08/30/2018

There used ta be a statue in the fountain at Grand Mall, oh there used ta be, and what a wonderful statue it were! Twelve angels of the war firing arcs on trembling NorFed soldiers. But now there's only a bare pipe like a broken bone, and the water that flows is chalk fulla benzoates cuzza all the scuzzheads sitting around swilling dew spitting it in the basin.

08/29/2018

look yer gonna wanna take that disk to the drop spot, cavas? no questions chumpo. yeahyeah i know it looks like a blue-ray disk, but see, it's got a second groove on it that'll only be seen with a red laser. the NuCops'll think it's just a stolen movie and our fella who's got an old CD drive in his face should get at lethal_sandwich_ideas.zip just fine

08/27/2018

the steel is willing but the flesh is weak - today is the day you might become a cyborg

08/08/2018

"The SwampFukkers of NeoNewNorfolk are matched in their alien, mutilated dialect only by the red-stained Bog-Tajeeks who are said to wade waistdeep in the Crambry Glaze their whole lives. Through accumulated genemods, they secrete a simply insane amount of mucus as a protective coating from the acidity of the bogwater, as well as making them resistant to most disease and flame. However by the same token their vocalizations are unbelievably deformed and gunked up."
- Neo Virginia Journal of Anthropology

07/12/2018

Be CAREFUL 'round Mnassas, ya freakin fool. The Udvars and the Hazys been feudin fer generations and there ain't no indication they'll be stoppin til one or the other's down to the last man. So jes watch yerself! Whichever ones are occupyin the hangar right this instant, they're takin potshots out the windows of that cruddy ol' ancient scuzzed out space shuttle an they DO NOT care who they hit!

07/08/2018

We only feed cyborgs into the thresher cuz legally we don't gotta say our products are made of people if they were more than 50% machine by weight

07/03/2018

no, no, it's not irradiation, we're just tanning your skeleton. you'll have this nice healthy glow in only a few treatments

06/08/2018

Thank you for consuming at Burger Crossing, would you like a free refill season pass?

06/02/2018

I been a biotech silkwurm farmer all's my life an' my father 'afore me and his father 'afore him. My family's bin modifyin' the jee-netic code a these hur wurms fer six gener8shns, now seein' where yer standin' i'm like ta assume yer after my granpappi's synetheticised dekstr-o-amphaytameen manufacturin' wurms, an if'n ye don't go on an' git outta my mullburry patch withintha next 10 cycles then i got here a slingshot fulla wurms modded fulla Botox™ and broken glass pinned on yer dome

04/25/2018

Please ensure you are carrying no more than 3 ounces of hope in a clear plastic container before passing through the security checkpoint gates. Welcome to Hell - Neo Virginia!

04/22/2018

i can't seen whasso rebel about wear'n a jacket covered in metal, frende, on its own ennaway. them generals of the cybernetic war did that by Factry standard, and they was stablishmint as it can gets! seen by inspector 8 and all! ya gotta spice it up, surely sabes ya know that. lemme get th nail gun, gonna abso trash this jacket til they can't call it cloth.

04/21/2018

yes, it may LOOK like we're just chunking bits of concrete addy-chuzzer for massive harm, but it's actually called Surface To Surface Manual Bombiardment. people use to do this with ice all the time, yannO!

04/19/2018

Gas masks are mandatory in Ashtray Hite, where the smog collects because of how nastily the hostile architecture f**ks with the wind patterns. When the weather turns quickly enough, it's common for smog cyclones to form. Citizens of Ashtray Hite often paint their gas masks with prayers to the ancient wind god Norfo-Graummond that they might be spared.

04/10/2018

Dammit, got a black chopper on our tail. Musta mistaken our e-lectric caravan for a car chase. Aww, we'll be all over Neo Virginia's Funniest Videos by sunset with corny circus music dubbed in, dammit! That is NOT how I want to be remembered!

03/29/2018

They built the machines around us to make our lives easier, so I easily built my life around making the machines worse. F**k your MSG on tap, f**k your direct amygdala-stimulatrix. Don't flip a bit! If I'm goin' down swingin' it's to make life something worth struggling for.

03/14/2018

Look feller I denno what kind a halfbaked cronjob you've got cookin in yer CytoDrive Mk III but I ken tell yer this, the way yer acting is genna get us both doublekilled. That's right, feller, garbage collection. We'll be fragged and defragged til kingdom ROM and ain't nobody won't come to eject us. The guardian angel's execution pointer surely is comin' our way with all these flags yer throwin'. So jes' lay low! The DataNet is a playground, but it's the kind a playground with rusty ol monkeybars and algae grow'n in the fountains!

03/08/2018

I can always find the way home, this shrapnel in my brain from when i was fryin' up those motherboards is magnetized to the exact geolocation of my rooftop sleephovel

03/06/2018

Them boiiyos there swilling whey at the bar is from the Found Sons a Liberdad. Defectors from the NorFed. They got a strangehold on the local copper trade and it's made em cocky as hell. See, you can always pick em outta the crowd cuz their armor's turned bright green. Flagrant high-rez displays of wealth like that are a real big game wif the novo ritch, even if copper armor ain't worth sh*t as armor itself.

02/28/2018

Aw damn, here it goes again. Wouldja believe me iffen I toldja the MegaCity じえそゆ TASforce jus' barreled through my front alley barking all sortsa MIDI guitar noises at each other while chasing some hapless urbscribe? Looks like Breasla Scriitorilor ain't cracked the new RaidPhreak tones yet. Man that poor neophyte was bookin' it like a fool at the track, dropped all his paint and everything. But ain't no manholes to vanish down round here... He's gonna have his cheek fused to the pavement inside a hot minute.

02/27/2018

The latest wave of synthulated personality comstructs are so advanced they can privately wish they were famous electronica singers instead of working as 24hr wage slaves in the sweaty confines of telesurvey eFactories. The bleeding edge prototype models even got the ability to regret droppin' out, thanks to the false memories we give 'em to make 'em talk more lifelike.

02/26/2018

major breakthru: some idjit has irected a pycrete barrier in the dead middle of the hyperspeedway's dedicaded fast food lane. we repeat, summun's gonna have to majorly break-thru it, cuz that traffic jam is seriously throttalin' the bandwidth of this Zone!

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6751 Wilson Blvd
Falls Church, VA
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