Christian Married Couples

Christian Married Couples This is a ministry for Christian married and engaged couples. We want to share God's plan for marriage; and fun local/nation-wide events,and resources.

09/01/2026

Relational Reset: Unlearning the Habits that Hold You Back by Dr. Laurel Shaler - Day 3

Read Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, Romans 12:2, and 1 Peter 4:8

Overcome Offenses

Much like forgiveness is a choice, not being easily offended is also a choice. Ecclesiastes 7:21–22 says: “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you—for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.”

Don’t look to be offended or else you’ll find it. If you are constantly listening in on what others are saying, then you are likely to hear them say things about you that you don’t like—or you may just think they’re talking about you. In other words, if you are looking to be offended, you’ll take offense. If you think your friend has intentionally left you out when she thanked all her “besties” on Facebook, guess what? You are going to be offended! As you scroll through your Facebook or Twitter [X] feed, you just know your friend is talking about your posts when she says she is “sick and tired of seeing x, y, z on Facebook,” and you get offended.

Or maybe you’re walking past your coworker’s closed door, and you hear her talking to someone else in hushed whispers. You decide she must be talking about you. You start to feel really annoyed with her and find yourself giving her the cold shoulder when you run into her at church or the community pool. In these scenarios, you have no good reason to be offended because you don’t know what your Facebook friends are talking about or what your coworker was saying. If you aren’t looking for hidden meanings in people’s words and actions, you’ll be far less likely to find things that hurt you.

Show grace to those who offend you, knowing you have also been shown grace in the past. The reality is that we have all said things about others that we shouldn’t have said. We have all put other people down. It’s important to remember this lest we become self- righteous—too big for our britches, as we say in the South. For example, it’s likely you’ve posted something on Facebook that has offended someone. I can practically guarantee it. Instead of being offended by someone’s words or actions, choose to extend grace.

08/31/2026

Relational Reset: Unlearning the Habits that Hold You Back by Dr. Laurel Shaler - Day 2

Read Proverbs 16:9, Isaiah 61:3, and Luke 6:31

Deal with Disappointment

When it comes to having realistic expectations of others, I can think of no better role model than Jesus. He was no stranger to disappointment. Even His closest circle of friends, His disciples— family, really—did not always demonstrate belief or faith in Him.

The disciples fell asleep numerous times while Jesus prayed in the garden of Gethsemane despite being asked by Jesus to watch and pray. Three times Jesus asked, and three times His disciples failed Him.

Judas betrayed Him. Oh, how Judas betrayed Him.

Peter denied Him. Not once. Not twice. But three times. And this was after Jesus had told Peter that he would, and Peter said, “No way. Not me. Not ever.” But he did.

Thomas doubted Him. He saw the resurrected Jesus face to face, yet refused to believe He was really the Christ until he saw the nail marks in His hands and the wound in His side where He had been speared.

Jesus knew exactly what His disciples would do. He understood that they were human and therefore, sinners. He knew that because of sin, they would disappoint others, including Him. Not only did He know that the disciples would disappoint Him, He even knew what their actions would be long before they did. But Jesus never pulled back or tried to retaliate. He loved and accepted the disciples despite their hurtful actions toward Him. He accepted that they were merely human, and that they couldn’t be perfect.

All of us can benefit from having this expectation: people will disappoint us. Friends will disappoint us. Family will disappoint us. Fellow church members, neighbors, employers, colleagues . . . they will all disappoint us. We’ll disappoint others too. If we’re not careful, we’ll expect perfection from others. If so, when disappointment comes, it can crush us and our relationships. The Lord knows we don’t want anyone expecting us to be perfect, so we shouldn’t expect that from others either.

08/30/2026

Relational Reset: Unlearning the Habits That Hold You Back by Dr. Laurel Shaler - Day 1

Read Psalms 139:14, Romans 8:31, 1 Corinthians 15:10, Hebrews 10:10, and 1 John 3:1

Silence Insecurity

It’s easy to fall into the trap of doing what others desire of us rather than what God demands. This is particularly true when we are insecure in our relationships. In Galatians 1:10, Paul writes, “Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people?” Notice how he emphasizes the question by asking it twice. Who am I trying to please? Maybe I want my boss to notice me so I get the promotion (or at least keep my job), so I agree to doing something I know is unethical. Perhaps I don’t want to lose a friend, so I verbally agree with her on everything, even when I don’t agree in my heart. To be concerned about careers, friendships, or anything more than God is to replace God with an idol. And it does nothing for relationships, because people- pleasing simply can’t ease insecurity.

Why do we care more about what other people think than what God thinks? Why would we want their praise over the praise of the Creator of the universe? Insecurity.

I want to be in the business of pleasing God, and the only way to do that is to place my security in Him alone. By doing so, I can be in a right relationship with Him as I work on resetting relationships with others so that they become more like what He created them to be.

Learn to be a better spouse, neighbor, and friend tomorrow when you start your Relational Reset today.

08/29/2026

Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train by Megan Wright - Day 7

Read Proverbs 3:1-8, 16:7

I lived in the Phoenix area for 15 years and when I first moved there, I couldn’t get over the 6 ft tall cement walls that were used instead of wood fences. There are no casual neighborly conversations over the walls - no bonding, no nothing. It felt symbolic of a blockade meant to keep everything out, to detach from relationships, and to stay secluded. What happened to picket fences? They are more esthetically pleasing, easy to see through and over. They allow for all the awkward smiles and connections. They allow for definition of our own yard but still allow for relationship with our neighbor. We still have to invite people inside, but we get to decide when that it is, how long they stay and when it’s time for everyone to leave.

People envision boundaries as cement walls but really, they are like Picket fences.

In order to have healthy boundaries, it’s important for us to: understand our root issues so that we can have healthy boundaries within ourselves; understand the boundaries that God has set between us and him; and understand that when we set boundaries, we have to stick to them. Boundaries aren’t for other people; they are for us.

Instead of reacting in our flesh, we have to practice a pause and respond through the holy spirit (remember the fruits: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control).

And for us to grow and yield good fruit – we need deep, secure roots. And I’m not talking about the grown-out roots on our head (from your fellow blondie who needs her hair done). I’m talking about roots planted in the nourishing WORD of God - that bring life, abundance, clarity, and peace. Peace when others don’t like our boundaries, peace even when we don’t like the boundaries, peace, when we know setting a boundary, will cause disruption.

When we are allowing God to shape our relationships, we can act with boldness because of our solid foundation of truth. When we know how to love how God calls us to love within his boundaries – we can fulfill our calling on our lives with confidence and courage. We can live in PEACE when we say no to unhealthy things.

So, get off the crazy train of unhealthy relationship cycles and start building beautiful picket fences.

08/29/2026

Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train by Megan Wright - Day 6

Read Proverbs 15:1, Luke 12:11-12, Romans 12:18, Colossians 1:9-12, and Galatians 5:1

Sometimes we allow people to treat us badly because we fear how we will look if we say something, how the other person will react or how it will affect the state of the relationship. We worry if they will “be mad at us”, or if they will talk about us to other mutual family or friends. We start to question if we’re being too harsh in setting up boundaries, or unfair. Or even if we’re being “unchristian”.

Living in peace doesn’t mean that you just keep quiet and endure the pain from others.

There is a way to keep a boundary and be kind. To be firm but be a blessing. To speak truth through gentleness.

Galatians 5:1 talks about the freedom that comes through Jesus Christ that breaks the bo***ge of Slavery. Do you feel like you’re in bo***ge to unhealthy relationships?

If we have not implemented boundaries within ourselves and our actions, we aren’t ever going to live FREELY. To live freely means not according to others and their acceptance, their contingencies, and their crazy train cycles. It means living according to God’s word, to be a vessel and testimony of the power of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

Remember, YOU CAN’T FIX OTHER PEOPLE. Read that again. Setting boundaries isn’t a weapon to use against someone or some kind of control move. Others aren’t responsible for your happiness and you’re not responsible for theirs. So be prepared for them not to like your boundaries. Because just as God gives us free-will to listen to him - He gives others free-will in how they listen, how they react, and how they respond.

We need to pray for wisdom in God’s boundaries that he sets up for our protection, safety, growth, and provision. And for loving how he wants us to love and to be loved. We need to pray for wisdom to know how to communicate our boundaries effectively, wisdom to know when it’s time to back away from people and when it’s time to step toward people.

In Luke, scripture says for us not to worry about how we will defend ourselves or what we will say because the Holy Spirit will teach us in the moment. So, if we’re submitting to the Holy Spirit first, he promises to take care of the rest.

08/27/2026

Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train by Megan Wright - Day 5

Read Matthew 25:1-13 and Hebrews 12:6-11

I’ll never forget when my oldest daughter was around 7, and I walked in on her putting all of her stuffed animals in timeout because they were being disrespectful to her. That’s when you know that your discipline is sinking in. “Discipline is an external boundary, designed to develop internal boundaries in our children”, Dr. Henry Cloud.

Being taught boundaries starts when we are tiny humans. They teach us how to be responsible, how to have self-control, how to serve others, how to respect others and so much more.

And then we grow up and marry someone and realize that we need boundaries with our spouse. We can’t depend on our spouse to make us happy. We can’t heal or treat things like addiction or bad habits, and we can’t try to control their issues or healing because then we are invading the boundary between THEM and GOD. Instead, we have to seek Jesus (and professional help), we pray, and we release control.

And then we get a job and realize that we need boundaries at work – yeah, that’s a hard one. We have to learn how to set healthy expectations for ourselves on what we can control, achieve, and what we can own and be accountable for in our work - and then release control of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE else. That literally is a command. God says in Galatians 6:5: “for each one shall bear his own load”. And then he goes even further and says, “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as if working for the LORD, not for human masters.” Basically, Jesus is our Boss – he’s who we ultimately report to. He’s got the best 401k plan out there! So, we seek Jesus, we pray, and we release control.

And then we realize that all relationships need boundaries. And that’s a good thing. Because once we realize that, then we can easily recognize the Crazy trains. It allows us to choose what we engage in and what we turn away from. The arguments, the judgments, and the unhealthy cycles in others don’t stop just because we get off their train– they just keep going until they pull into someone else’s station. And when you can watch them go freely, that’s when you experience God’s peace.

08/26/2026

Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train by Megan Wright - Day 4

Read Matthew 7:15-20, Luke 3:9, John 15:1-11, and Galatians 5:22-23

Have you ever picked fresh fruit that looks amazing but when you take a bite, it’s foul because it’s rotting on the inside? Insert barf emoji. It’s kind of a good representation of unhealthy relationships – they might look like they are put together and healthy on the outside but inside they are rotting and impossible to get any nourishment from. If we are surrounded by rotting fruit, we will feel exhausted, disheartened, disappointed, drained, and discouraged.

But what if your spiritual roots were so healthy that your life was full of the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control? Scripture says that we will be known by our fruit.

There are times where we just plant the seeds and wait. And wait and wait. God says there is a time for extended grace and understanding and PATIENCE so that we give the fruit a chance to grow. A time where you might need to nurture the boundary after you plant it. A time to encourage it and offer a trellis for it to grow on. A time where you over-water it to make sure it’s not dying of thirst. A time where you give it extra supplements to give it a better chance for bloom. And even a time to cut the bad fruit out: the unhealthy conversations, the unhealthy expectations, and demands, the unhealthy people.

When we have healthy roots - when we are connected to God’s wisdom and discernment - our branches show it. Our actions show it. Our spirit shows it. Our conversations show it. Our relationships show it.

We flourish – we grow like crazy, we are FULL, God feeds others through us, we “prove to be his disciples” because we are glorifying him. We can’t bear fruit by ourselves but if we abide in the vine (God), then he will bring the fruit.

Your roots are the source of your identity, the source of your peace, and the source of your nourishment. So, they’ve got be strong, healthy, and deeply planted in good soil (the Word) so that your relationships are abundant with fruit.

08/25/2026

Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train by Megan Wright - Day 3

Read Proverbs 4:23, Luke 10:38-43, II Corinthians 9:7, and Philippians 4:7

To have healthy boundaries with others, we must first develop them within ourselves. Because a boundary isn’t for other people – it’s for us. That’s deep. God even models this with us directly – he doesn’t force us to be in relationship with him (even though that’s his desire), he gives us the freedom to choose. He convicts and guides us, but ultimately, he allows us to decide how we respond to him – that’s a boundary.

And when we are making healthy decisions that align with God’s Word – we experience God’s peace, fulfillment, joy, and goodness. When we make choices that aren’t God’s best for us – we miss out on so much of that. It’s the same in our other relationships. When we lack healthy boundaries, we don’t experience much peace, fulfillment, joy, or goodness. Am I right? Instead, our hearts fill up quickly with anger, resentment, and bitterness.

When Martha invited Jesus into her home, her intentions were in the right place by wanting to host Jesus well, but she quickly lost focus, got upset, and became resentful because Mary was soaking up one on one time with Jesus instead of helping with preparations. So, Martha went to Jesus and tattled on Mary. Martha didn’t even ask Mary for help. She assumed that she would get it and was upset when she didn’t.

2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “each one must do just as he has purposed in his heart, not grudgingly or under compulsion.” We can’t say yes to something and then be angry about it and take it out on others. When we release control of people’s feelings and expectations, then we can start to experience true peace.

Many times, in my journey of learning what a boundary was, it kept coming back to some deep underlying issues. Much like Martha, I had unhealthy expectations. Like when I offered advice to people but got upset when they didn’t do what I suggested. That’s a control issue. And ultimately, those things stemmed from insecurity. I wanted to be needed, valued, and loved by others so much that I thought I could control my way to that fulfillment. I kept unhealthy relationships in hopes that they would “come around” because I didn’t want to be rejected or alone.

There is so much freedom that comes from understanding that our identity is found in Jesus – not in other people.

08/24/2026

Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train by Megan Wright - Day 2

Read Joshua 1, 11:16-23

The story in Joshua is about God fulfilling his promise to the family of Abraham. It shows the importance of obedience before, during, and after God fulfills his promises. God was clearing the way for his borders to be set.

After defeating their enemies, the people of Israel divided the land by tribe and received final words of challenge from Joshua: to remain faithful to their covenant with God. He reminded them of where they started, the hard times they faced, what they fought for - and then he reiterated the boundaries that God GIFTED them. He said to them: look at how much you have gone through to get what is yours. Look at what you have had to fight through, to be given your inheritance of land - your BOUNDARY, your FOUNDATION, your place of REST, your place of OWNERSHIP, your place of PEACE.

God led the Israelites through disaster, famine, and death. What do you think the Israelites were feeling during this time? Anxiety, Weariness, Exhaustion, Fear, Frustration?

Think about the journey that you’ve gone through in your challenging relationships. Can you relate to some of those emotions? Are you fighting battles but can’t seem to claim your Promised Land of peace?

God didn’t share the details of every boundary line without purpose. He didn’t just say “scatter and figure it out for yourselves!” He was very detailed in telling his people what was and what wasn’t theirs. And then he told them not to cross the borders he defined because they weren’t entitled to do so. God expected his boundaries that he set, to be respected and obeyed.

He laid out the “how to” guide when he laid the foundation of his people and showed us how we are to do life in the same way. When God tells us how to do something healthy and we follow him, we can rest because we know that God’s boundary is best for us – even if other people don’t like it. Read that again.

God’s ways protect our hearts. And when we put our full trust in THAT, in his GIFT of SAFETY; in his GIFT of PEACE and REST over our lives - then we have more room, and more comfort, to be our best selves in relationships.

08/23/2026

Boundaries: Get Off the Crazy Train by Megan Wright - Day 1

Read Genesis 13:14-15, 15:18, and Joshua 14

Why do we allow people space in our lives that don’t promote healthy relationship habits? We think boundaries are mean and that it’s unchristian of us to set some rules of engagement, so we stress out, we act out, we lash out and then we miss out on peace!

And often we find ourselves giving empty threats or cutting people out of our lives until we feel guilty, so we let them back in and the crazy train goes around the same track over and over again. Sound familiar?

In the beginning of the Old Testament, we see God repeatedly set up specific boundaries - boundaries all around their tribes, their land, their homes, and their people. Those boundaries provided protection. They provided a way to make a living. Boundaries were the people’s inheritance - their promise and gift from God! Some of you are really understanding how much of a gift a boundary could be – am I right?

Now when you start setting boundaries, you can just say they are gifts from God (with a big smile of course).

In Joshua 14, after the boundaries of land had been set up, it says “THEN THE LAND HAD REST FROM WAR”. That’s a word right there. Are you exhausted from battling others? Do you feel like you need some rest from relationship wars in your life?

Satan uses our lack of boundaries to create chaos, stress, and unrest – which robs us of the PEACE of GOD! What areas in your life right now are missing the peace of God because of chaos and stress?

God shows us how important it is to provide boundaries for us and our family. He shows us how important our family is and how important our own space is. He’s given us boundaries to protect us and provide room for his presence.

We have to learn how to say NO to people and YES to GOD. Do you feel like you and God have your own space? Today, start praying for Wisdom for where God wants you to set Boundaries.

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