05/08/2026
A note to partners who get involved with us horsey peeps ...
Please read carefully.
This is your induction. There will be no refresher training.
1. Do not ask about “basic horse costs.”
There are no basics.
Everything costs £20.
Stop asking. 🚩
2. You will spend long periods outside holding things.
Horse.
Bucket.
Fork.
Coffee.
Sometimes emotional space.
Accept it.
3. You are now Chief Videographer
Film the whole thing.
Not the floor.
Not your feet.
Not half a circle.
Miss the good bit and we will remember forever.
4. “I’ll just be 30 minutes” is a concept, not a promise.
It exists outside of time.
5. Just eat dinner without me.
I’ll eat later.
Or not.
Or I’ll eat three biscuits at 10pm and call it a meal.
6. “I’ll be five minutes” means at least an hour.
Do not ask why.
Do not look confused.
7. Get a good waterproof jacket.
Don't question it just get one.
8. You must admire all horses equally.
Even the ones that are clearly gremlins.
But the ones I own are the best.
9. You will understand the boxes that arrive at the house do not need questioning. .
It's just stuff.
Like...more....stuff.......
For the horse (and me...probs another coat)
10. Weather will be discussed constantly.
In detail.
On repeat.
This is vital information.
11. Your clothes will smell of hay, mud, and horse.
This is permanent.
There is no escape.
12. You will be asked to hold a horse “just for a second.”
This second will last 45 minutes.
And you will become besties by the end of that 45 mins.
13. Weekends are not yours anymore.
They belong to the yard.
You may attend as a guest.
14. You must show interest in rugs. **and saddlepads**
Yes, they all look the same.
No, they are not.
15. If we go to a show.
Just exist.
I love you.
But please only speak to me when I'm done and fed.
16. You will learn to nod sympathetically at vet bills.
Do not gasp.
Do not flinch.
17. You may not suggest selling the horse. Ever.
This is grounds for immediate dismissal.
18. You will be expected to understand that horses come before plans.
All plans.
Including yours.
19. Photos of you may include horse heads, mud, or half a human.
Be grateful.
20. You must learn how to fill haynets without swearing
21. Despite all of this…
If you show up, hold things, film badly but try,
and love us anyway
you are deeply appreciated.
Even if we don’t say it while we’re “just popping up the yard.”
Horse partners.....we love you and sorry if we don't say it as much as we tell the animals.
You're truly appreciated for your support and care 🥰
Welcome to the lifestyle.
There is no opt-out clause. 🐴🤣 you've signed your life away....🙈@
