The Dame's Quarters

11/04/2025

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her so brainwashed that it’s all her fault and that she’s no good to anyone and no one will want her or love her and there’s no way she can possibly make it on her own.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because she thinks that if she just tries harder and if she’s a better wife and a better mom that maybe he will be happy with her and he wouldn’t get so angry with her. And maybe he will be the same sweet, charming man that he was when they first met.

Wʜʏ ᴅᴏᴇsɴ’ᴛ sʜᴇ ʟᴇᴀᴠᴇ?

Because he has her convinced that if she tries he will hurt or kill her or her family. Because he has threatened to tell the judge that she is a bad mom and will take away her kids and she will never see them again. Because he has taken away her money and convinced her that she has no good job qualities to make it on her own financially and she will always need him.

More people are concerned with why women stay in abusive relationships than why men are abusing women. Unless you’ve been in an abusive relationship people have no idea how hard it is to escape. Abusers are able to fool those outside the home because they usually only abuse those inside the home.

They need your support.
They need your love.
They do not need your judgement.

Let’s raise awareness 💜

10/31/2025

A narcissist’s timeline:
Love bomb. Control. Destroy. Play victim. Call you crazy. Tell everyone they tried their best.

This is the pattern they follow almost like clockwork, and it’s exhausting because it feels personal, like it’s about you — but it’s really never about you. At first, they sweep you off your feet with charm, attention, and grand gestures. You feel seen, adored, and like you’ve finally found someone who understands you. They make everything feel effortless, like you’re the only person in the world that matters.

Then slowly, almost imperceptibly, control creeps in. They decide what’s acceptable, who you can trust, and even how you feel about yourself. Gaslighting becomes the norm: your emotions are wrong, your perceptions are skewed, and your reality is questioned. Every kind thought you have about yourself starts to erode under their manipulations.

Once they’ve isolated your sense of self and dependency has grown, the destruction begins. They criticize, belittle, and push your boundaries until you’re emotionally drained. And when you start to resist, when you finally set a boundary, they flip the story. Suddenly, they are the victim. You are “too sensitive,” “overreacting,” “crazy,” or “ungrateful.” Friends, family, and colleagues are slowly drawn into their narrative.

Finally, when everything is said and done, they make sure the world sees them as the one who “tried their best.” The heartbreak, confusion, and trauma you experience are invisible to everyone else. They are experts at crafting a public image of innocence and effort while leaving destruction in their wake.

This isn’t love. It’s a calculated cycle of charm, control, and manipulation designed to make you doubt your own reality while they maintain power and a spotless reputation. And the scariest part? They repeat it over and over, to anyone who falls into their orbit.

05/18/2024

You’re holding onto too many bags.

I see you over there, weighted down, bogged down and barely able to move, and I wanted to let you know that I’ve been there too, and do you know what I figured out was the problem? I was simply holding onto too many bags.

It’s not a race. It’s a not a competition. It’s not a sport.

There’s no trophy. There’s no medal. There’s no tape at the end with people waiting with signs and balloons to cheer for you because you did the most amount of things in 24 hours.

You’re holding onto too many bags.

And obviously, you’re worn out by it, and stressed out by it, and you’re missing some of the best parts of life because if it.

It’s really hard to dance when you’re weighted down. It’s really hard to fly when you’re shackled to so much stuff.

Some bags have to stay. Some you can’t afford to drop, but some of them...well, they need to go.

- Worrying why somebody doesn’t like you? Put that bag down.

- Holding onto that one thing that one person did six months ago? Drop it.

- Staying angry at something somebody did that they honestly probably aren’t even aware of? Talk to them about it, forgive them, and then trash it.

- Saying yes to things you hate just because you’re too worried you’ll look bad if you say no? Garbage.

- Comparing your life to what you assume someone else’s is like? Absolutely, without a doubt, place that bag on the ground and leave it there.

- Consuming yourself with wondering why that one group doesn’t include you? Nope, not today, Satan.

- Wishing you could go back and change the past? Walk away.

- Worrying about the future? Run away, my friend. Run away fast. Worrying won’t change one thing, but it’ll take today from you if you let it.

- Hanging onto that one thing somebody said about you that one time? Down. Throw the bag down.

- Believing you’re only worthwhile if you are everything to everyone every second of every day? Back away from the bag.

- Playing keep up? Convincing yourself you’ll just never survive if you don’t have the latest and greatest and whatever it is that everyone else is buying? That bag doesn’t belong in your arms.

- In too big of a hurry to pause and enjoy your kids, your spouse, your friends, your talents, the day-to-day, simple, mundane, but beautiful pieces of your life? That’s the biggest bag of all, and you’ve gotta let go. You just do.

I don’t know what you’re carrying.

I have not the slightest clue. It may be a season where your arms are fundamentally full full-time, and there’s not one thing you can do about it, but if you’re anything like me, and I have a feeling you probably are, sometimes we just get anxious and stressed out and we just start grabbing bags at random and clutching to them like crazy, when they are in fact, the very thing that’s robbing us of our life.

You can’t do it all.
You can’t be it all.
You can’t carry it all.

Do what you can.
Be who you are.
Only carry what’s important.

And put the rest of the bags down.

Love,
Amy

05/13/2024

“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
Dr Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

Christian Schloe

05/13/2024

Words from my new book The Freedom of Forward☀️

04/08/2024

Whenever you find yourself starting to miss someone you really loved…

But someone who didn’t appreciate you.

Someone who didn’t care about how you felt.

Someone who you loved, but someone who just treated you like an option.

Stop just for a brief moment, and remember…

Remember the disrespect.

Remember all the times when your feelings didn’t matter and went invalidated.

Remember how your worth was completely disregarded.

Remember when your boundaries were ignored time and time again.

Remember the things they did to break your trust over and over again.

Remember all the times you asked them to treat you like they loved you, but they still refused.

Remember how it made you feel.

Remember just how much it hurt.

Remember how disappointed you felt.

Remember how betrayed you felt.

Because this was real.

This was someone’s version of love for you.

It’s normal to miss someone that you once loved; but it’s so important to remember all of the reasons why the relationship didn’t work, instead of just remembering the good times and the happy memories.

Respect yourself by remembering how you felt, because in doing so you’re honouring yourself and validating your emotions.

Use these memories to reassess and reaffirm your boundaries, values, and what’s important to you in a relationship.

Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect.

You deserve to be treated with kindness.

You deserve to be heard with empathy and understanding.

You deserve to have your feelings and needs cared about.

And you deserve to feel emotionally safe because you trust the person you love to look after your heart and do the right thing by you.

Because when you’re in a relationship, these things are not optional extras.

They are non-negotiable basic foundations.

Don’t allow someone to treat you less than you deserve.

And don’t settle for a love, that’s less than you deserve…

~ Mark

03/17/2024

Words from my book The Strength That Stays 🌹

12/23/2023

Survivors have reported that if a domestic violence shelter did not exist, the consequences for them would be dire: homelessness, serious losses including loss of their children, actions taken in desperation, or continued abuse or death.
Women and men who experienced food and housing insecurity in the past 12 months reported a significantly higher 12-month prevalence of r**e, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner compared to women and men who did not experience food and housing insecurity.

When talking about homelessness and its causes, there are many potential causes that people tend to point their hand to including: substance abuse, mental disability, and loss of income to name a few. Though one is very much distinguishable. One that study shows causes four times the odds of housing instability, domestic violence.

Montgomery County Women's Center has been providing a safe haven for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault for over 40 years. Sheltering Oaks, our 24-hour emergency shelter, was built 20 years ago and is starting to need extensive repairs.
While the shelter offers clients with necessities, such as clothing, toiletries, and food, it does much more than that. Our shelter advocates are specially trained to assist clients in achieving their goals, providing crisis intervention, case management, safety planning, information, and referrals.

Did you know that a safe roof over one's head can make all the difference for survivors of domestic violence?

By joining hands with our organization, you can contribute towards the much-needed roof repairs of our Emergency Shelter. Your generosity will allow us to continue providing safety and support for those striving to rebuild their lives. https://mcwctx.org/get-involved/donate-online/

12/01/2023