06/04/2021
Tuesday, May 18, 2021, was my last night as Judge of Elections… or so I had thought. I had decided not to run again for one reason: I refuse to take on the identity of either of the Big Two political parties, each of which has strangled the ability to debate or to dissent right out of the marketplace of ideas.
The Big Two have the system rigged to quash the likelihood of independents or third-party candidates from getting onto the ballots by making the signature requirements higher (even after the totals were reduced, the requirement is still disproportionate and can impose ableist impediments on individuals who wish to run for office but who do not have the physical capability to walk around their neighborhood to solicit signatures. Covid trashed my lungs last year, and there was no way I was going to go around last summer to solicit signatures to be on this primary's ballot on the lineup of either of the Big Two parties,
So, I did not run again, and there was no name on the ballot for my position — and I was fine with that.
During the May 2021 election, I heard my Machine Inspector spelling my surname out to a voter. When I asked her what was up, she responded that he wanted to write me in as a candidate. I thought it was nice of him and said so, and she said it was more "nice of 'them' because it was more than one person."
On the four-year cycle of elections, this primary is the worst of all of them in my ward. This is an old town with rivalries between and among some families that show up, particularly within the Democratic Party during the local elections. There are by far more Democrats in this town than Republicans, so the Democratic candidates often will take up write-in campaigns to win both tickets so as to be effectively unopposed in November. This means that, once the primary election is over, we are reading the numerous spelling variations that on the write-ins.
I don't know how it happened, but I, as a registered Squirrel Reform Party (I admit I feel some satisfaction when I see the SR in the poll book) member, pulled in enough write-in votes on the Democratic and Republican tickets that I won both. So, my position is mine if I want to take it again. However, if I do take it, it would have to be won under either the Democratic or the Republican ticket... unless...
The Squirrel Reform (SR) Party is actually listed in Pennsylvania's book that gives party code references for poll workers' reference. Many of the listed party names are obviously folly (the Keg Party, the Birthday Party), but the Squirrel Reform Party has been around a lot longer than I have been the Judge of Elections.
The SR Party had appeared to be defunct in any activity and I can really find out almost nothing about it. I used to think that it might have had something to do with the Squirrel Hill neighborhood of Pittsburgh, but now I think is might be somehow related to the word "ekorreform," which Google Translator automatically throws into English as "Squirrel Reform" in the context of tea infusers.
I still don't know how the old party came into being, but I do know that there is only one elected official in the commonwealth of the Squirrel Reform Party (hint for those of you who fell asleep while reading the last paragraph: it is I).
My decision to take on the Squirrel Reform identity is far more than just something that the crazy squirrel guy on the corner near Bristol Borough High School would concoct. It was actually based in disgust about the fact that we allowed the Big Two to shut out everyone else while providing themselves the means to keep expanding. It's easier to just not even bother to get involved than it is to spend money, collect an unreasonably high number of signatures, and to invest a lot of energy into a campaign where you will be listed off to the side. Most of the voters will simply vote the party line anyway, so, all the effort you put into it will simply result in a failed campaign anyway. So, most people who are frustrated by the rigged system throw up their hands and walk away, thereby allowing the rigged system to reinforce the notion that only the Big Two matter.
That is exactly what happened in my case. It was easier to just give up that it was to get the signatures, so I had given up. However, due to the bemusing presence of an unsolicited write-in campaign, I *think* I can run unopposed in November. So I won an election I did not even plan to take part in. The best I can surmise is that there were some factions trying to keep other factions from winning my elected office, and I somehow became the name to put down.
This has me thinking, though. I am perfectly fine with keeping my office, but, if I do decide to stay on the job, I do not want to hold it as either a Democrat or a Republican. Thus, the squirrels in my mind are causing me to consider actually getting the signatures to get on the ballot under Squirrel Reform. After all, if the D and the R already caused me to win numerically, this might be a good time to run on the Squirrel Reform platform to make a statement about the hegemony the Big Two have.
Even if I were to get on the ballot as Squirrel Reform, I'd have to win under the Squirrel Reform votes. That would mean encouraging Democratic and Republican voters to look beyond the party lines and vote for the same person but under a different political ticket. The message could be conveyed well, but the chances are much higher that I would end up elected under the Democratic Party.
I have to double-check some things with the Board of Elections and then do a lot of thinking...
