08/22/2026
Happy Final Day of Carnival, everyone!
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything longish or of much substance on social media. Well, I’m back! Finally coming up for air after a rambunctious and exhilarating several weeks of peak season in Provincetown, in which I’ve found myself too busy planning my next official appearance to type anything here. So much to report! For now, here’s a description of my Carnival Parade Day, last Thursday. 📝
Each Third Thursday of August, for the past six years since becoming Town Crier, I’ve marched at the head of Carnival Parade from step off at Harbor Hotel on Snail Road at 3PM sharp.
For long parades I always bring my trusty bell ‘Bella’ along with me, as my fancier bell ’Dorothy’—while subjectively prettier—is about one pound heavier, and also much louder. She hurts my ears! I swing that bell like the maniac I truly am, and hollering like a banshee, for the duration of the parade, down to Franklin Street by the Coast Guard Station, with neither rest nor respite in between. A labor of love! And, needless to say, I love it all. 🔔
Suffice to say that Provincetown Carnival Parade ranks damn near the very top of my favorite of annual events. For me it marks both the high point and maximum thrill value of the entire season, and also I love it because I know that after tomorrow, it's all downhill from here. Soon we will enjoy our ‘Townie Summer’ in which most of the tourists are gone, the weather is still perfect, and we have the Town largely to ourselves to enjoy at our leisure. 😎
Parade setup area is among my favorite parts of the day. I’ve served as Carnival Parade Chairman myself a few times, and have been involved in the planning committee off & on for the better part of the past 15 years. This time, Bill was in charge of Group E, my job was to situate all the groups in Group A. In the setup area, comedian Lea DeLaria sang ‘Ring them Bells” for me—wish I had a video of that! 🎙️
Step off was right on time, and begins for me when I ring my bell for the first time and proclaim “Welcome to the 48th Annual Carnival Parade! This year’s theme is Deep Sea Disco!” The crowd roars with enthusiasm. I march for about 50 feet or so and do it again. Wash, rinse repeat. For about 3 hours. 📣
Passing St. Mary’s Church on the East End, Reverend Brian Raiche threw holy water on the Town Crier. Felt very relieved that I didn’t burst into flames! Chuckled to myself that were my mother here to witness that event, she might have shielded me from that holy water “para que no te conviertas en chicharrón!” 🔥My mother was present, in a certain way; I was wearing her string of pearls around my neck, which I considered appropriate for the occasion, considering the theme.
I always prepare for Carnival, well in advance. Swinging that big bell for hours on end, over a distance of about two miles, I never skip ‘arm day’ at the gym from about ten days before. On the day of the parade, my downstairs neighbor Rhonda wraps my hand in gauze to prevent blistering—happens nonetheless anyway, just not as bad as it would without.
I do switch hands every now and then, to give my arm a needed rest; but believe it or not, it takes a truly ambidextrous individual to be able to properly ring a bell with either hand with equal dexterity. My right arm can produce a ‘Ding’ or a ‘Klang’, my left can only muster a ‘Klunk’ or a metallic scraping sound. Large crowds and video cameras get a Ding. Quieter areas get the Klunk. Which did you get? 🔕
I’ve also distributed gatorade bottles to several friends at strategic locations along Commercial Street, to hand to me as I pass. Kinda like running a marathon.
Billy marched in the parade with the Art's Dune Tours float, in Group E, wiggling his Squid Te****le Fingers while looking adorable. Congratulations to Art’s Dune Tours by the way—who won Best Thematic Entry, Large Float! Great job for a company now celebrating its 80th year in Provincetown! “How ya Dune!” 🏆
Arrived at Franklin Street just about 3 hours later, drenched in sweat but still beaming with a big smile, voice intact after all that hollering. Pretty sure I lost a squidlet fishing lure, or maybe two, along the way—but feeling confident that no one noticed but me. 🦑
Watched the rest of the parade with our USCG Coasties at the Coast Guard Station. The final entry was the much-awaited announcement of next year’s Carnival theme: Cosmic Rodeo! That float featured my talented friend Qya Cristál who was mounted upon a cosmic red rocket. 🚀 Each year’s theme presents a fresh challenge for me: I now have one year to figure out how to pay homage to the next theme, while still remaining recognizably the Town Crier. How can I pull off a Cowboy Space Pilgrim? Time to start planning! 🤠
Wandering the ‘Pilgrim Walk of Shame’ back homeward, I ran into someone who appeared by his entourage to be some sort of television celebrity, which usually means I’ll have zero idea who it is. This time it was a fellow by the name of David Bromstad, who had been in town all week, folks making quite the fuss about him, though I had absolutely no idea of his identity—since I’ve made it my lifelong habit of not watching much television at all since 1983. Which explains why I'm so poorly versed in American TV culture. 🚫📺 Last Tuesday, while I was narrating aboard the Mayflower Trolley Tour and attempting to talk about Mary Heaton Vorse and her role involving the Provincetown Playhouse—when my passengers all started screaming and swooning like teenage girls in heat at a Beatles concert, circa 1964… this guy comes up to the trolley and suffice to say I just gave up altogether on the history of Provincetown Art Association and Museum, threw up my hands in consternation and simply allowed them to scream. So after the parade, I ran into him & yelled “Hey, you! You’re the guy who hijacked my Mayflower Trolley Tour the other day!” He rolled with it & replied “Honey, I *MADE* that tour for you, be happy!” Which was pretty much exactly what I would say in that same situation, were the roles reversed. We took a selfie. 🤳
Yesterday (Friday) I spent most of the morning chilling at home, enjoying what I believe to be a very well deserved chillaxination day of doing pretty much nothing at all. I earned it! Turned on Netflix that evening and should not have been surprised to see my first Christmas commercial of the year, about Christmas at Disney. Indeed what they say is true—once Carnival has slipped into our rear view mirror, it’s all downhill from here! 🎄
