Good evening ladies and gentlemen..esteemed members of the wrestling public, I want to thank you all for being here tonight at this press conference..shortly before the return launch of XCEL!!!! These have been a confusing few months for all of us, myself definitely included. From debuting in Rank 1 to climbing the ladder all the way to become the 1st XL Heavyweight Champion!!
(Press and associated fans cheer)
Hell I was the first champion and that ol’ executive son of his name isn’t worth being mentioned stripped of my damn title!!
(Fans boo loudly)
(The associated press starts to raise their hands for questions)
But all evil things come to an end and while that demon was slayed, I returned back to my original post in these United States military. I worked hand and hand with the president to create a better nation for you all while vile creatures roamed freely!
(Fans appear confused)
It is nothing to worry about, a wild thing will always find its way. Nonetheless I say all of that to say this very clearly, so everyone listen closely…XCEL is Back, I am Back, and We Are Back!!!!
(Camera flashes fill the screen)
(Fans get out of their seats)
Hell yes, We Are Back! So that brings me to my announcement regarding our main event tonight for our return!
In the main event tonight, after almost four months since my last appearance on your television screens…I will be defending the very title I never lose..The XL Heavyweight championship!
My opponent, well his name is Ryan Strong. You folks may have heard of him right?
(Fans react loudly)
Well we will be meeting face to face tonight. I respect Ryan, I respect his accomplishments and I respect his in-ring ability. He is a hell of a competitor…but tonight there can only be one outcome…I will be walking away with my championship..
I will stare into Strong’s eyes tonight and I will find a somber truth, a similar truth as many of my other opponents..and that truth is Ryan Strong has never experienced a competitor like myself!!!!!
No excuses, no goddamn executive decisions, just raw unadulterated competition in that sacred squared circle! It will be your Chief Warrant Officer Three, The General Vinny Cane vs Ryan Strong for the XL HEAVYWEIGHT Championship and only one of us will walk away with the greatest prize in our Industry…Press conference Over!!!!
(General slams down the mic, ignoring any calls of questions from the press)
(Fans start an XCEL chant)
(A staff member comes to the podium)
Staffer: Ladies and gentlemen, there will be no further questions, General Vinny Cane has ended this conference. Thank you all for coming and we will see you tonight!