Life Behind the Veil with Erica Thurman is an exploration of the sociopolitical intersections and shared experiences of Black girls and women.
"When it was clear the doctor wasn’t listening to me, I stopped listening to her."
Something wasn’t right but I couldn’t put my finger on it. Not even after I found myself curled into a ball on a bed I’d barely left for 4 days, uncontrollably crying after not eating a full meal for two weeks and alternating between insomnia...
“But sometimes, I actually do a thing simply because my feet itch. Just because I damn well want to. Sometimes folks have abortions because they feet itch. And that’s it.
And that’s ok.”
“I didn’t do it because my feet itch.” That’s how my uncle Donald used to tell us he had a logical reason for doing something. The exchange usually began with my aunt Ernestine saying, “Well Donald why did you do that?” And he’d respond that...
Spoilers y’all.
First of all, spoilers. Because this is a review of sorts. Where I’m talking about the movie. So spoilers. Get out now if you don’t want to know what happens. Third of all, I ain’t finna fight with none of the Marvel comic purists about...
Self-Sacrifice Ain't Your Ministry Sis: Life Lessons on the Being Mary Jane Finale - Kehinde Thurman
As teased in the promo, Mary Jane gets married in the finale. And since having a baby and getting married were the things she has wanted to do the whole show, this is a happy ending for her. Now I’d have made a different decision...
"I came to the GoT party late. And I have paid dearly for it. First of all, I started watching for a man. I had zero interest in the show but I had more than zero interest in hanging out with said man. And he was watching the GoT season premiere. So I watched the first episode just so I would be able to put names to faces when I watched the start of season 8 with him. Insert cop sitting across from Caine. “You know you done f**ked up right?” And I had. I had f**ked up. I finally know what it means when somebody say Winter is Coming. And even though I’m from Chicago, ain’t nobody ready for this type of Winter. It’s cold y’all. Cold."
I came to the GoT party late. And I have paid dearly for it. First of all, I started watching for a man. I had zero interest in the show but I had more than zero interest in hanging out with said man. And he...
"That’s the thing about abuse. Be it sexual assault or domestic violence, it changes you in ways you never imagined. Then one day you’re calmly lying beside him describing in detail how you will kill him and show the jury all the pictures of your bruises. And you will know that you mean it. He will know that you mean it. Finally, you’ll leave. Not because you’re scared he’ll kill you. But because you know you’ll kill him."
But for the ancestors looking out for me, I’d probably have a few restraining orders filed against me too. All of them would have been filed by the man who beat me for 6 years. There is the time I cut up his clothes. The...
Winter, 1965 Seemed like there was a river of blood. But since it was just her in the bathtub in the bathroom, the source had to be her alone. Maybe for the better. In the current of red it was harder to see whether everything had passed already. Her insides felt like something had to be making its way out. Hurt more than cramps but she supposed X had just said it wouldn’t hurt much to make her less afraid about a choice she ain’t really have. [ 258 more words ]
https://ericathurman.com/losing-lois-if-my-grandmother-had-roe-v-wade-id-still-have-my-grandmother/
Winter, 1965 Seemed like there was a river of blood. But since it was just her in the bathtub in the bathroom, the source had to be her alone. Maybe...Continue reading →
Things That Do Not Cause Sexual Assault and What We Can Do To Stop It
https://ericathurman.com/things-that-do-not-cause-sexual-assault-and-what-we-can-do-to-stop-it/
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8GcuHcgL6a8 0 0 2 Previous post Say My Name, Say Her Name: On Beyoncé, Everything is Love and the Universal Hatred of Black Women Share facebook twitter pinterest Erica Thurman View all posts by Erica Thurman → Cancel Reply Name * Email * Website Notify me of follo...
Coping With Depression When the Magic Ain’t ‘Enuf
https://ericathurman.com/coping-with-depression-when-the-magic-aint-enuf/
0 0 1 Previous post Say My Name, Say Her Name: On Beyoncé, Everything is Love and the Universal Hatred of Black Women Share facebook twitter pinterest Erica Thurman View all posts by Erica Thurman → Cancel Reply Name * Email * Website Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next ...
Coping With Depression When the Magic Ain't 'Enuf
Get ready with me while I discuss my journey with depression, ways that I cope, deal and heal.
It happens every time Beyoncé drops an album. Or a video. Or sneezes. Whenever she makes a move, folks want to remind us that her movement don’t fix racism, sexism or bring about world peace. The interweb is filled with cries of, “I mean doing a Black Panther salute during halftime on one of the world’s largest platforms is fine but what is she doing for Black people,” and “She spent all that money on that video but do she donate her money to the Black community?” I’m not even going to address that latter point. [ 1,533 more word ]
https://ericathurman.com/say-my-name-say-her-name-on-beyonce-everything-is-love-and-the-universal-hatred-of-black-women/
It happens every time Beyoncé drops an album. Or a video. Or sneezes. Whenever she makes a move, folks want to remind us that her movement don’t fix racism, sexism...Continue reading →
I don’t know how many gaht damn times we got to tell folks. We ain’t settling for center adjacent. Beyonce reminded y’all when she literally took center stage and shut Coachella down with the Blackest performance they ever did see. When my knee get right, I’m learning that choreo and its over for all y’all! I digress. Teyana Taylor told y’all weekly as she unapologetically loved and allows herself to be loved by her man on their show (to be clear, hetero relationships ain’t the only ones that count up in here but sis got that man wearing matching clothes on every episode. [ 1,196 more word ]
http://ericathurman.com/we-will-not-settle-for-center-adjacent-on-queen-sugar-and-black-girls-pushing-through/
I don’t know how many gaht damn times we got to tell folks. We ain’t settling for center adjacent. Beyonce reminded y’all when she literally took center stage and shut...Continue reading →
Lips and Lit in order of appearance: Lippies MAC Cork Liner with Butter London All Hail the Queen and Pip Pop gloss Wet N Wild Liquid Catsuit liquid lipstick in Give Me Mocha Mac lipstick in Capricious with Mally gloss in The Perfect Nude NARS in Under My Thumb Pat McGrath MatteTrance in Full Panic Pat McGrath MatteTrance in Obsession… [ 69 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/lipstick-and-literature-3/
Lips and Lit in order of appearance: Lippies MAC Cork Liner with Butter London All Hail the Queen and Pip Pop gloss Wet N Wild Liquid Catsuit liquid lipstick in...Continue reading →
I don’t know how many beds I’ve slept in neither. I do know I attended 13 schools before 8th grade. But I was grown before I realized I spent most of my childhood homeless. Guess it registered a little when we stayed in shelters a couple of times but that was temporary. In my young mind, homeless meant you had nowhere to go. [ 481 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/deja-vu-this-is-us-chronic-homelessness-and-being-a-tired-black-girl/
I don’t know how many beds I’ve slept in neither. I do know I attended 13 schools before 8th grade. But I was grown before I realized I spent most...Continue reading →
First of all, I wanna have a whole baby so I can name her Okoye. Which is fitting because it would be immaculate conception and Okoye is heavenly. Third of all...Okoye. Now that we’ve established my favorite Wakandan, let’s get to the love letter. I mean, the lessons. Because real or fictional, Black women stay teaching us. Lessons I learned from Okoye: … [ 614 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/needed-know-life-learned-okoye-black-panther-review-okoye-just-okoye-okoye/
First of all, I wanna have a whole baby so I can name her Okoye. Which is fitting because it would be immaculate conception and Okoye is heavenly. Third of...Continue reading →
Reasons I'm here for SZA's The Weekend video directed by Solange. 1) A Black girl is centered for 4 minutes and 9 seconds. Just her. 2) She teaching and preaching with the dancing. Y'all know how I feel about dancing as a means to positive body image and self-esteem. I recommend doing naked. Often. 3) She dancing by, and for, herself. [ 248 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/szas-weekend-video-celebrating-black-girls-even-safe-basic-never-black-girls/
Reasons I’m here for SZA’s The Weekend video directed by Solange. 1) A Black girl is centered for 4 minutes and 9 seconds. Just her. 2) She teaching and preaching...Continue reading →
So dig this, sis. I took some workout progress pics this weekend. And they made me miserable. Because I couldn’t see the changes. Sure, there were some obvious differences, my legs are more toned, abdomen smaller…but I wanted more muscles. Where was my definition? Never mind that I’ve been bulking (consuming surplus calories) to gain weight, I wanted to see muscles. [ 681 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/time-yoga-class-delivert-spirit-comparison/
So dig this, sis. I took some workout progress pics this weekend. And they made me miserable. Because I couldn’t see the changes. Sure, there were some obvious differences, my...Continue reading →
I had a first reaction similar to many on the TIME person of the year piece....I was like, "Taylor? Why she front and center?" Okay, literally she was off center but figuratively she stay centered. Like whiteness. And as always, my mind went to those who are most vulnerable. I can't stand much about Taylor Swift (probably all that she stands for and symbolizes) but I think it's important that we not minimize the experience of any person who has been subjected to sexual assault/abuse/harassment. [ 472 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/dont-like-will-go-hard-survivor-response-taylor-swifts-almost-sorta-centering-time-person-year-cover/
I had a first reaction similar to many on the TIME person of the year piece….I was like, “Taylor? Why she front and center?” Okay, literally she was off center...Continue reading →
Black girl Sister Queen Black Friend Mammy Object of my desire Tell me who hurt you Unless it was me Or someone who looks like me In that case Then you need the facts And you should let the courts decide Because the courts never get it wrong Unless they get it wrong with me You’re being divisive We’re all... [ 78 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/black-men-sound-like-white-women-sound-like-white-men/
Black girl Sister Queen Black Friend Mammy Object of my desire Tell me who hurt you Unless it was me Or someone who looks like me In that case Then...Continue reading →
First of all, Tessa Thompson is a badass. Third of all, before you start crying about spoilers, ain't none. Because there is a way to reflect on something without giving away the details. I'm talking to all of you Queen Sugar spoilers out there. At any rate, because I love Marvel and Thor is one of my favorites, I saw Thor: Ragnarok (and enjoyed it). [ 1,032 more word ]
http://ericathurman.com/1458-2/
First of all, Tessa Thompson is a badass. Third of all, before you start crying about spoilers, ain’t none. Because there is a way to reflect on something without giving...Continue reading →
So I started watching the most recent season of MasterChef and got to witness the #BlackGirlMagic of both Yachecia and Eboni (Southside). MasterChef and two Black women to root for? Binging. Anyway, at some point Yachecia was the captain of a team that lost a challenge. Short version is that she had the chance to save herself or save six of her team members and then she herself would go head to head in a pressure test with the one team member she didn't save. [ 1,139 more word ]
http://ericathurman.com/sins-father-sins-son-power-perpetual-sacrifice-black-girls-women/
So I started watching the most recent season of MasterChef and got to witness the #BlackGirlMagic of both Yachecia and Eboni (Southside). MasterChef and two Black women to root for?...Continue reading →
R. Kelly is a rapist. But you know that. Thing is, you often don’t even dispute it. You just counter by pointing out that white male celebrities have raped women too. As if there should be equal opportunity to rape. Because the only thing I glean from argument is that is that you feel Kelly should be allowed to continue raping freely because white male celebrities have done so. [ 483 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/r-kelly-rapist-know/
R. Kelly is a rapist. But you know that. Thing is, you often don’t even dispute it. You just counter by pointing out that white male celebrities have raped women...Continue reading →
Seems I have a bit in common with TV's latest hated women. Not Olivia Pope, although I do work in D.C. and will sport a mean coat. Mary Jane neither because ain't no way I'm ever moving to New York. I'm talking about the Tashas. In part because that's my club name. If I'm interested when you ask, I say my name is Tasha. [ 1,039 more word ]
http://ericathurman.com/tale-two-tashas-black-women-sexuality-ownership/
Seems I have a bit in common with TV’s latest hated women. Not Olivia Pope, although I do work in D.C. and will sport a mean coat. Mary Jane neither...Continue reading →
So all during the episode I was preparing a whole nother blog post. I was gon' talk about how Molly is going to let comparison be the death of the relationship she ain't even had yet. I was gon talk about Molly and Issa switching roles (Issa tryin' to be a hoe, Molly trying not to be) and getting exactly what they (don't) want. [ 982 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/tasha-dropped-gospel-insecure-book-relations-443/
So all during the episode I was preparing a whole nother blog post. I was gon’ talk about how Molly is going to let comparison be the death of the...Continue reading →
It's hard to let it go because you're attached to it but maybe you’re just comfortable with it because you’re scared to try something new. And maybe you keep it because it let you hide a few things you don’t like about yourself. So you hang on it. You try to manipulate it into being what you want. Pulling, tugging, permanently altering things about yourself to make it fit. [ 213 more words ]
http://ericathurman.com/split-ends-toxic-relationships-solution/
It’s hard to let it go because you’re attached to it but maybe you’re just comfortable with it because you’re scared to try something new. And maybe you keep it...Continue reading →
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