20/06/2026
A witness recently witnessed a residential burglary in east Lakeland, and called in a great description of the suspect, then he even followed the suspect to another home where he fled into.
The suspect was wearing a red shirt with “No Limits” printed on it. His name was Jason.
Deputies arrived at the house where Jason entered and knocked at the door.
Perry, the homeowner, spoke to deputies at the door but she was uncooperative and less than cordial.
All five of the people in the house denied knowing Jason however, deputies noticed one of the stolen bags.
Deputies said they would like to search Perry’s residence, but Perry said, and we carefully quote, “You ain’t going in my (rude adjective) house ‘cause I know you ain’t gonna get a warrant on my (same rude adjective) house!”
You could say many things about Perry, but being a clairvoyant is not one of them.
A detective got a warrant signed by a judge and a search commenced on Perry’s (no rude adjective) house.
And big surprise, stolen items were found. Also baggies, glass pipes, bongs, syringes, m**hamphetamine, and ma*****na.
Every. Single. Person. There. Was. Arrested.
Jimmy, Bobby, Alicia, and Katherine were all charged with possession of m**h and drug paraphernalia.
Perry the (rude adjective tossed-in because we’re feeling petty now) homeowner was charged with: possession of m**h, ma*****na, and drug paraphernalia, and for maintaining a structure for use of controlled substances.
And finally, Jason, who was found nearby, got charged with burglary, felony criminal mischief, felony petit theft, trespassing, and resisting.