I am going to start where I am now and go forward but don’t be suprised when I go backward as well. As with any story there are great accomplishments and huge disappointments. I am a 43 year old women who was recently sentenced to 7 years in federal prison for mortgage fraud. I must admit it hasn’t been an easy life for me up to this point. I have fought my way out of many a bad situation. Startin
g with getting pregnant at age 17 and married shortly after to going through 2 marriages and divorces by the time I was 21. I found myself a pregnant single mother with a 3 year old son and soon after my daughter was born I found comfort in prescription drugs. I wanted a better life for me and my children but I didn’t know how to get it. Those were hard times. Times of insecurity and loneliness. I remember my father saying, “Portia, you are like a freight train that can’t be stopped until you hit something” My emptiness and constant bad decisions led to a drug addiction and eventually to a level of misery very few people I know have encountered. I landed in my parents basement with 2 children who loved me and I couldn’t stop using drugs despite the pain I was causing them. My heart finally broke late one night when I came home to my parents house and my son Jace was watching out the window for me. My mom screamed, ” He has been there all night crying, just waiting for you! He has a fever and wont let me comfort him.” I was sickened at who I had become! My sweet son adored me and I was a terrible mom. I was a skinny unhealthy physically and spiritually sick person. I had been raised LDS but had no affiliation to my religion for years. Our bishop lived across the street and I knew he had asked my parents about me before so I reached out to him. I remember the first question the bishop asked me was, “Portia, why do you think you are where you are right now?” I said, “well, I have thought a lot about that and figured it out. It’s all my mothers fault.” Wow, you are probably the most selfish person I have ever met. ” He said. Bishop Ashby saved my life! That was the beginning of a miraculous recovery for me. I remember the moment that I realized that everything I had done was because I WANTED TO! It was all my choice. Sure I had experienced some trauma in my youth but I was raised by parents who loved me. My mom didn’t really believe in rules or consequences but none the less I had chosen my path. It was the only way for me to be free. I had to take accountability for my actions.
