04/09/2026
I want to start talking more openly about ADHD.
I was diagnosed at 53, after decades of wondering why I experienced the world differently from other people.
Recently, I was invited on ABC to talk about my ADHD and how I believe it may have contributed to my addiction. I really appreciated the opportunity because ADHD, addiction and late diagnosis all deserve more understanding. But for now, I declined.
I hate television, and speaking on camera is incredibly difficult for me. When I’m put on the spot, especially about something personal, I struggle to gather my thoughts and explain what I actually mean.
Ironically, that’s part of what I want people to understand about ADHD.
I’ve even tried recording myself for TikTok, Instagram and YouTube because I thought that might be a way for me to start raising awareness.
Nope. I can’t even bring myself to play the recordings back.
At this point in my life, being in front of a camera just isn’t for me. Maybe one day that will change.
For me, ADHD can bring an incredible intensity when something matters to me. One idea can quickly become ten, then suddenly my brain has a million things it wants to do. I become passionate and motivated and want to make things happen straight away.
That can probably seem overwhelming to other people, but it comes from genuine passion and wanting to make a difference. It’s actually something I love about myself.
But I’m also beginning to understand how much being misunderstood over the years has affected my confidence.
When you’ve spent decades having people, including family and friends, judge the way you think, react, communicate or become passionate about something, eventually you start questioning yourself.
I struggle sometimes to explain what I mean because I’m already worried that what I say will be taken the wrong way.
I second-guess myself. I overthink my words and how people are going to interpret them. Then I can become frustrated trying to explain myself, and sometimes that makes me come across completely differently from how I intended.
There have been times when people have thought I was attacking them when I genuinely wasn’t.
I was trying to explain myself, but the harder I tried, the worse it sometimes became.
I think years of that have affected my self-confidence more than I ever realised.
Even now, when I have something important to say, there’s sometimes a little voice in my head asking, “Am I explaining this properly? Are they going to misunderstand me again? Am I going to sound stupid? Are they going to think I’m too much?”
That’s also part of why being on camera is so difficult for me.
It’s not that I don’t have anything to say. Believe me, my brain has plenty to say.
It’s having the confidence to get those thoughts out without worrying about how I’m going to be judged or misunderstood.
ADHD isn’t an excuse for my behaviour. I take responsibility when I get things wrong. But understanding ADHD can help explain some of my impulsivity, emotional intensity, racing thoughts and difficulty finding the right words.
I’m learning to understand myself better, slow down and process things. I’m also exploring how decades of undiagnosed ADHD may have affected my addiction and the ways I tried to cope.
I’ve also learned that you need to be careful who you confide in.
When you trust someone enough to explain how differently your brain works, how you experience things or why you react in certain ways, you’re showing them a vulnerable part of yourself. When that vulnerability is then judged or misunderstood, it can really hurt.
AI has actually been a saviour for me in many ways. It helps me organise the million thoughts going through my head and put into words what I’m actually trying to say. It gives me time to process things and communicate more clearly instead of becoming overwhelmed or frustrated.
Understanding my ADHD isn’t only about learning how my brain works.
It’s also about rebuilding some of the confidence I lost during all those years when I didn’t understand myself and other people didn’t understand me either.
Declining the ABC interview doesn’t mean I don’t want to tell my story. And not being able to record myself for social media doesn’t mean I’m giving up on raising awareness.
It just means I haven’t found my way of doing it yet.
Maybe writing is where I start.
Eventually, I would love to do more to raise awareness about adult ADHD, late diagnosis and addiction. I don’t know exactly what that will look like yet, but I know it’s something I care deeply about.
For now, I’ll start here. One post and one conversation at a time.
If sharing what I’m learning helps even one person understand themselves, or someone they love, a little better, then it’s worth speaking about.
