Turnell Consulting

Turnell Consulting Working to keep children safe with families, not from families.

An approach that leads with action based safety plans, utilising natural networks, focused on belonging as an organising motif for transformational change within Childrens services agencies

Grace Tame started her presentation this week at the No To Violence conference in Hobart with this slide and the accompa...
13/03/2026

Grace Tame started her presentation this week at the No To Violence conference in Hobart with this slide and the accompanying statement
“With the greatest respect, f**k trigger warnings”
She went on to talk about the criticality of being able to lean into difficult conversations, to speak and to listen - even when it feel really uncomfortable
This is so important.
Domestic violence is an every person issue.
Talking about it is really uncomfortable. And that feels like an understatement.
For those of us with a lived experience this can feel terrifying - and we are waiting for the judgement, disbelief or even neutrality
For men who have chosen violence - with shame as a significant and driving emotion around power and control - the conversations are a whole lot more than uncomfortable. I imagine they feel terrifying and threatening.
For professionals - they are also scary and steeped in fear of getting it wrong and creating lore danger for everyone.

But. If we don’t. Then we accept the status quo.
And we simply cannot afford to do that. Not if we believe men’s violence toward women and children can be stopped

Today (and tomorrow) I attended the No To Violence conference via zoom into Tasmania. The introduction from Mark (Stoppi...
11/03/2026

Today (and tomorrow) I attended the No To Violence conference via zoom into Tasmania.
The introduction from Mark (Stopping Family Violence. WA) the key note from Thomas Mayo and the panels that followed were skilled intelligent informative and well facilitated.
There was so much learning for me today.
And this is one of the comments that stood out.
I do a lot of working and thinking about guiding principles, assumptions that shapes how we work - and I’ll be adding this gem from Tessa Boyd-Caine from ANROWS (Australian National Research Organisation for Women’s Safety)
It is a statement that creates hope. And vision.
For a world where women are safe from men hurting them.
“Men’s violence is not inevitable” we can work hard to have a world free from men’s violence. And both men and women will only benefit from that.
This is social change work, justice work, hard work. And it is absolutely essential 🙏🏼

Made a post on LinkedIn. Protective factors do not necessarily equate to safety. In cases of domestic abuse. Thought it ...
02/03/2026

Made a post on LinkedIn.
Protective factors do not necessarily equate to safety.
In cases of domestic abuse.
Thought it was pretty straightforward.
It’s a thing practitioners can get caught in. In CP. But often in other supporting agencies.
Lots of protective factors and lots of high emotion, a strong sense of not punishing women for men’s violence, can result in dangerous situations for kids.
And then.
Jake enters the conversation. 🤦
Hmmmm. You ok Jake?

Is it too much to ask for a nuanced conversation, grounded in research, statistics, evidence and experience?
Apparently yes.

I’ll say it again for this struggling to get it.
Yes. Women can and do use violence. I get it. And. Mostly it’s men. Against women. And children.

Male violence is grounded in power and control.
Women’s violence is (not always..) is reactive and resistive.

I’m glad Jake isn’t a children’s services social worker 😉

Can we please stop referring to cases / situations of domestic abuse as an ‘abusive relationship’ The ‘relationship’ is ...
21/01/2026

Can we please stop referring to cases / situations of domestic abuse as an ‘abusive relationship’

The ‘relationship’ is not abusive.

The person in a relationship choosing to use violence is abusive - not toxic, not ‘unwell’, not afflicted with a personality disorder - abusive. As a choice.

A relationship is a social construct.

Domestic abuse is a choice a person
(Usually a man)
makes to control, intimidate, instil fear in and harm or even kill their intimate partner (usually a woman but not always) and - if they have them - their children.

Say what you mean. Language is important.

*photo not relevant. Just me chilling by the pool. In Bali. As ya do!

It’s important to keep up with all the complexities we face when we work with domestic abuse cases. Knowing the intersec...
06/12/2025

It’s important to keep up with all the complexities we face when we work with domestic abuse cases. Knowing the intersections, being clear on the tactics of abusers, the impacts - immediate and secondary - the indicators of increasing risk, is so important in how we gather and make sense of the information (this is analysis!)
The links between gambling and domestic abuse are clear and need to be talked about and explored more

Link to research article in comments.

Scrolling through LinkedIn while waiting for my flight this morning I came across a post that shared this linked article...
15/11/2025

Scrolling through LinkedIn while waiting for my flight this morning I came across a post that shared this linked article.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/magscambridge_in-my-very-new-article-for-abc-australia-activity-7393539171954425857-gxst?utm_source=share&utm_medium=member_ios&rcm=ACoAAD0v26UB1ZuDfsKGYG-zKhX_v8gDCG0zkL4

It’s a well written and simply articulated piece about the intentionality of domestic abuse.

I am struck by the empathic curiosity Mags (the author) models in her positioning of the question posed to her at the conference she presented at.

Working in (residential) men’s behaviour change I have found the balance between a trauma informed, therapeutic approach and holding men accountable and responsible for their behaviours is one that constantly needs reflecting on, interrogating with ourselves and each other.

Like trying to stand and balance board, tipping one way and back the other - trying to be centred.

As we say in Child Protection - we need to compassion of Buddha and the mind of a steel trap. Too far either way is simply dangerous.

In September and I facilitated two training sessions in Kamloops, BC. One of the participants sketched this and handed ...
14/11/2025

In September and I facilitated two training sessions in Kamloops, BC.
One of the participants sketched this and handed it to me at the end of the day.
Me. Always at the whiteboard! And participants working
The diversity of the talent and creativity in children’s árboles workforce never ceases to impress me
This also happened to be my birthday ☺️

When magistrates are faced with children’s services professionals (or their agency appointed legal representation) seeki...
14/09/2025

When magistrates are faced with children’s services professionals (or their agency appointed legal representation) seeking a court order to remove children from their family and take parental responsibility for the child - why does the magistrates not ask the plans for making sure they can provide a higher level of care across all the developmental dimensions of the child, prior to granting the order? Detailed. Clear. Specific. Evidenced based (which is what families need to show to get them back right?)
Maybe some do? I’d be interested to hear.
Because, in my experience the only thing the children’s services agency has to ‘evidence’ is that the child is at risk of significant harm if they remain with their family.
They do not have to clearly and in detail explain how they will keep the child safe or even safer than they currently are.
The research around outcomes for children forcibly removed from families (deemed by the professionals to be in the ‘best interest’ of the child) is woeful at best and more often than not simply devastating.
So why isn’t the onus on the ‘state’ to show how they will do better? Rather than just showing how bad the child’s family are doing?
How many kids would go home / not come into ‘care’ if this was required.
Because you cannot and will not convince me that (especially) residential care ‘homes’ provide safety and well being for traumatised children. Try as they might. *this is a system issue not a personal attack of resi care staff or managers.
I’ve done this work (and often feel a sense of deep shame) and even though I may have provided ‘safety’ in one aspect of the child’s life the trauma abuse and lifelong inter generational damage done is immeasurable

09/08/2025

Can we stop diagnosing / discussing victim survivors (adult or child) with / as if they have a mental health disorder. When their responses to the abuse are ‘normal’ and expected human responses *this does mean that sometimes those behaviours could be harmful to a child

And

Can we please stop attributing blame for domestic abuse in all its forms to male ‘mental health’ problems. Men are responsible for the choices they make to use violence. *this doesn’t mean you cannot have compassion for traumatic life experiences.

Both are wrong. Both are dangerous.

05/08/2025

Let’s talk about parenting capacity assessments 😊

When I get told by practitioners that their agency ‘requires’ parenting capacity assessments I get a bit of an eye twitch!

In my experience these kind of assessments are:
☑️Expensive
☑️Include significant waiting times
☑️Don’t tell us much more than we already think we know
☑️Can be weaponised - to exclude families and make harsh judgements, doubling down on the confirmation bias at play - meaning children don’t get to be with the people they belong to
☑️ Can leave the allocated case worker feeling like they have to abide by the ‘result’ of the assessment even when they do not agree.
☑️Create significant anxiety and stress for families.
☑️Talk in language that is not understandable to the families.
☑️Further expand the power imbalance between the professionals and the family. (Note: families will always be the losing party in the power imbalance and by association, the child)
☑️Are not culturally sensitive.
☑️Are generally only focused on individuals (mum or dad) and dont take into account their capacity when they are supported by their village.
☑️Are not facilitated by the person who has the working relationship with the family and knows them well.
I could go on….
The best way to ‘assess’ capacity ;

Is to make it crystal clear to families what needs to happen along a timeline of a safety building process. With a clear and concrete set of expectations along a clear time frame. Building in opportunities for success by allowing in incremental amounts of ‘risk’ in intelligent ways with safety and support built in and evidenced.
Is to tell families what they need to do and ask them to show us they can do it.
Is to believe that families can and want to keep their kids safe.
Is to spend time with families when they’re with their kids. And gather your evidence that way. Don’t fob ‘family time supervisions’ off to a support worker. Go and see the kids with their family‼️

Please don’t say ‘I’m too busy to do that’ this is SO important.
Give them timely, clear feedback about where they are doing great and where some of the gaps are.
Offer them the opportunity to show you they can take it on board.

If they can’t/ won’t/ don’t. Then we know the ‘capacity’ is limited.

But at least we didn’t just rule it out.
At least we can say hand on heart we gave family every opportunity to show the statutory professionals they can keep their children safe from the dangers we identified from the harm the children have experienced.
And then. If the resultant intervention is that they can’t be safe with mum and or dad, then we work hard with family, community, the people with a natural connection to the child.
So we and they do everything possible to make sure they are connected in meaningful ways to the people they belong to.
To create a sense of safety in the reality of their kin.

That is just work, fair work. work that is grounded in compassion, guided by evidenced based analysis and is truly child and family system focused.

Showing up and giving feedback is fine and fun when it’s all good 👍🏻 But showing up with kindness, compassion and clarit...
05/08/2025

Showing up and giving feedback is fine and fun when it’s all good 👍🏻
But showing up with kindness, compassion and clarity when it’s a difficult conversation is HARD.
But please. Don’t tell me ‘we have such a great relationship’ if you’ve not been able to find a way to have the trickier, more painful or uncomfortable conversations.
Personally and professionally ☀️

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