04/30/2022
Well it's been a while since I have written here. So this is why I haven't been writing, I started to self destruct, at the time not knowing it I began to drink and do dope and make some stupid decisions. I thought my life was done,over, I had lost my son, he was my happy. I. A real failure and I have to look at myself every day. I hated myself. I got so bad. I was I a serious car accident,me and a girl friend of mine were driving and got lost. We pulled over and got some sleep. The next morning I woke up and the next thing I remember I was being taken out of my car by means of the jaws of life and a bunch of paramedics. I was hurt pretty bad. My right thigh bone was pushed backwards through my pelvis which destroyed my hip and shattered my pelvis. Also had some minor bleed on my spleen and my pancreas was bruised. The passenger had to have her spleen removed and she was hurt badly and is fine now. I am laying in a hospital bed rite now, this is the third stay since I had the accident. My hip was infected and I had to have emergency surgery. Well it lasted probably 28 hrs. Me screaming in pain because the pain meds dont work on infection because it can't be absorbed there. The doctor said he had to break the bone in order to get the old hardware out so he could put in a temporary replacement and I need another surgery when it's good, probably 6 weeks. I am trying to live with all my mistakes and I am trying to make it rite,so I can look in the mirror again. Love you my happy, u are a very special man Vincent and I love you more then yesterday and I will love you more tomorrow. After all of this I am starting to like myself again. I am looking after myself again. I want to live, want to be loved and I want a family again. The point if all this is to try and reach the person who thinks they are not worthy of life after the loss of a child. DONT SELF DESTRUCT . You will see your child when they want to see you.