08/22/2026
Michelle Ross Parry you are truly an inspiration to every special needs parent. 💜 The love, strength, and dedication you have for your sweet girl shines through in everything you do.🫶
Beautifully written 👏
Vulnerable post made for special needs moms
There’s something I’ve realized lately that has been a little hard for me to admit. Sometimes, as moms, we are the ones standing in the way. Not because we don’t believe in our kids. Not because we don’t want them to experience life. But because our instinct to protect them is so fierce that sometimes our fear takes over. I am one of those moms.
For so many years, my job has been to anticipate what could go wrong for Julia. What if she gets overwhelmed? What if she panics? What if she gets scared? What if something happens that I can’t immediately fix? When your child needs extra support, you get really good at thinking ten steps ahead. But as Julia has gotten older, I’ve started realizing that sometimes my fears are keeping her back, and that has been a big realization for me.
Recently, we were at an amusement park. Julia’s sister and her friend were going on the pirate ship — you know the ride that swings higher and higher, back and forth. My immediate reaction was basically, “Nope. Julia and I will sit this one out.” So there we were, sitting on the bench watching her sister, and I looked at Julia. Then I looked at the ride. Suddenly I thought, wait a minute. Why am I deciding she can’t do this?
Was Julia scared, or was I scared that Julia might get scared? Those are two very different things. I was worried she might panic. I was worried she might want off. I was worried something might happen that was outside of my immediate control. But our kids deserve the chance to find out what they love too.
So I let her go. She sat safely sandwiched between her sister and her sister’s friend, and off they went. And you guys… her smile was HUGE. She absolutely loved it.
Watching her on that ride, I realized something that seems so obvious now. Julia has always loved swinging. Movement feels good to her. That pirate ship wasn’t necessarily something she needed protection from. It was actually an amazing sensory experience for her. And I almost took that experience away from her because of my fear. That one stuck with me.
Then came another realization this summer. Julia is 15 now. Her usual summer routine would happily consist of being on her phone, watching TV and swimming once in a while. She spends time with her sister and sometimes her sister’s friends, and for a long time that felt good enough. But this summer I had this moment where I thought, she can’t just keep doing this.
Not because there’s anything wrong with quiet time or phones or TV — trust me, we all enjoy those things. But Julia needs a life that belongs to Julia. Her sister has her own friends, activities and experiences. Julia deserves that too.
So we tried our local community day program for people with disabilities. And again, I wondered how it would go. Would she like it? Would she feel comfortable? Would she want to stay? I dropped her off and gave her the opportunity to figure that out herself.
When I picked her up, she was so happy. She had made some friends. She hung out in the indoor sandbox, sang karaoke, swung on the big indoor swing, colored, ate with friends and played in the treehouse. She had a day. Her own day. Not her sister’s activity that she joined in on. Not something I organized around her. Something that was hers.
And when I picked her up, she wanted to know when she could go back. My heart could have burst.
These might seem like little things to some people, but I know there are moms reading this who will understand exactly what I mean. When you spend years protecting, advocating, preparing, anticipating and making sure your child is okay, it can be really hard to know when to loosen your grip. Protection becomes automatic, and sometimes we don’t even realize we’re doing it.
I’m learning that as Julia gets older, my job is changing. I will always protect her. I will always advocate for her. I will always be her safe place. But I also have to make sure that my fear doesn’t become the ceiling on her life.
Sometimes I have to let her try. Sometimes I have to let her surprise me. Sometimes I have to be uncomfortable so that she can grow. And sometimes I need to ask myself: is she afraid of this, or am I afraid for her? Because those aren’t always the same thing.
I’m sharing this because maybe another mom needs to hear it too. Maybe there is something your child wants to try and that fierce protective instinct is whispering all the reasons it could go wrong. I understand that voice. I have that voice too. But lately I’m trying to make a little more room for another question: what if it goes right?
What if they love it? What if they make a friend? What if they discover something that brings them joy? What if the thing we were afraid of letting them try turns out to be exactly where they shine?
I’m still learning. Julia is teaching me. And apparently sometimes this mom needs a reminder that protecting her child and letting her live fully can exist at the same time.
