27/05/2026
1. They won’t leave the property
Most divorce lawyers will advise you to protect yourself financially and remain in the family home until a settlement is reached. There can also be benefits to this within Children Act proceedings, so always obtain advice tailored to your circumstances.
If you fear for your safety and have somewhere safe to go, you may need to leave. If leaving isn’t possible, seek independent legal advice about the merits of an Occupation Order. These orders are not easy to obtain, as courts are cautious about making someone intentionally homeless and will consider whether alternative accommodation is realistically available.
In many cases, what I see instead are arrangements put in place for parties to remain in the home but avoid each other through structured timetabling.
If there are threats, violence, or concerns for your immediate safety, prioritise your protection and contact the police. Bail conditions can sometimes prevent an alleged perpetrator from returning to or coming near the home.
2. Abandoned financial responsibilities
Consider the child maintenance services to formalise and regularise everything. You want as little to no communication with them at this point so whilst CMS can be a frustrating process, they can only run and hide for so long.
Start financial remedy proceedings - this can be a lengthy drawn process but it’s best to get it started and moving. Take the control out of their hands and put in to the hands of the court.
3 & 4 - Contact
Talk to your children. Ask them questions. What makes them happy? Sad? Worried? What do they think about but don’t always say out loud? Create a safe space for them to speak without fear or pressure.
Read with them too. Books open doors to conversations children struggle to start themselves. I have an entire storefront of books - Comment “BOOKS” and I’ll send it to you.
And please, get independent legal advice at the START of proceedings if you can. Early advice and support can make an enormous difference moving forward.
5. Rewriting History
Anyone willing to believe harmful narratives about you without question was never meant to stay in your life. Let them go.
