14/10/2026
A heartfelt thank you
At Maldon Fields Crematorium, we would like to take a moment to thank our wonderful colleague Zoe for bravely sharing her personal experience below of baby loss.
Baby loss is a subject that can be incredibly difficult to talk about, and every family's experience of grief is unique. By sharing her story, Zoe has opened an important conversation, helping to raise awareness, break the silence and remind others that they are not alone in their grief.
We know that behind every story is a lifetime of love, memories and a bond that will never be broken. For those who have experienced the loss of a baby, the pain can be profound, and sometimes simply knowing that someone understands can make a difference.
We are incredibly grateful for her honesty, courage, and willingness to share something so deeply personal. Her words may offer comfort to someone who is struggling, and the courage for someone else to speak out about their own experience:
My Sienna
I woke up one morning feeling tender and sick, not thinking much of it I carried on with my day. Later in the morning I realised... I was late by a few days.
As we started to wrap our heads around becoming a family of 5. I experienced some complications. We decided to get checked and was lucky to be offered a scan the next day.
There was what looked like a tiny grain of rice on the screen fluttering like a butterfly, the Dr smiled and said that’s baby’s heart! - I felt instant relief knowing my baby was as perfect as could be and went back home.
My sickness was constant, I would wake up with nausea and go to bed with it, but I knew this was a good sign, my tiny butterfly was growing.
One morning I woke up and felt different. I didn’t feel sick, a sense of fear washed over me.
I knew something was wrong.
I had an emergency scan, and after what felt like hours, he said “Zoe I’m sorry, she has gone. There is no heartbeat.”
I don’t remember much of the days that followed, I started to shut down inside. I didn’t want to see or speak to anyone. I tried my hardest to be a normal mum for my sons, but they saw how broken I was.
Sienna didn’t want to leave me, as much as I didn’t want to give her up, so it was decided that surgery was needed.
The first time I left the house after losing her was to go and sign the consent forms. We were met by a cold woman, I will never forget her words “sign here, this is to say we can dispose of the foetal remains.”
Something lit a fire within my soul, I could not see Sienna spoken of like that, Damien called a funeral director, who arrived a short while later to take our precious girl into his care. He was the first professional who referred to our daughter by her name… something neither of us will ever forget.
We decided to have a small service at our local church, where the boys were both blessed as babies.
The next day we arrived at the crematorium. We sat and listened to an instrumental piece chosen by the crematorium staff and at the end of the song, I kissed my girls tiny white coffin one last time.
I was asked if I would like to see the Baby Garden. I followed unsure of what it would be like but as I entered the Forget me Not Baby Garden, for the first time in weeks, I felt calm.
Fast forward a year… I wanted to be a part of the change that needed to take place with how parents are treated and spoken to when suffering the loss of a precious baby.
I started a new career at the same crematorium where my Sienna was cared for. I took all the pain I felt, all the love that had no where to go, and I channelled it into making sure every Mum & Dad I looked after knew they were seen, heard, and that I cared deeply about them and what they were going through.
My arms could not hold my Sienna for long, but they became a place other mums came to for comfort, something I will never take for granted.
My precious Sienna 13.09.2016 - The girl who was always meant to be mine, who couldn’t stay, but she changed my life and career forever.
A Garden of Remembrance for Babies and Young Children
We believe every family deserves a place where they can reflect, remember and feel close to those they love.
Next spring, we are planning to create a special garden of remembrance for babies and young children. A quiet, secluded area within our Orchard has been set aside for this important and heartfelt project, offering a peaceful sanctuary for families to visit and remember.
Our initial plans include a beautiful ornamental shrub garden with a communal memorial, alongside dedicated specimen trees, and individual family garden plots, providing meaningful spaces for remembrance and reflection.
We want this garden to be a truly special place, created with care, compassion, and an understanding of how deeply important it will be to the families who visit.
In view of this, we welcome your suggestions for a name for the garden, one that reflects the love and lasting connections that will be held within it.
The Maldon Fields Team
