Financial Wellbeing

Financial Wellbeing Special Needs Trust Planning Dolores Crowley’s Story
I have 3 children, David aged 24 and twins, Sean & Kate 19. I just wanted David to live.

David was born prematurely at 28 weeks and weighed in at just under 2lbs. As we were both in intensive care at different hospitals, I didn’t hold him until he was nearly 3 weeks old. He had suffered a brain haemorrhage and his lungs had collapsed. His skin was transparent, he was not able to take a bottle, lost weight and was on a machine to help him breathe. Yet, when I eventually got to hold him

, I thought he was the most beautiful baby I had ever seen in my life. My only wish was for him to breathe, as I held him. It didn't matter what the consultants/nurses/doctors told me. I love David as I do all my children, but I have greater concerns for his future. I am involved in Financial Wellbeing because I feel I can understand parents, having been a Carer for my mum for over 30-years and now for David. I want to be there to give parents the knowledge that I have attained as a Carer. David Crowley’s Story
I started working with Financial Wellbeing in October 2014. I also ask people to sign up to our free monthly newsletter and get the names and email address of the people we meet at different events. I add these names to the database and I proof read our newsletter to check for any spelling mistakes. I attend all the workshops and I do the opening and closing formalities. I also organise the sat-nav so we can find the venues and I prepare the room for the workshop. I like to wear my Financial Wellbeing t-shirt. I like to go for a cup of tea with Allan and Dolores and discuss how the workshops went. I write articles about different things that I find interesting, I hope everyone likes these. Allan Cuthbert’s Story
I am married to Lisa and we have two children, Zara is 16 and Ryan is 14. My niece Laura was born in 2000 with Down Syndrome and this was our family’s first introduction into the special need’s world. It was not until years later that I realised the financial pressures that is put on a family with a child who has additional needs. It shocked me how difficult it was for my brother Pierce, and other parents, to gather information and professional advice, not only on finance but on lots of aspects of their child’s care. That was when I decided that I wanted to make a difference. I founded Financial Wellbeing in 2008, a company dedicated to Special Needs Trust Planning. It gives me great joy to help ease the financial worries of parents who are raising a child with additional needs. This is my way of helping parents who are constantly faced with difficult choices and challenges.

As a Carer, you might have many gaps in your social insurance records as you have been providing full-time care for your...
02/04/2026

As a Carer, you might have many gaps in your social insurance records as you have been providing full-time care for your child. This has lots of consequences and one major issue is that you may not have a sufficient PRSI record to qualify for the State Pension (Contributory).

However, there are now 3 schemes to help parents who have lived with the person they were caring for and provided full-time care. In some circumstances, you may qualify if you did not live with the person being cared for, but you provided full-time care.

Homemaker’s Scheme
Home Caring Periods
Long-Term Carers Contributions
The Homemaker’s Scheme or Home Caring Periods can be awarded in the instance where you were caring for your child up to a maximum of 20 years. The Scheme makes it easier for a carer to qualify for a higher rate of State Pension (Contributory) when you reach pension age.

A new Long-Term Carers Contribution scheme was introduced in January 2024 to help long-term carers access the State Pension (Contributory). You can be awarded a Long-Term Carers Contribution for each week that you provided care once you have provided a minimum of 20 years in total.

Whether you have only small gaps in your records or years to back fill then take action today. If you will struggle with providing proof of your carer’s role then the department will work with you on this.

You can apply for Pension Caring Supports online at MyWelfare.ie. You must have a verified MyGovID account to apply. For more info https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tNlJQSGuWns

Decision, Decisions. A Thank You to Parents Walking This Road By DoloresWhen I wrote my recent article about Decisions...
26/03/2026

Decision, Decisions. A Thank You to Parents Walking This Road By Dolores

When I wrote my recent article about Decisions, Decisions about wondering whether I am encouraging David or pushing him, I didn’t expect the flood of responses that followed.

What I received from parents was something far more powerful than advice.

I received honesty.
I received vulnerability.
I received solidarity.
And most importantly, I received reassurance.

To every parent who took the time to write, Thank You. Your words helped me more than you may ever realise.

One mum wrote something that has stayed with me: “Sorry, I can’t give any advice except the piece I give myself. That is, that all the decisions we make are done with our heart in the right place at that time.” That line stopped me in my tracks.

How many of us look back and question ourselves?
And yet, every single decision is made from love. From the best information we have at that time. From knowing our child in a way no one else ever will.

Another parent shared her experience of Relationship Development Intervention (RDI). What struck me most was not the therapy itself, but the philosophy: “They are allowed to make the wrong choices too, the exercise isn’t about the choice they make, but about building the connections in the brain to MAKE thought-through choices in the first place.”

That reframed so much for me.
It’s about helping our sons and daughters build the capacity to think, process and decide, even if that includes learning from uncomfortable outcomes.

The same parent shared her experience of Tomatis Sound Therapy for her son and how it worked. I had never heard of it before, and she also spoke about how the “mother’s programme” was open to everyone, and that support is not only for the child, but for the whole family. That message felt important to me as we are allowed to receive support too.

So many of you echoed the same tension: Mums and Dads.

“If left to their own devices, they might choose the bedroom, the headphones, the safe space. But if we gently encourage, sometimes firmly insist, they often return glad they went.”

One mother wrote that she tells her other children, “We had to bring the world to him, because he couldn’t go out and get it himself.”That line will stay with me forever and brought a tear to my eye. Such Love.

Society now is all about autonomy and choice (and it should be). Choice is important. But parents of adults with additional needs know something that policy and theory often miss:

Choice without guidance (or encouragement) can sometimes lead to isolation.
Independence without the right support can sometimes shrink a life rather than expand it.

One mother summed up her role in three simple statements:

I am my child’s mother. My role is to ensure he is safe and looked after.
I am my child’s mother. My job is to teach him as much independence as possible his whole life.
I am my child’s mother. My aim is for him to experience as much of this world as possible because experiences help growth and development.
Safety.
Independence.
Experience.

That is the balance we walk every single day.

Many of you spoke about guilt. About wondering if you are too pushy. About worrying what others think. About questioning whether a “no” is anxiety speaking or a firm boundary that must be respected.

But you also reminded me of something powerful:

We know our children.
We know when “no” means no.
And we know when “no” means “I’m scared, anxious or just plain stubborn 😊

Those decisions or understanding don’t come from a textbook. It comes from years, sometimes (in my case) decades, of living, watching, listening and loving.

One parent of a now 29-year-old son, who was once told he might only live a few years, wrote about how in the past, children like ours were left in rooms, left without stimulation or opportunity. We are not doing that.

We are keeping their brains active.
We are keeping their worlds open.
We are keeping possibility alive.

And perhaps most importantly, we are supporting one another. Something I’m not used to, as I never joined groups, etc., when David was growing up and its still something that I have to work at. Although reading the emails, I have found a community that speaks the same language of love.

That is what your emails did for me. They reminded me that I am not alone in this constant balancing act between stepping back and stepping in. So if you are reading this and questioning yourself, like I did, please hold onto this: You are making decisions with your heart in the right place at that time. And that is all any of us can do.

With gratitude to every parent walking this road beside me.

Dolores.

Yes, the parade is on and we can’t wait to celebrate. If you, like myself and David,love going to the St. Patrick’s day ...
12/03/2026

Yes, the parade is on and we can’t wait to celebrate. If you, like myself and David,
love going to the St. Patrick’s day parade, I must tell you what worked for us (after years of stress!!).

This was in Cork City, and I’m very hopeful it can happen in your county too.

I phoned the city hall in Cork and explained I had a young man with different abilities who is
a wheelchair user and would like to attend the parade with his mother and a friend who also
attends the National Learning Network. I was put through to a Patrick’s Day Event
Coordinator in the City Hall, (up till then I didn’t know this existed in Cork) spoke to a lovely
lady who took our names and details and booked us in a designated area for people with
different abilities and told us roughly what time to attend.

On the day, we left early to get a wheelchair space and arrived at the designated area, which
was blocked off on Patrick Street right in front of the passing parade. We met with another
lovely lady who had a list of attendees in her book. She ticked us off and brought forward a
seat for me and David’s friend. She came over to us a few times to see where we ok during
the parade. There was only, I guess a certain number of places available, and it was booked in
advance.

For David, there was no pushing, shoving, or saying excuse me every time I moved the
wheelchair. It was very comfortable and fun (it didn’t even rain on the day!)
David was able to totally enjoy the day and see the floats passing easily.
So, if you are venturing to a parade on the 17th, give the city hall in your county a call. You
never know, this could be in your part of the world too.

Great service and well done to all involved.

I was in the office recently when I got a call from Tom (not his real name), who had been at one of our previous webinar...
26/02/2026

I was in the office recently when I got a call from Tom (not his real name), who had been at one of our previous webinars. He eventually got around to completing his Will with his solicitor, but felt something was wrong when he signed it.

I asked a number of questions and was absolutely shocked to hear what the solicitor had professionally advised Tom and his wife to do.

The Will Tom signed would transfer all his assets upon his passing to his wife (and vice versa). There is nothing wrong with this and logical thinking. But it’s the next part of the advice that shocked me. His son with additional needs, who is in his late 20s, was disinherited from the Will, and his sister, who is married and working, is now the sole beneficiary of the family’s estate.

When both parents pass away, she will inherit everything: the family home, any savings, pensions and assets are all going to be hers. Her brother will not get a penny.

It is beyond comprehension how anyone could think of making someone financially poor and totally reliant on the state and the HSE as being in their best interest.

The only mention in the Will was that his sister would “look favourably on him.” To me, this is not legally binding and too wishy-washy.
I first spoke to Tom about why he wanted to pay the Revenue so much of his hard-earned money. Because the parents’ estate is not being split equally between two siblings, the sister will be over her personal threshold for inheritance tax, so she will need to pay Revenue 33% inheritance tax.

The second area was what would happen to the brother if he ever fell out with his sister. In Tom’s Will, he has taken away his son’s power and financial independence. His sister is under no legal obligation to do anything for her brother. I am sure she is a kind person and has great love for her brother.

In my mind, the solicitor hasn’t really considered the brother and what would happen if his sister falls on hard times. During the next recession, she may run into financial difficulties, as so many families did, and the bank or another financial institution will come looking for their money.

I finally asked Tom how strong his daughter’s marriage was, and he thought that was strange. I asked because if she were ever to get a divorce, what would happen to any money she inherited for her brother? Will the ex-husband separate his wife’s financial situation from her brothers’?
It is highly unlikely.

I could have gone on, but to be fair, Tom knew the Will wasn’t suitable, but just signed it anyway. It was not his fault. I suppose in all walks of life, there are times we are totally reliant on the professional we hire, and we assume they know better.

This is not the first I have heard this type of advice.

In my opinion, no person with additional needs should be disinherited from their parents’ Will, and they should inherit more than their siblings, NOT less.

Decisions, Decisions by DoloresI’ve been turning this over in my head for a long time, and I’m hoping other parents migh...
24/02/2026

Decisions, Decisions by Dolores

I’ve been turning this over in my head for a long time, and I’m hoping other parents might help me think it through.

I’m a mum to David, who’s 30 now, and like so many of you, I truly believe that everyone, with disabilities or not, should have the right to make their own decisions.

That matters to me more than anything. David is a good person with great stamina, loves a few rules, likes to socialise, and loves people and interaction.

Yes, I am a proud mum.

He does have intellectual difficulties; he struggles with time, money, and consequences. Some things he doesn’t understand, such as simple comprehension, but then he’s a wizard at technology and really surprises me in so many ways.

I want him to live his life to the best of his ability, and I want to be here for as long as I can to support him in any way I can. He does have the ability to learn, but not always understand. I hope this makes sense to you?

But here’s where I get stuck.

If David were left completely to his own devices and decisions he’d happily stay in his room watching TV or playing PlayStation all day. And listen, we all love a bit of downtime. But I also know that if that is all he did, it wouldn’t be great for him in the long run. As I said, he loves to socialise, but that initial push may always be needed.

So at 30 years of age, do I step back and say, “That’s his choice”?

Or do I still encourage him to get out, to try things, to be part of the world? Because I do know he will enjoy it.

I also know this: if I don’t encourage a little, he’ll miss out.

A recent example really brought this home to me. The Cork Opera House had a fabulous Christmas concert. I just knew David would enjoy it not only the music, but getting out, going for dinner beforehand, and being around people. Of course, his first answer was “no.” It nearly always is. But he went.

And guess what? He had a great night. He enjoyed most of it, soaked up the atmosphere, and came home happy. If I had left it up to him, he would never have left his bedroom, and that makes me wonder what else he might miss if I always accept that first “no.”

It’s the same with smaller things too. Going for a spin, No. Let’s go for a coffee today, No. Will we go to Fota and see the animals? No. Will we go and get your haircut in your favourite barbershop? No. At the start, it’s always “no, no, no.” And then once he’s there, he enjoys himself.

Ok, I know he doesn’t like the cinema and that has always been a No, and I can see this is the right answer for David.

There are a few people he will always go to see, and if I mention going to the Munster Driving Campus, it’s always a Yes (so, he can make up his mind).

So am I forcing him, or am I supporting him?

Sometimes I think, maybe I should just say, “Okay, stay in your room, if that’s what you want” and let it be. He’d probably be content enough. I feel that would be the start of a downfall for him.

But would he be fulfilled? I’m not so sure. I feel like if I don’t gently challenge him, I’m denying him experiences; my intentions are good, and I’ve seen him thrive. I also know and see such wonderful potential he has.

The same thing happens in his day centre. When there’s a trip planned, his immediate response is that he’s not going. A couple of times, staff respected that and let him stay behind. But when he did go after reassurance and encouragement, he had an absolutely brilliant day. One time, they told me he was the star of the show and loved every minute.

And that leaves me torn.

Where do we draw the line between respecting choice and giving support?
Between listening to “no” and recognising when that “no” might really mean “I’m anxious”, unsure” or stubborn?

I honestly don’t know the answer. I’m just a mum trying to do right by her son.

So I’m throwing it out there to you parents who understand this better than anyone else.

What do you do?
Do you step back?
Do you gently push?
How do you find that balance?

I’d really love to hear your thoughts

A message from David:“Download the Santa app, and Santa will give you constant updates on where the sleigh is headed nex...
24/12/2025

A message from David:
“Download the Santa app, and Santa will give you constant updates on where the sleigh is headed next.

Go to bed early after watching the 6.00 news… and remember Santa can always spot a faker.”

Did you know that Santa may be entitled to a VAT refund on specific toys that he delivers to children with special needs...
16/12/2025

Did you know that Santa may be entitled to a VAT refund on specific toys that he delivers to children with special needs?

The most common items on Santa’s list are

IPads & tablets

Computers

Apps (communication, speech, etc.)

Eating and drinking aids

Mobility Aids

Communication aids

Specific footwear

The rule for Santa is that the toy must be specifically for your child and assist them in some way for communication or independent living. To strengthen Santa’s application, then, a letter from a therapist /professional/doctor recommending the items makes a huge difference.

Before you ask Santa for this item, you can contact Revenue to check if you can reclaim the VAT and they will inform you of the steps. Santa will also need a specific VAT refund form which you can download on the revenue website.

https://www.revenue.ie/en/vat/repayments-to-unregistered-persons/disabled-persons/reclaim-vat-aids-appliances.aspx #:~:text=You%20may%20reclaim%20Value%2DAdded,made%20on%20Form%20VAT%2061A.

I hope Santa is kind to all our families and I want to take this opportunity to wish you all a great Christmas.

Merry Christmas Everyone,

Allan

Looking for SantaFinding the right Santa, can feel like a challenge. It has to be done and we need to look at where we a...
09/12/2025

Looking for Santa

Finding the right Santa, can feel like a challenge. It has to be done and we need to look at where we are going, how it’s set up and again as parents we have to plan for the day. We all want that spark of joy, seeing our children smile and just to have that special memory.

Some counties now offer a sensory-friendly Santa or an hour where everything is a little bit calmer and the elves have more understanding, even if you’re bringing an older adult along too!

Family Carers Ireland in your area might be able to point you in the right direction, and even local city halls can surprise you with suggestions if you give them a call. And don’t underestimate radio stations, send in a text and you might have half the county offering ideas!

Parents are great to phone in with options, I find.

After many Christmases with David, we’ve learned that sometimes the simplest moments turn out to be the most special. More than once, Santa has “just happened” to be in the shopping centre at the exact same time we were. A quick whisper to an elf, a discreetly passed gift… and suddenly David is beaming as Santa hands it to him. It’s bringing a smile to my face, just thinking of the lovely memories.

If your child (no matter what age) believes, especially when all around you don’t, it can bring a little more magic to the world. I’ve always felt there’s no harm in embracing that, especially as it’s what my son wants. I’m all for keeping our children happy and letting them experience Christmas their way. It may take patience, tolerance, and a lot of acceptance from us, but the joy is worth it.

With any luck, Santa will be visiting your child’s school or organisation, and you’ll be able to make the day even more meaningful.

I used to have great fun with my children after the school Christmas show, as when we got into the car the Elves had seen them, left a note to say that they had popped into the school hall, and thought they were great on stage. The kid’s eyes would light up, of course, you can’t tell the other children in the school that this happened, as it may not be fair!

It’s just as well I adore Christmas, because with David, I’m blessed to have the Christmas magic in my home all year round.

The Christmas Bonus 2025 is an extra payment for people getting a long-term (over 12 months) social welfare payment such...
05/12/2025

The Christmas Bonus 2025 is an extra payment for people getting a long-term (over 12 months) social welfare payment such as Carer’s Allowance, Carer’s Benefit, Disability Allowance and Domiciliary Care Allowance. Your payment will come in automatically with your qualifying payment.

When is the Christmas Bonus 2025 paid?

A Christmas Bonus of 100% of your normal weekly payment will be paid at the beginning of December to people getting a qualifying social welfare payment. For Domiciliary Care Allowance, which is paid monthly, the bonus is 100% of the weekly calculated rate.

Christmas and New Year payment dates

The date on which you receive your social welfare payments may change during the Christmas and New Year period. Your weekly payment between the 15th – 19th of December is unchanged, and you will receive an advanced payment for the following week.

For more information https://www.gov.ie/en/

Just to finish the year off on a small positive note.

Parents from January 2026 will see the Domiciliary Care Allowance increasing by €20 per month, Carer’s Allowance and Carer’s Benefit will increase by €10 per week.

Happy Christmas,

Allan

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