25/08/2018
https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=2255660781129315&id=100000562440970
Vale mucho la pena ver este video!! 😉
Survival methods for infants may cause developmental trauma with aftereffects that travel far into the future with strong negative effects on learning, relationships, health and more!
You see the clips on YouTube and other social media. The noise from the child crying is sometimes muted and replaced with birds song and nice music. But if you look at the child you can see he is in deep distress.
If you put yourself in his place you can feel how terrified and abandoned he feels. He feels like drowning, over and over again. His life is on the line. He feels it! He cries for help. But there is no one to help and save him from the horror.
Instead what he experiences is that it's the ones he should be able to trust, for safety and security, who are the ones that deliberately and repeatedly is causing this terror.
He cries until he gives up - he learns that no one will save him. He abandons himself. He holds himself back, don't let himself feel his feelings. He ends up passive.
But he still loves his Mom and Dad, because that is what children do. He finds ways to cope but under the surface there is a wound that will cause difficulties for him and his family far into the future if not healed.
These methods are nothing but abusive! They cause physical and mental trauma. And NO praise in the world takes away the harm it causes to these children.
Children adapt to their world and the life experiences their parents and other caregivers give them. It can sometimes seem as they cope well, but that is just an illusion. We are social and emotional beings and sooner or later our emotional scars effect our life in various ways. And right now neuroscience is revealing more and more of how harmful, neglectful and traumatic events have negative effects on our brain and our future when experienced in childhood.
The Swimming industry has taken a strong stand against violent techniques used on children to "make them safe" and is working towards raising awareness so that we all can help protecting both children and parents from these deeply harmful methods.
During the last two days of the conference in Australia, Frances Waters, family therapist and trauma specialist spoke about the serious negative effects on children (+ parents, parent-child relationship and also teachers) these traumatizing experiences have.
It was a very welcomed presentation, which was both difficult to watch and listen to yet very important information.
In short the aftermath is that it changes the child's brain. It affects their development and their ability to attach to adult caregivers.
What children often show and suffer is symptoms of PTSD:
- Flashbacks, and nightmares.
- Emotional numbness and avoidance. Going into a dissociative state in places, with people, and activities that are reminders of the trauma.
- Increased arousal such as difficulty sleeping and concentrating, feeling jumpy, and being easily irritated and angered and later may have thoughts about su***de.
Other effects which are also worth considering are how these programs numb parents and teachers from intuitive and important responses to a child in need.
If you are a parent who has signed your child up to these lessons I know that you did it with good intentions. Often driven by fear maybe because of a drowning or near drowning experience. But this is not the way to keep your child safe. This will only harm and scar him (and you) for life.
If you are the parent who has had or has your child in these programs - take your child and run! Find a swim school where there is no force, where children and parents are happy to come! Your child will learn and gain more.
If your child and you need to heal, find a developmental trauma specialist where you can get help. It is possible to heal.
If you are a teacher in these methods - resign! Now! There are swim schools that will teach you how to work wonders in water and instead of harm do good. There are only one way to teach children well, they need to feel safe and secure in the relationship with their teachers and parents. Then children are happy and learn more and are able to make a positive difference in their lives. In these swim schools you will grow and learn human skills that will benefit you and your future life and health.
If you are a provider of these methods - stop! Read and learn more about what matters to children in order to grow up into healthy strong individuals. Read more about the impact of healthy dependable and caring relationships. I guess you have your reasons to why you do what you do. Still I encourage you to be brave and don't defend something that is causing harm just because it's your beliefs. Sometimes our beliefs are wrong - just as we once thought the earth was flat.
I would love to hear your story about how you walked away from these harmful methods into something more healing.
For you who are in the swim school where happy babies and parents learn. Keep educating yourself. Read and attend conferences. Share your knowledge and educate those you teach too. What you do matters, you touch lives, both babies and their parents (and/or other caregivers).
Walk the talk with a loud and clear voice stating that swimming lessons:
- Always respect children's uniqueness (all ages)
- Are tailored to children's needs and level of development
- Make learning fun, enjoyable and trigger children's curiosity
- Is predictable, and always dependable and caring.
- Keeps and supports children and parents together
In my new book, "Happy Babies Swim", I have written a word of warning to parents about these programs and end it with a word of important advice to parents:
"Never let a program, or a teacher, suggest a method that feels odd or numbs your empathy. Your instincts allow you to meet your child’s needs of asking for help if he is feeling stressed. It’s not our children’s responsibility to keep themselves safe - it’s ours! Your baby naturally trusts that you are taking full responsibility for his safety."
A reason for writing the book "Happy Babies Swim" was because we need to be aware of the important aspects of the relationship and not just calling it a children's activity but actually making it one.
That we can do if we learn and know more - my contribution to this is this book. A book for parents (and teachers) to get inspired by and to get the best out of swimming for and with their child.
In the book I share all the important things that you need to know so you can make water, because of it's characteristics, into a place and an activity that is as enjoyable and beneficial for you, as for your baby!
You’ll emerge from the classes an even better parent—of a child who is thoroughly at ease, confident and capable in the water and ready to embrace life and reach his full potential!
Thank you to Frances Waters, to the Australian Swim School Association, The International Swim School Association, Swim School Owners, Teachers and Parents who have taken a strong stand against these methods and work for a trauma free teaching environment for children.
Together we stand strong!
