27/10/2023
A Little about Myself
BEING DIFFERENT
We all have differences and stories about our childhood,lives, and how we deal with people. Well, in my case I guess I am indeed different. I was the girl who doesn't talk much. Instead I create my own world, in my head. I am the girl whom sometimes can be called "weird". The girl who is obsessed with galaxies,stars,planets and everything about Science. Staying inside my bubble gave me a reason to learn more. I've learned several languages:Russian,Italian and French. I wasn't very fluent since learning a language takes a lot of time and effort. The funny thing is that when I try to construct my own sentence I mix them up, which annoys me so much. But, I thought staying inside my bubble, my comfort zone is good enough. But I was wrong. Very wrong.
While I was busy obsessing about Science and languages, and being a "nerd" if that's what others call it, I didn't realize there is still a big world outside. I didn't realize I was being left out, just because I was busy creating my own world. Whenever I try to socialize and meet people, I have this feeling where you start sweating and your heart palpitates so hard it would have gotten out of your chest if it wasn't for your ribs,it was the worst feeling. The feeling of being out of place. Being different is difficult, no one can understand you. There is no one to share your thoughts with. You are afraid to talk to people because you think they might judge you, or talk behind your back. I get that feeling. Even our neighbors doesn't see me often because I was always staying home, afraid to go out. At first, I thought I was just a form of shyness. I was wrong. Again. Social Anxiety disorder, is an intense persistent fear of being watched or judged by others. Well, as what they call a nerd, I found out I have SAD through the internet. I searched through types of disorders and their symptoms, I searched through psychologists and medical doctors who can have the information I needed and I've read books. I have SAD and I kept it a secret. I didn't let my intrusive thoughts consume me, so instead of overthinking, I tried to fight it off. I made friends and tried to socialize. I was doing great so far.
There is much more than just staying in my comfort zone. I realized there is much more in this world, a lot of opportunities. I thought making friends is like climbing the top of the Mt. Everest but I was wrong, it was a piece of cake. A little talk, and boom. You've got youself a new friend. I just wish I tried to come out of my comfort zone sooner, it was a lot of fun. "Sometimes the best things in life are unexpected". Faith Sullivan is right. It was unexpected for me to make new friends, socialize and adjust. It's even unexpected that I am writing this. Creating your own world inside your head isn't bad, just make sure you don't get stuck, or else you will regret it. Just like me.
Wanted to post my journalism entry😅
