16/08/2026
I have been married for two years, Alhamdulillah, and we have one son. My husband is a very handsome, hardworking, and loyal person. He prays regularly, and I completely trust him. However, my husband is intimate with me only once a month. Sometimes I wish he would be intimate with me more often, but he only does it once a month. Sometimes he does not initiate intimacy for even two months.
He says that being intimate too often makes the body weak and that it is better to do it within limits. He takes very good care of his body and goes to the gym. I also know that he is loyal and does not have an affair with anyone else.
Once, my husband went to another city for two months. During that time, I started talking to my cousin and became emotionally close to him. He is unmarried, and now he has proposed to me. He says that I should leave my husband and go with him. I also kissed him once, and I feel that I have committed a sin.
I do not want to leave my husband, but my cousin is pressuring me to marry him. He has my call records and chats. I am very scared. If he tells my husband about everything, I fear my husband may leave me, and it would deeply hurt him. Please advise me. What should I do?
Sister, the first thing you need to recognize is that the greatest problem in your situation is no longer your husband's low level of intimacy—it is the relationship that developed with your cousin. Islam teaches us: “Do not even go near zina.” (Qur’an 17:32). Allah did not only prohibit zina itself; He prohibited the paths that lead to it. Emotional attachment, private conversations, romantic feelings, and kissing a non-mahram are all dangerous steps that can destroy marriages and families. Your cousin's proposal while you are married is not a sign of sincerity or honor. A man who encourages a married woman to leave her husband for him is inviting her towards the destruction of her marriage rather than helping her preserve it. You must immediately end all private contact with him, block communication if necessary, and sincerely repent to Allah.
As for your husband, he is not perfect, and it appears that your need for intimacy has not been properly addressed. A husband should be concerned about his wife's emotional and physical needs just as a wife should be concerned about his. Have an honest, respectful conversation with him about how this issue is affecting you. However, do not let his shortcomings become a justification for what happened with your cousin. Right now, your priority should be sincere tawbah, cutting off the unlawful relationship completely, protecting your marriage, and rebuilding your connection with your husband. If your cousin attempts to pressure, threaten, or manipulate you using messages or call records, do not give in. Fear Allah more than you fear exposure. Many marriages have survived serious mistakes through sincere repentance, honesty, and change. But continuing this relationship will only make the situation worse.
May Allah accept your repentance, protect your marriage and your child, remove harmful attachments from your heart, and guide you and your husband toward love, trust, and righteousness. Ameen 🤲
And Allah knows best.
