Freeborn County Crime Victim's Crisis Center

Freeborn County Crime Victim's Crisis Center Freeborn County Crime Victims Crisis Center provides support and education to empower the community

As Department of Human Services Crime Victim's Crisis Center, our goal is to partner with other community agencies to provide resources, suppport, and services to all people in need of assistance from victimization of Abuse, Domestic Violence, Sexual Assault, Harassment, Stalking, Threats, Intimidation and causing fear to an individual for their safety and well being.

On Wednesday, October 4, 2023, at 2:20 p.m. EST / 12:20 p.m. MST, a nationwide test of the Emergency Alert System will t...
09/28/2023

On Wednesday, October 4, 2023, at 2:20 p.m. EST / 12:20 p.m. MST, a nationwide test of the Emergency Alert System will take place. All cellphones will broadcast a loud, blaring sound, like an Amber Alert, and then display a text message with additional information. This could be a safety concern for survivors who have “secret” phones that they are trying to hide from abusers. To prevent this, and any local or national alerts, from sounding, phones can be powered off, turned to airplane mode, or they can be turned off in the phone’s settings, if an option is available to do so. More information about Emergency Alerts can be found here: https://www.fema.gov/emergency-managers/practitioners/integrated-public-alert-warning-system/public/wireless-emergency-alerts (https://linkprotect.cudasvc.com/url?a=https%3a%2f%2fwww.fema.gov%2femergency-managers%2fpractitioners%2fintegrated-public-alert-warning-system%2fpublic%2fwireless-emergency-alerts%23more&c=E,1,S_e7dfbDnK7WH-Bpug6voXwkIMaWZJa4MqdtJeXL8gmUVxr-TbynRDRdrC_hkh03YPgJ-M3IEmvtbJLuXcBIaBDyti62XG_Olx3LEY5tHVV1fSaz&typo=1)

Wireless Emergency Alerts (WEAs) are short emergency messages from authorized federal, state, local, tribal and territorial public alerting authorities that can be broadcast from cell towers to any WEA‐enabled mobile device in a locally targeted area. Wireless providers primarily use cell broadcas...

We remember Sarah Kathryn Patrick, the twenty-fourth confirmed victim of intimate partner homicide in Minnesota in 2023....
09/18/2023

We remember Sarah Kathryn Patrick, the twenty-fourth confirmed victim of intimate partner homicide in Minnesota in 2023. Learn more here: https://www.vfmn.org/we-remember

Melanie and her daughter Hannah.
09/12/2023

Melanie and her daughter Hannah.

Mary A. Corneliusen
09/12/2023

Mary A. Corneliusen

Gaslighting Part 2 continued Signs you’re being gaslitThere are other common misconceptions about the nature of gaslight...
08/07/2023

Gaslighting Part 2 continued Signs you’re being gaslit
There are other common misconceptions about the nature of gaslighting, experts said. If a loved one disagrees with you or tries to change your mind, prefers to be “right” in an argument, or acts surprised when confronted — that’s not necessarily gaslighting. Neither is someone trying to minimize their hurtful behavior or cast doubt on your opinions or perspectives, Vermani said.

Gaslighters “are typically emotionally abusive people — often with low self-esteem — who wish to control others rather than engage in mutually respectful relationships that require consideration, empathy, compassion and kindness,” Vermani said. “They seek ways to undermine and overpower someone they fear losing, regardless of the damage to their target.”

But generally, gaslighters often “intentionally lie and deceive to confuse their target,” Vermani said, or deny their own lies or their target’s truth, “even in the face of evidence to the contrary.”

Gaslighters often isolate targets from their social circles by insinuating their friends don’t have their best interests in mind to weaken their sense of reality and self, experts said. They might say, “Even if you were to tell other people about what’s happening, you wouldn’t be believed because people know you to be irrational or make things up,” Kennedy said. All these statements serve to make the victim more dependent on the gaslighter.

Other signs or effects of gaslighting can include thinking the other person’s feelings always seem to matter more than yours, or being constantly anxious or tense around the person, said Duygu Balan, a psychothera**st specializing in trauma and attachment wounding in the San Francisco Bay Area. You might also refrain from sharing how you feel out of worry that the gaslighter is going to overreact, call you names or make fun of you.
The degree to which a person gaslights someone else can vary, but gaslighting is always emotional abuse, whether intentional or not, experts said.

And gaslighting can have insidious consequences, especially after a long period of time.

“You start wondering if you’re the reason why this person is doing this to you,” Vermani said. “That self-doubt can be quite damaging on an intrinsic level. You make excuses for the other person’s behavior because that person makes excuses for their behaviors. … You go out of your way to protect them sometimes because you believe that they’re smarter or more capable than you are.”

Your ability to trust your gut might also suffer.

“Over time, the effect of gaslighting can erode your self-respect and your ability to choose healthy situations for yourself that are going to make you happy and be fulfilling,” Kennedy said.

Confronting the problem
If you feel safe enough to confront the person who might be gaslighting you, first focus on setting boundaries with them, experts said. It might be helpful to share your detailed experience of their behavior rather than simply telling them, “I feel like you’re gaslighting me.”

Additionally, “you might end the conversation or disengage and say, ‘I’m not going to engage in this type of conversation anymore. I know what I saw,’” Kennedy said.

If the gaslighter is someone very close to you, you can also suggest doing counseling or therapy together, she added.

If the behavior persists, how long you stay in the relationship is a personal decision, Kennedy said. You could give the person a specific time frame within which you’d like to see changes in their behavior, after which you would re-evaluate.

READ MORE: How to know when it’s time to walk away from a sibling

“But at any rate, you have to decide what the emotional toll is that it’s taking on you and your self-esteem,” Kennedy said. “Sometimes it’s not safe to approach the gaslighter in the relationship, and it’s safer to leave altogether.”

Getting help can be necessary if you’re struggling relationship with a gaslighter or with the trauma gaslighting can cause.

“Seek the support of people you trust — often people who know that you are in a difficult situation and who have been standing on the sidelines, waiting to offer you help,” Vermani said.

Talking to a thera**st can help you get an objective perspective and see more clearly any signs of gaslighting behavior and psychological abuse, Kennedy said.

Gaslighting!!! CNN Part 1. The Term has caused conversation about the potential harms of therapy speak when misused and ...
08/07/2023

Gaslighting!!! CNN Part 1. The Term has caused conversation about the potential harms of therapy speak when misused and the concept of “gaslighting” — a popular buzzword among those in the mental health community and its enthusiasts.

Gaslighting is so commonly discussed that Merriam-Webster deemed the expression its word of the year in 2022, after experiencing a 1,740% increase in searches for the term. But experts say there are a lot of misconceptions around what gaslighting is and isn’t.

“When we’re challenged or confronted or told, ‘Hey, I remember this differently,’ we might think we’re being gaslit, when actually we’re being confronted on a behavior and asked to change it — as opposed to being told that we’re bad or that we don’t remember things correctly or that we’re emotionally unstable,” said Vanessa Kennedy, director of psychology at Driftwood Recovery, a residential rehabilitation center in Texas.

This tactic can be helpful for conflicts, but also if you get stuck in a monologue about the narcissist's great qualities, experts said.
How being a ‘gray rock’ can protect you against narcissists
Some people weaponize psychological terms like gaslighting when others simply do something they don’t like, which is wrong, said Monica Vermani, a Canada-based clinical psychologist and author of “A Deeper Wellness: Conquering Stress, Mood, Anxiety and Traumas.”

Gaslighting is actually “a highly calculating form of manipulation — which involves the destabilization — of one individual by another over a protracted period of time,” Vermani said.

“Most commonly, gaslighting — also referred to as coercive control — is carried out by someone in a position of trust who is in close contact with the target,” she added. “It is a complex and usually deliberate means of intentionally controlling an individual, which is carried out over an extended period of time.”

Since “close contact is key here,” Vermani added, the person gaslighting is often a romantic partner, an intimate friend or family member, or a close colleague.

Someone who gaslights another person destabilizes and controls them by attacking their faculties to make the victim think their emotional stability, credibility or memory is flawed — thereby making the victim distrust themselves and rely more on the person who’s gaslighting them, Kennedy said. Gaslighting also helps the perpetrator avoid any blame or responsibility for their actions.

“The person plays more on your insecurities and tries to attack your self-esteem,” she added.

CNN article party 1 The concept of gaslighting originated from the 1944 film “Gaslight” and the 1938 play on which it was based. In it, “a husband is trying to convince his wife that she’s going insane and perceiving things inaccurately,” Kennedy said. “Throughout the course of the movie and over time, she begins to feel that she is, in fact, dipping into psychological insanity.”

07/23/2023

Within the past two weeks in Minnesota, there have been nine confirmed intimate partner homicides. Eight women were killed by a current or former intimate partner and one man was killed by his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. Their names are Manijeh "Mani" Starren, Fanta Xayavong, Angela Marie McClelland, Vickie Marie (Solmonson) O’Brien, Youa Vua Khang, William Lamont Hudson, Danicka Marie Bergeson, Darisha Tela Bailey Vath, and Jean Harriette Mart.

Nearly every intimate partner homicide in Minnesota has the presence of misogyny, entitlement, and control. Power and control are the root causes of domestic violence in every abusive relationship. Socially and politically, we are seeing an alarming national increase in the normalization of misogyny.

Addressing misogyny’s direct correlation to intimate partner homicides is vital in our movement to end abuse. Some form of misogyny, entitlement, and control through abuse were present in all nine recent homicides:

Manijeh “Mani” Starren and Fanta Xayavong were both killed and dismembered by the same man. Manijeh was killed in April and found in late June. Fanta had been missing since 2021 and was found days after Manijeh. When the man who killed Manijeh and Fanta was arrested, there was a woman in his apartment with black eyes, red marks around her neck, and whom he had threatened to kill. These horrific acts of violence demonstrate a deep sense of ownership and control this man felt over the women in his life.

When Angela Marie McClelland’s husband was arrested for her murder, he told police his wife "had thrown a hissy fit ... just like every other [expletive] day.” This statement reinforces misogynistic stereotypes of women being “hysterical” or overly emotional which trivializes and downplays the violence victim/survivors experience.

Both Vickie Marie (Solmonson) O’Brien and Youa Vua Khang were killed in murder-su***des. Intimate partner murder-su***des are often viewed solely as mental health related matters rather than domestic violence. However, murder-su***des involving intimate partners in Minnesota are perpetrated almost exclusively by men against their female partners. Since we began gathering homicide data in 1989, we have found over 200 cases of intimate partner murder-su***de, and all but one involved a man killing his female partner. There has not been one single intimate partner murder-su***de, or murder-attempted su***de, in over 30 years that involved a woman killing her male partner.

Danicka Marie Bergeson’s boyfriend had an extensive history of abusing her. He was arrested for assaulting her in April and May, and during the latter month, he threatened to kill her. Due to a plea deal for both of those assaults, he was released from jail and killed Danicka 11 days later.

William Lamont Hudson was killed after a July 4 barbecue by his girlfriend’s ex-boyfriend. When a man kills his ex-partner’s new partner, it is a blatant act of power and control over his ex-partner. Since he cannot be with her, he does not want anyone else to be with her either.

Darisha Tela Bailey Vath’s ex-boyfriend was in a car with a male friend when the friend intentionally drove his vehicle into a group of people on July 16, striking Darisha and running her over. Friends and family say her death was premeditated and was caused by “her ex-boyfriend and his friend’s actions.”

Jean Harriette Mart’s husband hit her head against a granite floor, killing her, before going to bed. An autopsy report also revealed he had shot her in the head.

Violence Free Minnesota believes that we must explicitly name and address the oppressive dynamics that drive intimate partner homicide in our state, including belief systems, attitudes, and behaviors that normalize, condone, and encourage men’s power and control over women.

To achieve a violence-free Minnesota, we must all work together to shift social norms and challenge systems of oppression that contribute to a sobering reality: in our past three decades of documenting intimate partner homicides, there has not been a single year in which we have recorded zero deaths.

Resources:
DayOne statewide domestic violence hotline: Call, 866-223-1111 and text, 612-399-9995

Domestic violence program listing: vfmn.org/find-a-program

Transforming Generations, domestic violence program for Hmong community: 651-703-4169, and transforminggenerations.org

Learn how to address and prevent domestic violence: vfmn.org/get-help.

Connect with the MN Men & Masculine Folks Network, a community engagement effort aimed at ending gender-based violence through the prevention efforts of men, masculine, and male-identified folks: https://www.menaspeacemakers.org/mmfn

# # #

We Remember Jean Harriette Mart Minnesota's 20th victim this year. So sorry for the loss of Jean.
07/20/2023

We Remember Jean Harriette Mart Minnesota's 20th victim this year. So sorry for the loss of Jean.

A skirmish broke out at a park in Forest Lake and sadly ended with Darisha's murder. Darisha Tela Bailey Vath killed by ...
07/20/2023

A skirmish broke out at a park in Forest Lake and sadly ended with Darisha's murder. Darisha Tela Bailey Vath killed by vehicular homicide by friend of an ex-boyfriend. Ex was in the car.

William Lamont Hudson was murdered in a revenge shooting of the Lamont who was dating a woman who Ryan Taylor had dated ...
07/17/2023

William Lamont Hudson was murdered in a revenge shooting of the Lamont who was dating a woman who Ryan Taylor had dated in the past.

We remember Youa Vue Khang today. The unprecedented fourth day of consecutive posts in MN regarding the murder and death...
07/14/2023

We remember Youa Vue Khang today. The unprecedented fourth day of consecutive posts in MN regarding the murder and deaths of someone's loved one.

07/13/2023

Three women announced as murdered in three days. All three have Marie as the middle name. A common name, but Marie is "from the sea" and also Latin for Mary.

We remember Danicka Marie Bergeson, our 16th victim of Domestic Violence this year.
07/13/2023

We remember Danicka Marie Bergeson, our 16th victim of Domestic Violence this year.

We remember Angela Marie McClelland, our 15th victim this year.
07/12/2023

We remember Angela Marie McClelland, our 15th victim this year.

We remember Vicki Solmonson O'Brien the 14th victim of 2023.
07/12/2023

We remember Vicki Solmonson O'Brien the 14th victim of 2023.

Manijeh "Mani" Starren was killed and dismembered by her boyfriend in a grizzly murder in April of this year. He is susp...
07/05/2023

Manijeh "Mani" Starren was killed and dismembered by her boyfriend in a grizzly murder in April of this year. He is suspected of killing a friend of hers earlier in a similar crime.

We remember Madeline Jane Kingsbury. Missing all that time and her cruel ex could not just walk away from that relations...
06/09/2023

We remember Madeline Jane Kingsbury. Missing all that time and her cruel ex could not just walk away from that relationship. Her family and children are suffering her loss.

June is Pride Month!
06/05/2023

June is Pride Month!

We Remember Sabrina Lee Schnoor.
06/05/2023

We Remember Sabrina Lee Schnoor.

We remember Antonio Levar Moore.
05/08/2023

We remember Antonio Levar Moore.

Denim Day 2023: On Denim Day, which occurs on the last Wednesday of April (April 26 this year), we stand in solidarity w...
04/26/2023

Denim Day 2023: On Denim Day, which occurs on the last Wednesday of April (April 26 this year), we stand in solidarity with survivors and victims of sexual assault. Denim Day, observed annually on the last Wednesday of April, began as a campaign against sexual assault apologists. In Italy, an 18-year-old girl was assaulted by her 45-year-old driving instructor during the summer of 1998.

The court overturned the perpetrator’s sentence a year later, resulting in his parole. He argued that he had ‘consensual’ in*******se with the girl because she was wearing tight jeans that could only have been removed with her assistance. The following day, Italian women wore denim to work as a form of protest against the absurdity of the overturned sentence.

HISTORY OF DENIM DAY
Denim Day was first observed in 1999, when an Italian court overturned the conviction of a convicted ra**st after granting his appeal. Italian women showed up to work in denim jeans and other clothing items, sparking outrage and protests around the globe. The Californian Senate and Assembly also supported their fellow human beings, and as a sign of respect, American women wore denim when they entered the Parliament. Patricia Giggans, an American feminist and the former executive director of Los Angeles’ Commission on Assaults Against Women (now Peace Over Violence), was inspired by these occurrences and dubbed the last Wednesday of April Denim Day.

The 18-year-old girl who was assaulted in 1992 began her day normally when her driving instructor picked her up. However, the situation quickly deteriorated when he violated her. Before dropping her off at her residence, the ra**st threatened to murder her if she told anyone. Later that day, she told her parents about the occurrence, and the ra**st was shortly apprehended and prosecuted. However, he appealed his case a year later and was released after the court concurred with his claim that the victim’s tight jeans could not have been removed without her assistance.

Sexual violence is traumatic. Because it is difficult to discuss, sexual assault perpetrators frequently escape punishment. Moreover, survivors and victims are frequently held responsible for the incident. Such attitudes have also resulted in lenient laws that provide little assistance to survivors and victims. Thus, the purpose of Denim Day is to purge the world of such attitudes and laws in order to bring true justice and support to the deserving.

Tomorrow, April 26th 2023, is Denim Day, please wear denim to show support for surviviors of sexaul assault in our commu...
04/25/2023

Tomorrow, April 26th 2023, is Denim Day, please wear denim to show support for surviviors of sexaul assault in our community and all across the world. Let's stand up for survivors and stop victim blaming and shaming.

Wear jeans with a purpose, support survivors, and educate yourself about sexual assault.

https://youtu.be/r2uxdZwRlY0
04/25/2023

https://youtu.be/r2uxdZwRlY0

This 2023 National Crime Victims’ Rights Week theme video explores what it means to engage crime survivors to ensure they have a voice everywhere decisions a...

04/24/2023

At a recent Minnesota Women's Press event, MNCASA Executive Director Artika Roller highlighted that: “Black and brown women are more likely to be criminalized, prosecuted, and incarcerated while trying to navigate and survive conditions of violence. There is a lot that goes into the stereotyping and victimization of Black and brown women, the expectations of sexuality. There is a lot that we need to unpack as a society to ensure safety.” If we want to end sexual violence, we need to challenge the criminalization and incarceration of Black victims/survivors.

Photo: Sarah Whiting, Minnesota Women's Press

This entire week is National Crime Victims Week. look for posts all week. Every year, millions of Americans are affected...
04/24/2023

This entire week is National Crime Victims Week. look for posts all week. Every year, millions of Americans are affected by crime.
Many will need ongoing care, support, and resources. April 23–29 is National Crime Victims’ Rights Week, a time to amplify the voices of survivors and commit to creating an environment where survivors have the confidence that they will be heard, believed and supported. Let’s stand with families, neighbors, friends, and colleagues whose lives have been forever altered by crime.
We resolve to help them find their justice and forge new healing pathways. This National Crime Victims’ Rights Week, show survivors that they are not alone. Call Freeborn County Crime Victim's Crisis Center at 507-377-5460 to learn how you can help make certain survivors’ voices are heard and acted upon.

04/18/2023

Join us for Crime Victim Rights Week Jeopardy on Monday, April 24th, 12 to 1 pm. Sign up individually or as a team. Play games, learn about this year's theme, and talk advocacy! The event is free to all folks working with crime victims state-wide! http://ow.ly/g2Wy50NF5jW

We remember Josh Owen Sheriff Deputy murdered in a Domestic arrest.
04/17/2023

We remember Josh Owen Sheriff Deputy murdered in a Domestic arrest.

Being triggered or flooded is a normal response to trauma. A trigger happens when you are reminded of a traumatic event....
04/17/2023

Being triggered or flooded is a normal response to trauma. A trigger happens when you are reminded
of a traumatic event. You may have flashbacks or feel like you are reliving the event. When you are
triggered, it’s important to tell your brain and body that you are safe. You can try these two
grounding exercises (see graphics).
Content Source: https://metoomvmt.org/wp-
content/uploads/2020/05/1.5.5_Coping-with-Triggers_INFOSHEET_V2.pdf

04/17/2023
Whether it’s taking time to grieve and process individually and collectively, setting emotional boundaries, or doing a b...
04/17/2023

Whether it’s taking time to grieve and process individually and collectively, setting emotional
boundaries, or doing a body scan, self-care is vital for our thriving. Self- care may look
different for people and communities who experience trauma at the intersection of systemic
oppression and abuse. Check out these 8 self-care reminders and list of helpful resources from
ValorUS and find the practices that work for you.
Post Content Source: https://www.valor.us/2020/05/11/boldmoves-for-mental-
health-awareness-month-self-care-and-collective-healing/

Self-care should be a tool to thrive, not just survive. Start noticing signs that you are burned out so that you can foc...
04/17/2023

Self-care should be a tool to thrive, not just survive. Start noticing signs that you are burned
out so that you can focus on self-care to prevent future burn out instead of only responding when
you’re already at that point. Recognize the aspects of work culture that keep us from being cared
for or that prevent us from being flexible to our lives and needs, feeling healthy, and finding
joy.

What does it mean to be trauma-informed as advocates? One of the mostimportant principles of trauma-informed care for vi...
04/17/2023

What does it mean to be trauma-informed as advocates? One of the most
important principles of trauma-informed care for victims/survivors of violence is that every
victims/survivor’s trauma is different. An advocate’s job is to meet a victim/survivor where they
are, and offer services that fit their unique experience and needs. Need support? Freeborn County Crime Victims Crisis Center 507-377-5460

Scenario: You’re taking a photo at a family gathering and you place a child next to a family member. How do you practice...
04/13/2023

Scenario: You’re taking a photo at a family gathering and you place a child next to a family
member. How do you practice consent? Ask the child about their preferences. If they don’t want to
sit on a family member’s lap, respect that. If they don’t want to stand next to that family member
for a photo, respect that
too. Choose the child’s comfort and safety over the photo.

It can be hard to know how to promote consent in our daily interactions with kids. Sometimes, it’s as simple as asking k...
04/13/2023

It can be hard to know how to promote consent in our daily interactions with kids. Sometimes, it’s
as simple as asking kids what they’re comfortable with and giving them plenty of options. For
example, if it’s important to us that our kids welcome people to the house, we can give plenty of
ways to do that. See the graphic for
some ideas!

Note: If your child appears uncomfortable greeting a particular person, let them
know it’s safe to share why and that you are there to support them.

We lost another victim in the last week. Be with us in remembering 9th homicide in MN, Ariel Christine Sakry.
05/04/2022

We lost another victim in the last week. Be with us in remembering 9th homicide in MN, Ariel Christine Sakry.

Address

411 S Broadway Avenue
Albert Lea, MN
56007

Opening Hours

Monday 8am - 5pm
Tuesday 8am - 5pm
Wednesday 8am - 5pm
Thursday 8am - 5pm
Friday 8am - 5pm

Telephone

+15073775460

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Pick up your Paint the Town Purple yard sign and purple light bulb today!
https://www.facebook.com/Montgomery5M/
My company is currently in the development phase for a Domestic Violence Insurance Product.. We would greatly appreciate your feedback on the viability of such a product. Thank you,