05/22/2026
Red flags for abuse while dating creep in slowly and quietly, often missed entirely until matters escalate and the survivor looks back in retrospect. Experiencing abuse is never a survivor's fault, but there are warning signs we have learned to be indicative of abusive behavior. Beware the following red flags:
⛳ Person acts like a prize to be won and implies that a worthy partner will "prove" herself to him. (i.e. "I'm a very busy man, but I'll make time for the right woman"). This establishes a hierarchy where they are the center of attention
⛳ Excessive flattery, gifts, praise, and pressure for quick commitment.
⛳ "Playful" or lighthearted put-downs, commands, and attempts to test your boundaries either physically or emotionally. This is intentionally done to gauge your reactivity in preparation for behaviors to escalate
⛳ Efforts to control your speech, dress, social life, etc., usually disguised with concern for your safety or wellbeing. This person may act like they have a better idea of what is in your best interest than even you do
⛳ Jealousy and insecurity around your other relationships or any attention you receive from others
⛳ This person is the victim of every past relationship or situation that they share with you. There is always a reason why someone else is at fault
⛳ High reactivity or intimidation during conflict. This may look like breaking or throwing objects, blocking exits, abusing animals, making threats of harm towards themselves and/or you
