05/14/2026
What not to say to foster parents…
“I’d get too attached.”
You couldn't foster because your heart is just so big that you'd get too attached & you couldn't let them go. & I know you believe it when you say it.
But, we get attached. We fall in love. We check the closet for monsters at bedtime, we hold them through meltdowns, cheer at milestones & invest our whole selves knowing that at any moment, we may have to say goodbye.
& that’s the point.
When someone says, “I’d get too attached,” I’m thinking to myself “don’t you think I also get attached?” Because the truth is, we’re not emotionally immune. Our hearts break too. The ache of letting go is real & it stays with us forever.
But here’s the difference: we believe kids deserve to be loved so deeply that the goodbye should hurt. Because they deserve adults who will attach, even temporarily, because these kids need healthy attachment. It can help rewire the brain. It shows kids they’re worth loving, no matter how long they stay or don’t.
& just maybe, If your reason for not fostering is because you’d get too attached, you’re exactly the kind of person these kids need.