06/12/2026
Today, long-time resident Christian Wolff, a quiet, intensely focused forensic accountant, submitted a sworn affidavit charging Mayor โFoFoโ Gilich with violating ๐ ๐ฆ ๐๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ ยง ๐ต๐ณ-๐ฎ๐ต-๐ฐ๐ฑ, โObscene Electronic Communication.โ The alleged electronic obscenity? The public communication of the 191-page Resolution asking Biloxi's City Council to issue $18 million in bonds on Tuesday, 16 June 2026.
Also named as co-conspirators in this alleged act of municipal indecency are Chief Administrative Officer Richard Weaver and City Attorney Peter Abide, who apparently aided and abetted the transmission of this 191-page shameful and morbid fiscal fever dream to the public. According to the affidavit, the document was so long, so dense, and so aggressively lewd to read that it caused ordinary citizens to faint the moment they cracked the binding.
When reached for comment, Mayor โFoFoโ Gilich reportedly said, โI donโt see how this meets the definition of โobsceneโ in ๐ ๐ฆ ๐๐ผ๐ฑ๐ฒ ยง ๐ต๐ณ-๐ฎ๐ต-๐ญ๐ฌ๐ฏ! Itโs only 191 pages!โ A concerned citizen immediately responded, โThatโs how it starts. If we allow 191 pages today, tomorrow they'll be mailing us 192 pages of ๐-๐ข๐ฏ๐๐ฐ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฒ along with the ๐-๐ก๐ฒ๐๐!โ Before leaving, the Mayor reassured residents by saying, โThis bond and that is not obscene! Obscene would be making it 193 pages!โ