08/28/2026
🎓🚨 WELCOME BACK, BLOOMSBURG UNIVERSITY 🚨🎓
Ahhh, the fall semester. 🍂
The leaves are changing, the textbooks are getting progressively more expensive, and somewhere in town a college student is already saying:
“Bro, I can totally handle one more.”
Fact: They could not.
To our returning students: Welcome back! We hope you had a relaxing summer and are ready to make good decisions.
Or at least better decisions than last semester.
To our incoming freshmen: Congratulations! You’ve made it to college. You’re officially adults, which means you’re responsible for your decisions — and unfortunately, nobody gave us a pamphlet explaining why drinking an entire bottle of something called a “BORG” is a terrible idea.
🍻 LET’S TALK ALCOHOL
If you’re under 21, alcohol is not suddenly legal because you’re in college.
Not in the dorm.
Not at an apartment.
Not at a house party.
Not because someone older bought it.
And definitely not because “everyone else is doing it.”
And to those who ARE 21:
Congratulations! You have unlocked the legal ability to drink — not the superpower to consume an irresponsible amount of alcohol without consequences.
Knowing your limits is part of being an adult.
🚫 AND TO OUR “HELPFUL” UPPERCLASSMEN…
Buying alcohol for your underage friends isn’t being a good friend.
Neither is handing a freshman a drink and saying:
“You’ll be fine.”
You don’t know that.
You could be setting someone up for alcohol poisoning, a serious injury, an arrest, or a trip to the hospital.
If your idea of being the “cool older friend” involves supplying alcohol to minors, congrats — you’ve managed to turn friendship into a potential criminal investigation.
⛲ AND THEN THERE’S THE FOUNTAIN…
Every year, someone apparently looks at a perfectly normal fountain and thinks:
“You know what would really improve this situation? Me being completely wasted and jumping into it.”
Please don’t.
The fountain is decorative.
It is not a swimming pool.
It is not a hydration station.
And it is definitely not the location for your next great TikTok.
We’ve seen enough wet college students to know that alcohol, fountains, and poor decision-making is not the combination anyone needs.
🚨 FRESHMAN SURVIVAL GUIDE
Your first semester should include:
📚 Learning where your classes are
🍕 Finding the best late-night food
🎉 Making friends
🏈 Making memories
💀 Questioning your life choices during finals
It should NOT include:
🚓 Meeting us under unfortunate circumstances
🚑 A trip to the emergency room
⛓️ An underage drinking citation
🚗 Getting behind the wheel after drinking
⛲ Becoming the unofficial fountain lifeguard at 1:30 AM
If someone has consumed too much alcohol and is unresponsive, difficult to wake, repeatedly vomiting, confused, or having trouble breathing, don’t leave them alone and don’t assume they’ll “sleep it off.”
Call 911.
You aren’t getting anyone in trouble by getting them help. You’re potentially saving their life.
So welcome back, Huskies. 🐾
Have fun. Go to class. Spend entirely too much money on coffee.
But most importantly… look out for your friends, don’t supply alcohol to minors, don’t drink under 21, and for the love of Bloomsburg, stay out of the fountain!
Because the goal of college is to graduate with a degree…
not a criminal record, a hospital bracelet, and a legendary story about why you thought swimming at 2 AM was a good idea.
🎓 Welcome back. Make good choices. Or at least make choices that don’t require us to write a report about them.
— Bloomsburg Police Department
This program is funded by a grant from the Pennsylvania Liquor Control Board; the content may not represent the views of the PLCB.
