10/05/2012
Okay. Mama's off her meds and about to go off. What I am going to say is going to p**s a lot of people off. But I have had it and I'm not going to take it any more. I am NOT going to name names, but I have a good guess that many of you are going to know who I am talking about. And do you know what? I don't frackin' care.
Our Belly Dance Community is sick. It is diseased. And ours is not the only one. I have been all over the US and even other countries for many, many years and am very aware of other cities and areas that have conflict just like ours and others for whatever reason all get along mostly okay. The primary difference I see is COMMUNICATION! No more private messages or petty bickering. If you have something to say, fracking SAY IT! Don't bitch about someone and then suck up to that same person and act like there's no problem. We all need to step it up and be more professional and cordial but honest about our real feelings. It's one thing to vent and another to gossip. And I'm a hypocrite for pointing this out. I've bi***ed and moaned, but I'm trying to be better than that. Even if I've had a personal problem with another dancer, I will still refer business and speak well of them and their talents professionally. But lately I've been sliding down that slippery slope of bitching to bitch instead of going to other dancers directly.
So, let me pull up my soap box and get a little Cray-Cray.
In this election year my daughter complained about all the political ads. Yes, they're a pain in the ass, but this is America and at least we get more of a choice than many other countries out there. I'm grateful for those pain in the ass ads. My Grandfather was imprisoned in North Korea for being a Politically Active Pastor (think Korean Martin Luther King). My family had to escape from the North to the South leaving behind a lot of family they loved. I feel really blessed to live in a country that has a lot of freedom. But sometimes freedom comes with a price. How does that apply to Belly Dance? Here goes (This is where many of you should stick your fingers in your ears and sing, "Lalalalalalalalaaa!!!"):
In a perfect world it would be GREAT if everyone charged the same amount for classes and performing at private events. Dancers SHOULD respect themselves and their fellow dancers by charging an appropriate amount for gigs instead of undercutting others. Belly Dancing is very popular right now and there are a lot of new dancers on the scene. I truly believe many of them are not sure what to charge. Friends and family members say, "Hey, can you dance at my wedding/birthday/hoedown for free?" and Baby Dancer says, "Yeah, sure!" just excited to have the opportunity to perform and doesn't think about how it effects the community at large. The issuance of a local price structure is informative and very helpful, but it is a GUIDELINE, not an enforceable law or hard and fast rule. The same dancers who are requesting everyone follow these guidelines often don't pay other dancers/troupes when they perform in shows where they make a profit.
For private gigs, it's usually a case of "Buyer Beware". You get what you pay for. If you go into a high priced salon, you usually get great service and a great do. If you go to Super Cuts, you get what you pay for, usually an adequate, clean cut. And then there are those customers who will go into someone's basement and sit in an aluminum folding chair while someone pulls out a pair of clippers and a bowl to put on your head.
But this IS America and the last time I checked, we're all free to do and charge what we please. Is it fair? Not always. Does it suck? Probably. But browbeating and blacklisting other dancers is not the way to get your point across. There have been so many posts from a few local dancers about how dancers should conduct their business lately. And I actually agree with 100% of it, I do! But all I've been hearing from MOST of the other dancers who are just moaning, "Enough. We get it already..." and it's starting to create a negative backlash. People usually resent being told what to do when it's honestly no one else's business. Don't ask other dancers, "Hey, what did YOU charge for that wedding?" It's rude and NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. People have the right to charge, or NOT charge, what they want to in this country. Again, is it fair? Nope. But who ever said life is fair?
Next item to p**s you off. Unless you own the papers on a business/venue/club, it is not yours to run!!! Some local venues host lots of different events and workshops by lots of different teachers and everyone gets along fine. While other venues dancers seem to think they have "dibs" on them. We know the owner of a venue who have worked mostly exclusively with one dancer. I don't brag about my husband being personal friends with this owner because it shouldn't be a big deal. It's often a topic of amused conversation between them that other Dancers/Teachers/Troupes have the impression they can't book or perform at that venue with out express permission from the dancer that has all her haflas there. I have NOT booked at this venue because I felt to do so would step on this other dancer's toes. And it would seem that I was right to believe that. When in fact, the owner DOES NOT CARE. He will rent the space out to whomever wants to pay. And apparently he may have just done exactly that.
Again, does that suck? Perhaps for the Dancer that is feeling territorial. Is it fair? I, personally, believe it IS for the Dance Community as a Whole. This is a place of free will, people. If an owner wants to rent out their space, they have that right. INSTEAD OF DIVIDING VENUES INTO TERRITORIES WE SHOULD SEE THE WHOLE PICTURE AS A COMMUNITY. This should not be a Gang-Style Turf War. If we communicate, a lot of these issues will be avoided. And if dates are double booked, which often they are and will increasingly be so, people have the right to choose where they want to go for their entertainment. If you're putting on fun, professional shows, you should not feel threatened by other events. In the long run, people will see that your events are better and they will attend yours vs. others
As our Dance Style becomes more main stream, there are going to be more and more events and there is bound to be a lot of overlap. Last year, I had a large event overlap with another. The major regret I had was that I would have liked to have gone to the other event as well as I am a huge fan of theirs. But I had already booked the venue... It was a bummer, but c'est la vive, it's going to happen sometimes. If you don't own the venue and you don't have a contract that says otherwise, too frackin' bad. Stop being territorial and learn to share for the sake of the health of the community.
This also applies to Dance Teachers. Many people have complained that so and so has only danced two years and now they're teaching. Get over it. Some people ARE good teachers. Some are not. I know some dancers that have been dancing 10 years but don't have the patience or talent to teach and their forte is choreographing or performing. And others have only danced for a couple of years and they're great teachers. Again, it's buyer beware. Check out referrals, talk to other dancers.
And please, encourage your students to take classes from lots of different teachers! Encourage them to take workshops from lots of different instructors! Encourage them to perform at lots of different haflas! Hoarding, isolating and trying to control who your students learn from and where they dance shows your own insecurity as a teacher. Diversity and variety sparks creativity and a continued love for dance! For instance, I LOVE to teach beginning students. I love to see that look on their face when they get a basic combo or even just get their posture right and can suddenly BREATHE! As they advance, I send them out to other teachers and instructors and even different dance styles! I love to see that continued development as they learn and grow. And why on Earth would you not let students perform in other teacher's shows?! There is little greater thrill and exhilaration than performing onstage. Why would you want to deny any student those feelings?
I now what I'm saying, some of you are taking as a personal attack, and believe it or not, that is NOT how intend for it to come across. I'm just expressing how I feel, take it or leave it.
I am just sick to death of gossip, rumors, and separation that I see on the horizon for our local Belly Dance Community. And you know what? There may have to be a division. Colorado may just have to be separated into factions, cliques and gangs and that's the way it's going to be. But I don't want to encourage that. I love you ALL and this Dance and this Community too much to give up without a fight.
Many of you know I fly below the radar. I feel comfortable cruising below the surface and behind the scenes. But I feel like I have to stand up. I've been getting too many texts, private messages, phone calls, lunches,... with term like "Overlords" and "Belly Dance Mafia" being bandied about. (I'm not even going to START to get into MECDA. Whew!) And I've been just a guilty, coining the term "Belly Dance Rebel Alliance". I'm not guilt free. I've been a hypocrite. But no more. I'm going to come out from the gossip closet and take a stand for what I believe. And who knows, with more communication and discourse, my mind may be changed, expanded and opened. But I'm tired of bitching. No more Overlords. No more Dictatorship. Democracy, please. You may totally disagree with me. You may be totally right! But I hope at least we will all TALK about it out in the open.
I have now opened the can of worms not just for our local community, but for others as well. Please, tell me I'm full of it, that you think I'm wrong and stupid. Don't private message your friend and say, "Ooooo! Can you believe she said that?! Who does she think she is?!" Comment here, or call me whether you agree with me or think I'm full of it. But lets TALK to each other!!!
Thank you for reading my grammatically inferior, rambling rant. I am now getting off the soap box and turning it over to YOU.
