10/16/2026
🚨🌿 LOST & FOUND: WE’RE LOOKING FOR THE OWNER! 🌿🚨
Remember when your mom told you to make sure you got enough greens in your diet? 🥦 Well… we don’t think THIS is what she had in mind. 😂
Recently, a repossession company turned over some property to our officers after discovering it while conducting an inventory of a repossessed vehicle.
The property in question? 783 grams (approximately 1.73 pounds) of Devil’s Lettuce, Jazz Cabbage, Wacky Tobacky, Mary Jane, Broccoli’s suspicious cousin… aka ma*****na. 🍃
We’ve officially tagged and logged this leafy little mystery into our cold, dark evidence room. It’s safe, secure, and probably wondering why it got left behind. 🥶
We’d really love to reconnect this collection of questionable greens with its rightful owner. So, if you’ve misplaced approximately 1.73 pounds of Jazz Cabbage, or know someone who has, we’d love to talk to you!
Before anyone gets too excited, we should probably clarify that we’re not actually giving this property back. 😂 But we would really like to meet its rightful owner!
Remember, folks: getting your daily serving of greens is important, but maybe stick to spinach and broccoli. 🥦🤣