Yoyodyne Propulsion

07/30/2025

Message from John Ebert, Yoyodyne muvee critik: I thought this propaganda film was permanently shelved when Kevin Smith showed interest in it . Should we picket ?

03/13/2025

Message from John Weaselstink, Yoyodyne Irritating Engineer:

Attention

There is presently a sale on rebadged thermopods. They are available at 1600 Pennsylvania Blvd. Washington DC.
Your Explosions May Vary.

03/07/2025

Message from John Andretty , Yoyodyne Uber Manager: NO MORE JOY RIDES ! Turning back the odometer does not work ! Haven't you weak individuals seen Ferris Bueller ???

01/24/2025

Message from John Fencedoors :
We must recall John Weasel-Stink back to headquarters. He has been made soft by the Monk3yB0y fangurls that have been duped into worshipping him. John Weasel-Stink was meant to drive the terran communication platform ByrdNoyze into the ground to weaken the earthdwellers ability to cooperate, but all he did was make it unprofitable, and changed its name to " : " . What in the hell was that ? He's gotten too big for his J.C.Penny suit. He requisitioned some formic acid so he could bleach his cloaca, to make Monk3yB0ys want to kiss it even more! Next he will be outsourcing his hurt feelings when people get under his increasingly thin carapace. Professional pearl clutchers have been put on staff.

12/27/2024

Message from John Stanislavsky, Yoyodyne Arts Director:

This years Holiday Film Offering is "The Improbable Occurrence on 45th Ave." It is the story of a small terran whos obsession with her imaginary friend complicate her personal relationships. The diabetes inducing dialog and lack of holiday homicidal action conclude in a possible involuntary incarceration, the local legal system flaws exposed, the the US Monetary Policy being involved. All is well then, the caregivers for the small terran, the adjudicator, the postal system and the legal system begin to share the mass delusion. (This reminds me what we did to Orson Wells, ....good times....) OR this would have been the offering but John Pants sat on the last View Master, breaking it, during his "Extreme Lounging" demonstration. CONTUNUE TO TOIL

12/23/2024

Beyond Jurassic Park and The Fly, we rank the most underrated movies starring Jeff Goldblum, like Vibes and Between the Lines.

12/22/2024

09/07/2024

Notice from John Weasel-Stink :
The tunneling thermal pod is a complete success! The "MOLEMAN 3000" will be production ready, and the M0nk3yb0ys are none the wiser. Our stealth test went very smoothly.

07/17/2024

MESSAGE FROM JOHN STONEWORKER : Get legal in the phone ! This terran is making money on the time honored stinger launching noise. And her M0nk3ygirl accent makes my carapace itch....in a bad way. That's OUR sound !

07/13/2024

Red Lectroid Magazine is out today ! (NSFW)

07/02/2024

Message from John Fencedoors : Panic Mode !!! Alex Jones's Post Bankruptcies' list has just come out. We are 130. That means 129 companies will be paid before us. I am calling for an emergency Zune meeting. Contact Yoyosoft™ STAT !!

06/19/2024

On the first of this month we mark the electrocution and subsequent demise of John Expendable. He was the first Yoyodyne employee to be killed by a terran.