04/20/2026
Could she be the one who did it?
I don’t think I necessarily need an introduction, because, quite frankly, I’m hard to miss. I’m Darlene Felicia Sewhage (pronounced Sue-azh), and I’m the “steel magnolia” of this community – full of beauty, charm, and elegance, all of which precede me wherever I go. I passed these traits on to my three-time, county-winning pageant queen daughter, Britny Barbara Sewhage.
I’m the head of an exclusive neighborhood, The Mobile Chateaus. It’s an upscale neighborhood that continues to be on the up-and-up! But I know some of you elite folks can’t accept that our neighborhood is full of charm and colorful people. Professor Rype Tumahtoo and I have worked together to try and ease the tensions between our communities. But I know that he, and some of you, resent us being here.
Now, Beau Buford over there is my ex-husband and the father of our sunflower, Britny Barbara. I’m Britny Barbara’s full-time coach and assist her in preparations for her beauty pageants. I have taught her everything I know about beauty and grace. It must be working because she continues to win the county pageants! I only wish she had won the VanBier sponsored regional pageant instead of being runner up. She isn’t getting any younger, and that would have been her ticket to be Miss America on day.