09/03/2026
HEAR YE, HEAR YE!
A strange and powerful object has been discovered…
A CARD.
A LIBRARY CARD.
And with this card, you may enter not one…
not two…
but NINE LIBRARIES.
“NINE?!”
NINE.
And if the book you seek is not within our walls?
FEAR NOT.
For The Man in the Van shall travel the land FOUR DAYS A WEEK, carrying books from library to library like some sort of extremely wholesome medieval quest.
“Bring me the book!”
“Which book, my lord?”
“THE ONE FROM THE OTHER LIBRARY!”
***dramatic van noises***
And the best part?
THE EVANS CITY LIBRARY CARD COSTS NOTHING.
NOT ONE GOLD COIN.
NOT ONE SHILLING.
NOT EVEN THREE SILVER PIECES.
It is FREE.
Books. Movies. Audiobooks. Magazines. All sorts of wonderful things.
And yet, there are still people wandering the countryside without one.
WHY?!
Come to the library and get yours. It takes about five minutes, costs absolutely nothing, and suddenly you have access to 9 LIBRARIES and more books than you could possibly cram into your house.
ONE CARD.
NINE LIBRARIES.
FOUR DAYS OF BOOK DELIVERY.
ZERO GOLD COINS.
Your quest awaits.
Now go forth, brave reader.
AND GET THY LIBRARY CARD! It's national library card sign up month!!!
Disclaimer: The Man in the Van is not, in fact, a medieval knight. Please do not attempt to joust with the van.
