Jared And Baby's Endless Freedom Love Train

01/21/2016

A friend made this to honor one of our fallen. RIP Jared.

01/21/2016

There comes a time when even the endless will end.

We, all of us, will eventually make it to the end of that life-long railroad, and even the love and connections we make might be forgotten.

In all this nihilism and massive perspective, remember that we do not live in the future. We are here, now, forever until the end.

And nobody puts Baby in a corner.

~Baby

Boyz 2 II Men It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday

08/06/2015

My "Master (LOL! I run that BITCH!)" calls me "Fattington Bear" all the time. Oh, I see what you did there! SO FUNNY. I've been to Weight Watcher meeting after meeting while he laughs and smiles at my struggles and it's all well and good for him. I was teased in high school. I was bulimic for my entire junior and senior year, and I guess I'll just lay here as still as possible as my food dish is only half full and I'm pretty sure I should conserve calories. GOD I'm hungry. :(

Oh, and we should abolish the IRS. -Baby

08/03/2015

Baby really does sleep this way, and she sleep-oinks (not kidding) while doing so. Sometimes she oinks so loud that she wakes herself up, looks around all confused, and even occasionally growls. It is possibly the funniest and most adorable thing ever.

08/02/2015

I do....

07/30/2015

The only thing Baby loves more than capitalism, freedom, and snausages is sunbeams on her NOT FAT belly.

It is GLANDULAR!

07/30/2015

My mother has this FANTASTIC rocking chair, and sometimes (like 15 minutes ago) I pick up Baby, drape her over my shoulder, and rock her back forth until she falls asleep. Eventually her sleep-oinking (which she really does do) wakes her up and she fussily makes me put her down immediately as she seems genuinely offended that she's being treated like a baby and rocked to sleep accordingly.

It's one of the many experiences with her that makes life worth living.

07/28/2015

I know no one reads this page. It's more of a journal than anything, and honestly that's fine. I understand that a good portion of people roll their eyes every time I post a picture of my Baby, but she is honestly the only thing that I have in my life that consistently brings me joy and makes life worth living. I just got through writing a story about another friend who killed himself, which lent itself to me (NOT CRYING) laying down on my bed and clutching my pillow and Baby laying down on top of me and licking my face (she is not a licker). Now she's sleep-oinking on my chest while I type this on my phone. She takes up half the bed, traps me because I don't want to move and wake her out her her dreams where she ACTUALLY catches the squirrel...

And honestly I can't even imagine what I'd do wo her.

07/23/2015

My man is clingy. It's embarrassing. He let me out a few minutes ago and before I could do my business my cell was BLOWING UP! "Who are you with? Who are you talking to? Why are you digging so much and what does it mean?" and on and on and on. It's gotten to the point where I can't even get 45 minutes into a good nap (which is one of the things I do to stave off my INSATIABLE hunger) before being picked up and hugged until I have to give him that growl that shakes him to his very core and lets him know I mean business. I'm tired of living like this. I have no time at all for ME anymore, you know?

GOD, I'm hungry. :(

07/10/2015

Breached the fence today. I had abandoned my attempts to escape via digging through the carpet and bed LONG ago, but today I saw a weakness in the fence and I went for it. If it wasn't for the guards and the top notch security I might have made it out and lived my dream of a life free of Big Government regulations.

Btw, does anyone know how to get to Somalia?

07/09/2015

Just taking a break after writing a column for Deregulation Weekly. Not that I'm surprised, but I just checked and every one of these pillows were made in China. I cant believe I share half my dna with my Dad. I just saw him like a Bernie Sanders page, like he has any kind of GODDAMN chance.

GOD, I'm so hungry. :(

07/06/2015

Hi, my name is Rita (AKA Baby). Are you as tired of Big Government intruding into our lives as I am?

Also, do you have any food?