05/05/2022
Can't wait for warm weather!
This is cute! Copied and pasted for some laughs but also a little truth 😂😂😂
Rules for the Boat.
ONE MORE: DONT SPRAY YOUR SUNSCREEN ON WHILE IN THE BOAT!!!!!! Do it in the parking lot after you show up thirty minutes ahead of agreed time!!!
Since we're coming into boating season.
Rules for Boating 2022 and feel free to copy and add more!
1. Show up on time, we won't be waiting for your stoner ass to arrive while we bake in the sun on hot asphalt while our ice melts. (And show up with ice) Boat leaves at stated time...PERIOD!
2. Bring your own beer or booze. Seriously? The fact I have to even mention it is pathetic...and bring enough for other people too. Don't be that as***le asking to "bum" a beer or get a drink off people. I don't care if you're a hot chick or only gonna have 1. Everyone contributes. And while we're at it bring some food or snacks! Don't just expect to be wined and dined. And if your offered food ,eat it! the captain isn't being polite...He's trying to keep you coherent and not passing out wasted on his boat! No drinking on a empty stomach!
3. Don't bring red wine. We already know about your sophisticated pallet. We aren't on a Yacht, and you're a fu***ng drunk with bad balance, so leave the glass at home while you're at it too! And if you show up with white claws, there better be some chics in your group or you will be hazed!!!
4. Kick the boat owner down for gas. And not $20. Remember that big ass lifted truck with the huge wheels and tires and the loud exhaust that you showed up in...yea,well a boat is way bigger... That s**t doesn't run on hopes and dreams either. so $40 per person is customary. A day of boating can easily go over $300 in fuel. Not to mention one of you drunk as***les breaks something every time we are out, so consider that a deal.
5. Don't bring any random people without prior consent of the boat owner! Nobody wants to be held hostage for 6 hours in a confined space with someone who is Crying, Mad, An As***le, hitting on your chicks, Ugly or any combination thereof. And don't ask if you can bring a dude, I'm sure he's amazing an all. He can meet up with us later..... Or not.
To bring a chick, send a photo (recent) to the boat owner beforehand for prior authorization.
6. That chick in your group? The one doing shots at 11 am and vomiting by 2? She can stay home too. You know who your train-wrecks are and you'll be held responsible if you bring one. I don't care if she's hot.
7. We don't go back early to drop off or pick up. As fun as it is to run the gauntlet of Sheriff Boats back to the dock as they watch you try to dock a boat wasted, in the wind, while you're seeing double isn't fun, not safe. Don't ask.
8. Don't smoke on the boat, not even on the edge.And don't just assume everyone smokes weed...A boat is a floating gas can! You're a drunk idiot, so I'll tell you twice before you burn something. And chew at your own risk, because if I ever take a swig of Coors light and get a mouthful of your spit, I will not warn you before I knock you the f**k out....No exceptions.
9.The music is being played by the captains choice. Don't touch the source without explicit permission from the skipper. And if by chance you are offered a turn at playing DJ that s**t is temporary at best! Your music will be terminated at any time, especially if you play s**t!
10. If, when invited, you ask what time we will be home, we will just assume that means you don’t want to go.
Have a wonderful day and don't forget sun screen. PS don't spray that s**t on my boat 😉
Copy and paste
