08/04/2024
In the past few decades, Americans have broadened their image of what constitutes a legitimate romantic relationship—but not the expectation that a monogamous romantic relationship is the planet around which all other relationships should orbit, Rhaina Cohen wrote in 2020. https://theatln.tc/vZYrBqFq
Kami West had been dating her current boyfriend for a few weeks when she told him that he was outranked by her best friend, Kate Tillotson. Some would argue that West and Tillotson’s close relationship defies convention. “Our boyfriends, our significant others, and our husbands are supposed to be No. 1,” West told Cohen. “Our worlds are backward.“
By prioritizing a friendship, people such as West and Tillotson unsettle the norm, Cohen writes. “Friends of their kind sweep into territory typically reserved for romantic partners: They live in houses they purchased together, raise each other’s children, use joint credit cards, and hold medical and legal powers of attorney for each other. These friendships have many of the trappings of romantic relationships, minus the s*x.“
Despite these friendships’ intense devotion, there’s no clear category for them, and many of those who center a friendship find that their most significant relationship is incomprehensible to others. “But these friendships can be models for how we as a society might expand our conceptions of intimacy and care,” Cohen continues.
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🎨: Kirn Vintage Stock / Getty / Arsh Raziuddin / The Atlantic