Dr. Steve Milner, PhD, LCSW Psychotherapy and Consulting

09/11/2021

A lot of people I hear from these days needing my help are going through a ‘round 2’ of anxiety, stress, feeling overwhelmed, and having vaccine/mask/social distancing/missing out on life traumatic stress.
These are tough times to be sure. If you are on social media(s) and read a paper, watch news, etc then you’re bound to be both informed, a good thing, but also stressed out, a normal reaction and one that can be managed in a healthy way if you have the skill sets and strategies.
Stay tuned for more detailed, specific actions you can take to reign in what’s keeping you from joy and thriving in your life.

01/31/2020

Hello and happy Friday and last day of January! In case anyone does not know, the handsome Foxhound above is JoeJoe, best friend and therapy, or therapeutic, dog.
He brings me and many others great joy! Focusing daily on finding joy in life is a choice and a mental activity. Positivity over negativity, optimism over pessimism, a smile on your face over a frown. It actually can be that simple.
The point is that you make it your own. Define it, what does being joyful mean to you? What brings you joy? Who brings you joy? Instead of pushing your daily joy aside and back burnered, make it a priority to choose it by being in positive, healthy relationships, getting some daily exercise of any kind in, and keep mindful of the bountiful joy around you.
Last, be connected to others, both people and our loving pets. Happiness is a very good thing!

10/08/2017

Hi everyone! Hope your Sunday is going swell.
I recently read a blurb in the Oct '17 GQ, written by Dan Harris, Nightline co-anchor and co-founder of the 10% Happier meditation app. The title was "Kill Your Rage with Awareness".l
I tried it, followed the simple instructions, and lo and behold it made a difference, or rather is making a difference. Been practicing this now for about 8 days, and my take is it works. Here it is should you want to experiment, and let me know your thoughts! Thanks and namaste...!

"Close your eyes and look at what's happening inside your own skull, and you'll see that it's a mess of urges and impulses. That sheer knowledge helps you when you're ambushed by anger. You'll think, 'I'm feeling anger right now, but I don't have to ACT on it'. It's a game-changing skill. That self-awareness allows you to see the storm off the coast, to see your anger before it owns you.

And of course, JoeJoe conked out on the office daybed after his hourly meditative practices...

Beemer Bungalow

Hi everyone! Hope your Sunday is going swell.
I recently read a blurb in the Oct '17 GQ, written by Dan Harris, Nightline co-anchor and co-founder of the 10% Happier meditation app. The title was "Kill Your Rage with Awareness".l
I tried it, followed the simple instructions, and lo and behold it made a difference, or rather is making a difference. Been practicing this now for about 8 days, and my take is it works. Here it is should you want to experiment, and let me know your thoughts! Thanks and namaste...!

"Close your eyes and look at what's happening inside your own skull, and you'll see that it's a mess of urges and impulses. That sheer knowledge helps you when you're ambushed by anger. You'll think, 'I'm feeling anger right now, but I don't have to ACT on it'. It's a game-changing skill. That self-awareness allows you to see the storm off the coast, to see your anger before it owns you.

And of course, JoeJoe conked out on the office daybed after his hourly meditative practices...

Beemer Bungalow

09/30/2017

Strategizing Stress

Hi again! First, I clicked on the wrong picture and accidentally uploaded a video showing squirrels decimating our elm tree in the backyard, and the garage being prepped for painting! So sorry about that, if you like the furry varmints then enjoy!
It's been a while since I posted on my practice site, so I'm making a commitment to post weekly. This is the first, and it's on stress management, a topic I believe we all can relate to. If you're alive, breathing, and in any way interacting with at least one person daily, then you have stress in your life.
Here are a few pointers on reducing and managing stress:

--Learn how to say the simple word "no". Stick to boundaries and limits that you set whether personally or professionally. And know it is just fine to not take on more than you think you can handle.
--Avoid volatile topics. This can apply to so so so many things, especially in these times we are living in! This doesn't mean stay away from people, conversations, the television, computer, etc. Just step back from any news or information that causes you upset and stress. It is okay to do this!
--Do not overextend yourself. Back to saying "NO"! When you over scheduled and trying to keep up with all your commitments, then stop, sit down with your schedule/calendar, and make some adjustments. You do not have to be rushing around 24/7. Down time is required if you are going to be at your best mentally and physically on a daily basis. Practice mindful calmness and breathing. Again, it is okay to do these things for yourself!

These are just 3 strategies among hundreds that you can take and make your own. The key is always to be true to yourself and authentic, believe in your innate goodness, and practice positivity and manage your stress! Take care everybody, and have a great day!

Dr. Steve

09/25/2016

Hi on a warm, relaxing Saturday. Several actions to take to keep your for shifting from a 'Human Being' to a 'Human Doing' follow:
--Put your mental, physical, and emotional health first, and take good care of yourself every day.
--Calm yourself and meditate on positives every morning before beginning your day.
--Sometime during your day, go outside and soak up some nature!
--Frame yourself in service to others and come from a place of genuine caring and service.
--Gratitude. Act grateful for the big and small things. Smile more; say hello to people; give a wave to that person who let you cut in front of them (while using blinker!!!).
--Use your blinker always!! (a soapbox issue!)
--And always remember to live, love, and enjoy every day and find something to be thankful and happy for, and tell someone.
Here's to positivity and thriving in your life!!

Dr. Steve

Hi on a warm, relaxing Saturday. Several actions to take to keep your for shifting from a 'Human Being' to a 'Human Doing' follow:
--Put your mental, physical, and emotional health first, and take good care of yourself every day.
--Calm yourself and meditate on positives every morning before beginning your day.
--Sometime during your day, go outside and soak up some nature!
--Frame yourself in service to others and come from a place of genuine caring and service.
--Gratitude. Act grateful for the big and small things. Smile more; say hello to people; give a wave to that person who let you cut in front of them (while using blinker!!!).
--Use your blinker always!! (a soapbox issue!)
--And always remember to live, love, and enjoy every day and find something to be thankful and happy for, and tell someone.
Here's to positivity and thriving in your life!!

Dr. Steve

11/10/2015

Hello! It's the beginning of another week and sometime or another it is almost certain you will face a defeat or a failure in some way or another. Much has been written and said about the difference between failing a task or not quite reaching a goal, and feeling like a big failure because you did not make it to 100%. This can trigger feelings of toxic shame, guilt, and harsh hits to self esteem and worth. So what's the alternative? How about first just accepting what happened and the feelings associated with it, but without a judgment! Second, re-frame it as a teachable experience, asking "What am I going to learn from this and use to grow?". Third, adopt a positivity based mindset that encourages you to examine the situation for behaviors that build you up and push you to excel and flourish. Fourth, take all roads that lead you forward and closer to where you see yourself and want to be. The past is just that, past and done. Make a larger narrative for yourself! Finally, talk to at least one trusted person about what happened and remember the axiom, "I may have failed but I am a winner", and you are. Ease up that foot on your throat, don't judge (too harshly), and keep grabbing those life's adventures and experiences!! Enjoy and believe more in YOU every single day this week, and the next, and the next,.....

07/14/2015

The abandonment complex and how to cope with it

A good read with a healthy, solid, reasonable dialogue about abandonment and it's effect on our life, especially that it stymies our flourishing and positive growth. Let me know what your thoughts and opinions are! Dr. Steve Milner

Reblogged on WordPress.com

06/25/2015

Hello and hope everyone is flourishing and fully engaged in living life! I recently came across these 3 quotes to resonated strongly with me so thought I'd pass them on...
1) "My purpose in life is to mentor, provide that whisper in someone's ear that changes their life."
2) "The great struggle is to remain emotionally vital and intellectually alive."
3) "I am ridiculously sentimental because I choose to remain open to this vast, messy thing we call life!!"

#3 is especially meaningful for me at this time. I will admit to being a Messy Emotional Serial Sentimentalist, or a MESS!!, and lately life has been providing ample challenging realities that allow me to really feel through some deep and intense feelings. The gift is that for me, and everyone, life is meant to be experienced through all of our senses, and that means it does get messy and extreme sometimes. How awesome to feel freedom and gratitude to grasp and fully embrace my MESSiness!! Anyone now what I'm talking about?? Have a great weekend and remember to live loud!

06/12/2015

Hello and buenas tardes! It has been a beautiful, hot, and finally dry week here in Houston. My daily neighborhood runs are much less soggy from rain but the humidity clings like a wet 2nd skin! Still invigorating and mind clearing, though, and I'm wondering, what do you do daily to exercise and boost your endorphins?
Another interest I'm committed to as a lifestyle is 'Positivity', which is by definition simply amplifying, building, and multiplying all goodness in your life.
Having a Skill Set to use is vital for growth in life and the simpler the tool the better I say! To begin cultivating a healthier/happier/more meaningful you requires applying new, exciting behaviors, and I will be presenting these over the next few weeks.
The first on my List is actually quite obvious: It just feels great!!
Yes, that's right. Positive feelings are as ancient as the sea tide. Seek them out and embrace what you think and define as strong, authentic, warm, and healthy emotions. We are genetically and neuro-chemically wired to want to feel great, it's just a matter of giving nature a helping hand!
Keep a Positivity Journal and make a daily note about what you experienced that gave you a feeling of joy and pride, and made you feel happy. It is OK to feel happy!! Take a shot at seeing how upbeat you can be starting right now, and revel in the fact that you're being true to your self and deserve every single joyful thought and feeling!!

06/03/2015

What are assumptions? Most have heard the cliche' response about "never assume anything; you might make an ass out of you and me", but have you ever stopped for a moment and considered the damaging effect assumptions can have on your life? When I assume something I am basing that decision on my own bias and prejudices, and known information that may be factual, or not. If I apply this to my relationships then there is a danger of causing some serious damage. Someone may just be having a rough day, or not feeling well, and not return a call, text, or make a snarky remark. My feelings get ruffled and I jump to the conclusion that it must be about me, and they're upset about something I've done, said, etc. So I end up being upset and may back off. But had I just asked, and had a conversation, I may found out the true cause, and not miss out on an opportunity to show compassion and love to someone I care about when they need it. Point: work on basing reactions and actions on facts and truth, not assumptions that often prove to be bogus. Have a great day!

05/29/2015

Quick update from a very very soggy and somewhat sad Houston. The reality is lives have been loss, and so tragically, and horribly. Thousands of people, some I know, had several feet of destructive bayou water in their homes and garages losing everything. My vehicle was on the street right in front of the house and we took a look outside around 11:00 Monday night, and saw Bayland had become a river, lapping at our ankles standing on the sidewalk. We barely got it up into the driveway with some water in the passenger floorboard carpet, but that was easily remedied. Others lost much more, and I pray they get all of the help and assistance they need, and quickly.
Summer is coming. This is a great time to break any negative habits that have been nagging at you and holding you back from "un-rutting" yourself and moving into a thriving, happier, stronger style of life. The plan and work itself is actually easy, and natural! It's making that initial move saying "Yes I will" that's difficult, but if not now, then when??
Couples often get stymied and stuck. Why not really jump start your relationship and grab a few new, fun, and highly useful communication skills before your vacation??
All you need do is reach out and ask how I can dig in with you and move you forward and past toxic patterns and useless habits. You have so much to gain!!
Dr. Steve

05/04/2015

Hello friends! It's already May and as usual it seems the year is flying by so fast. So far the year has been full of staying busy with my practice, working with some wonderful people looking to make significant changes in their life. We all want to thrive, flourish, and be happy at home and our careers. And our relationships, well we want to love so strong and fierce that it hurts, and be loved back the same way. Most of the time this is what we get, in one form or another! And then sometimes life throws us curveballs in all kind of ways. The point is to keep reminding ourselves we are strong, sane, worthy, and empowered to make change by making authentic, healthy choices and being reminded of our 'perfect imperfections' that give us energy and tell us everything always works out. Just a thought, but on my mind today. Everyone have a great Monday!

01/16/2015

Hi everybody, and thank you for visiting my page! Last year was a phenomenal year in terms of well, everything!! Many long term goals were completed and such amazing opportunities and happenings occurred that sent my "need to share these powerful messages, thoughts, and actions" brain center remains hyper stimulated! So I will be posting here daily, starting Monday 1/19/2015 many short, quick, and valuable informational nuggets that I am positive will change your life for the better, in all ways! So hang on and I hope many of you will spend some time with me each week and we roll, flourish, and thrive through each day. Take care!! Dr. Steve

09/19/2014

What a wonderful past few days we've had here in Houston for us pluviophiles!! Ofcourse the inches of heavy rain, widespread street and bayou flooding, and water logged roadways have made it difficult for some patients to to get into the office, but I can report no flooded out vehicles or injuries! It's all about flexibility, and cancel/rescheduling skills. One note of interest for this week is that some clients have been working on practicing mindfulness and setting small, achievable goals. These are being accomplished and I'm so excited to see people savoring special moments, bringing esteem and confidence along as they continue ramping up some happiness in their personal and professional lives. Thriving trumps just surviving or getting by any day of the week! What I do know is that none of us are ever truly alone, not if we will take a step towards others, and bit by bit broaden our lives. We are all tapestries, awesomely and beautifully colored, textured artistic renderings of each and every moment we move through so that expansion and growth become celebrations of color, light, laughter, and happiness!! Embrace challenge, forge ahead with change. It's all part of a journey we are ALL on, so loneliness has no stand here. So to everyone, have a great weekend doing whatever it may be that relaxes you and give you joy!!

07/30/2013

The phrase all kids and a lot of parents dread or can't wait for...."Back to school is right around the corner"...is on again! That's right. The time to begin winding down Summer trips, camps, late nights and late sleep-ins, and most often the motivation to ramp up that school schedule. It's so easy for a student to quickly forget school basics. Examples are study skills and doing homework, preparing projects, turning in the homework, taking notes, etc.

But in schools today, every grade is important and written in non-erasable ink. Most kids need a back-to-school pep talk on organizing and strategies on adapting back to a sharp routine. Often I get calls when the first grades come out and their not good. And we jump on it quickly and devise a workable plan for academic success and consistency.

If I had to choose 2 most problematic issues with kids in school, it would be low or lack of motivation, and inconsistency. There are answers and skills that address both. Want more information on preventing 1st semester melt downs? Then contact me. I'm happy to help!

Steve