09/01/2026
You left your tour to take pictures?!
Excuse me.
I’m sorry. I am verklempt.
I need a moment.
PEOPLE.
PEOPLE!!!
YOU ARE IN A CAVE.
The guide is talking.
Your group is moving.
Everybody is together.
What happens? You have a photo moment and think to yourself, “Hmm. Lovely. Educational. Fascinating. BUT I HAVE NOT YET PHOTOGRAPHED THIS ROCK FROM SEVENTEEN DIFFERENT ANGLES. WAIT! I NEED TO GET THAT PICTURE!”
AND OFF YOU GO.
BY.
YOURSELF.
WHAT ARE WE DOING?!
You are not a National Geographic photographer.
You are not America’s Next Top Cave Influencer.
YOU CANNOT LEAVE YOUR TOUR.
You cannot decide that your family needs to go over there because there’s “a better angle.” You cannot wander down another passage because the lighting is “really good over there.” You cannot fall 40 ft. behind your group because you were trying to “get the perfect shot of that formation.” You do not need 900 million pictures of it.
STAY. WITH. YOUR. TOUR.
Why?
Because WE NEED TO KNOW WHERE YOU ARE.
The other day, a family left their tour and wandered off somewhere else in the cave.
The guide didn’t know they left.
The tour continued.
Another guide began shutting the cave lights off…
WHILE THESE PEOPLE WERE STILL SOMEWHERE IN THE CAVE.
HELLO?!
This is how our blood pressure gets involved.
WE WANT YOU TO TAKE THE PICTURES! In fact, take so many pictures that your phone starts sending you threatening messages about its storage limit. Take your selfies. Take your family photo. Take your “LOOK MA, I’M IN A CAVE” picture.
But take those pictures WHILE STAYING WITH YOUR TOUR.
Your guide is responsible for you.
We do not want to play “WHERE IN THE CAVE IS CARMEN SANDIEGO?” We will see you with our not-so-secret cave cameras and you WILL BE ESCORTED OUT OF THE CAVE.
OH, WE KNOW WHAT SOME OF YOU ARE THINKING…
“But I didn’t have enough time to take all my pictures.”
DARLING, YOU HAD. AN. HOUR. AND. A. HALF.
How many pictures do you need?
And PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE, DO NOT LEAVE US A ONE-STAR REVIEW BECAUSE WE WOULDN’T LET YOU WANDER AROUND A CAVE UNSUPERVISED SO YOU COULD GET YOUR 900,000,00 PICTURES.
What are you going to write?
“One star. They made me stay with the tour. They rushed me. I was unable to photograph this stalactite from every known angle. Absolutely devastated.”
We are not trying to ruin your life.
We are trying to make sure EVERYONE WHO ENTERS THE CAVE COMES BACK OUT OF THE CAVE.
TOGETHER.
Talk amongst yourselves.